Recognize & Heal from trauma so that we don’t ”bleed” on our children with Special Guest Dr. Anissa Reilly

Welcome to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Turn behavior problems into no problem with Jackie Fineman. Are you ready to become the confident leader your kids crave you to be? Do you want to learn how to make parenting easier and more fulfilling?

Whether you are at your wit's end or you want to have more fun as a parent, you're definitely in the right place. Now, here's your host, Jackie Fineman. Welcome back to the No Problem Parenting Podcast, where we choose to deal with and overcome the emotional and behavioral challenges within our home. And you guys, I have a very special guest on with me today, Dr. Anissa Riley. I'm thrilled that you are here today.

And I'm thrilled to be here. Yeah, it's so exciting that we connected. You are helping people, you are lifting women up, you are supporting people and kids and you have your own story. And I just love when people can help others through their story, their experiences, right. And show them that you really can endure, you can overcome the challenges within your life, within your home. And so today we're going to talk all things trauma and your shell, you'll share a little bit of your personal experience, but also the wealth of knowledge that you have just in serving your community and the kids in the school district that you work in and all of that. So thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. And thank you listeners for tuning in. This is just an honor and a privilege to talk and share and help the next person who may not even know that they need assistance,

but just by listening, they're like, oh, wow, that light bulb moment. So thank you again. mental health in general is, you know, we're getting, we're making progress, right? It's not so scary to tell people that you're struggling with anxiety or depression, or, you know, your child was suicidal or, you know, something like that. Like we're, we're talking about it. It's, it's, it's not so, you know, hidden anymore or taboo. Right. And we have a lot of work to do.

And part of that work for me anyway, and you can certainly speak to, to this for yourself, Dr. Anissa is that we're sort of normalizing. It's not always just therapy that you need or talk therapy. There are so many other ways to be able to deal with and overcome the challenges, the trauma in our life. You, one of the things I got to get into this right away. One of the things that you say is that in order to parent properly, we need to heal from or recognize our own traumas as the parent, right? So that we don't, as you say, bleed on our children as the healing is taking place. Tell us more about that. So, yeah. So I think that prior to us going into this worldwide pandemic and in isolation, many of us were caught in this cycle of doing, doing, doing.

We had our schedules, whether it was our personal schedules or our children's sports schedules or activity schedules and our work schedules, that we didn't have the opportunity and time to really stop and address it. I know for me, when I experienced a lot of trauma or conflict in my life, I would go on to the next thing and I would go on to the next thing just because I wanted, I felt that if I stopped to address it, I just would never be able to gather myself again.

Like I would just fall to pieces. The pandemic forced us into isolation. And I think that's when people's suppression of what they didn't handle before it came to light. so we sometimes may need to create a pandemic type situation for us meaning that we may need to get away in order to deal because if you don't think of it like a soda bottle the soda bottle is full and it's capped and when the soda bottle drops all of a sudden this pressure builds on the inside if you shake a soda bottle pressure builds on the inside but it's still capped you're not dealing with it, it's nothing happened to it. But the more pressure that the soda bottle keeps on the inside, it's ready to explode. And that's the same way. And so that explosion is the way in which I would like to call your bleeding on your children. And your children are byproducts, they're collateral damage of your emotional scars that you haven't even dealt with or emotional wounds. So it's important to do that so that your children don't receive or feel the shrapnel of what's happening. I do a presentation called Mrs. Overdo it. How's that working for you?

And exactly what you were just saying, where it's like, you didn't feel like you could address or deal with specific traumas or things like that, because it's like, you're going to crumble. If you start addressing the deal, you're just going to, you're going to fall and you're a mom and you're working and you've got responsibilities and expectations and things. So you just don't feel sometimes like you can address it because you'll, you'll just kind of crumble and how could you recover from that? Right. And so, yeah, that's a similar thing happened to me after my mom passed away and I didn't even realize what I was doing. I didn't realize that I was keeping busy and helping others a good kind of busy, like constantly. What's the next, who's the next person I can help?

Who's the next thing? What what's the next thing I can do until I had a couple of two by fours hit me square across the face. One was my family saying, you're not mom. Kind of like back off.

And one was my my colleagues and co-workers saying, even though I was in a supervisor role that, you know, you're micromanaging me like get off our backs. And I was like, I'm just helping. What how could that be wrong? so um yeah talk about that when did you realize that you weren't maybe healed from some of the the trauma or experiences that happened to you when did you realize uh-oh I need to this is leaking out and I'm bleeding on my kids what happened so I think there were like two distinct moments um that made me realize that I mean there were like little small things that started making me aware, but two distinct moments happened when my daughter, one of the first times my daughter, you know, she was going off to college and my youngest daughter was going into high school. So at that point, like you really, I was still a single mom at the time. And so you're kind of really by yourself. I had finished graduate school, right? So she's off to college and the other one is, you know, at, in high school. So they're not as home as often as they were when they're in younger grades. And so I had a lot of time by myself and it was just like the silence became so loud. And in the silence, I started realizing, oh, wait a minute, I'm sad.

Oh, why is this happening? Oh, I don't, there was nothing to keep me busy because they weren't, they didn't have any schedules anymore. I wasn't in school anymore. And so now that this low happened, it was like, okay. And the stuff started coming up to the front. So that was like one of the major ones. And then the other major one is when my daughter was like a young adult, she had just, you know, crossed over, you know, to that 21 year old, crossed over and she got the courage to sit down and share with me that she was experiencing panic attacks. And I was like, what do you mean you experienced parents in tax? And she was like, yeah, I'm experiencing panic attacks. And she said she had started to go see, you know,

the psychologist on campus because she was having Hispanic attacks. And it was in those conversations that the psychologist got her to go back to an incident that occurred in her childhood as a result of being a firsthand account to a traumatic experience that I was involved in. And instead of me attending to it, I just kept us both moving because I felt that she was safe. I just felt that she was good. And, and when she expressed it, and she was very clear, and she was very articulate.

With this flood of emotions just came out and I just cried and all I could do was say to her, I'm so sorry for not protecting your emotional safety. Wow. And that was when I realized that I needed some more work to do, because if that happened without my knowledge, then there had to be some still residual pain and residual trauma that I didn't deal with because I hadn't dealt with it. And really until that moment where she made it so clear to me.

Yeah. And you had no idea. You were just thinking I'm protecting her. We're good. We're going to keep moving, not necessarily even moving on, but we're just going to keep moving and we're good and good things are going to happen. And then that memory and not experience is going to like go away.

Sometimes it's just, I love that you said like just naming it, talking about it, bringing it out. And, and that's like the most, one of the, one of the most therapeutic things that we can do is just not, it's just to name it. So we're not ignoring it anymore. And it's out there. And it's like just almost an automatic relief just in doing that right and then you apologized yeah and you didn't say I apologized you said I'm really sorry I talked to people about that all the time I'm sorry is the actual apology not I apologize right like I'm so sorry and what was her response to that she just started crying and she said mommy you didn't know she said you were doing the best that you could. And that made me sob even more because I was just like, but I was an adult and you were a child and I should have known. But you don't know. You know, if you are in a situation and your life experiences are around being super woman, and that's what you have noticed and seen, and your models are being strong and do it and you've got to make sure,

and you've always been successful, do you really have the tools needed in order to get over these humps and these bad life happenings that occur? Because life happens. Right. And if you aren't aware of how to move through those obstacles, then you do the best that you can.

And I was just grateful that she gave me the grace and forgave the fact that I did the best that I could. and it wasn't intentional. Right. Right. Well, and you know, honestly, as much as we don't want our kids to go through tough times or we want to make everything easier on them and we want to make, create this better life for them. I often say to parents too, but then we're robbing them of the opportunity to learn how to bounce back. You know, that strength that you're talking about, it's not always about being strong. Uh, that, uh, Shunkweiler was just on the podcast not too long ago and he had a TEDx and he talked about that resilience is not steel, it's rubber, the ability to bounce back, not to just be strong all the way through. So that's what you're reminding me of.

And I think that's, that's amazing. So what are some things that you've done or that you suggest to, to parents on how we can deal or not how it can deal with, but how, how do we heal or begin that healing process? So, you know, when I have conversations with people, I use an acronym called BAD, B-A-D. Do you want to be a bad, I don't know if I can use this terminology on your podcast, but you go for it. Okay. Badass. So B-A-D. So the first one is B and it stands for breathe.

And what people don't realize that breathing is one of the most important, effective, biological, physiological responses that you can engage in because our brain is made up of three parts. You have your reptilian brain, you have your limbic brain, and you have your prefrontal cortex. And all the information goes through your reptilian brain first. So that's your survival. And then it hits your feelings and then it hits your logic and reasoning center.

But when you're in a state of panic or trauma, the only thing that's kicking in is your survival instincts. So you don't have the ability to be logical or reason. You may get to the feelings, you may feel fear. And so those two would be driving you. Classic example is when everything finishes and you think about, why did I do that? Why did I do that? It's because you were operating in your survival and your feelings mode. So the best way to make sure that you are in a place of being able to be logical and reason yourself through it is to breathe. It tricks your nervous system. It calms everything down. So deep breathing and there's ways to breathe. People don't know. I just breathe. No, no, no, no, no. Deep breathing is a skill, is an art, is a technique.

That's why yoga has become so popular. Meditation has become so popular. And then the second letter in bad is A. So you got to acknowledge it. You can't acknowledge what you, you can't heal what you want to acknowledge. So if you are still, you know, pushing it away, like I was, then you're not going to be able to do anything with it as much as you are saying, yes, yes, I'm healed. But did you acknowledge it? Did you name it? Did you voice it? Can you speak it? As much as it may hurt, as much as you may cry, can you speak it? Can you name it? So you got to acknowledge it.

And the last one is deal with it, right? You know, there are people who just don't deal. There are people who have many options in front of them and they don't take anything and they'll rather die than deal. That's why they're called jackasses, right? Like you just, I mean, you didn't just like, it's right there. Just take it. Right. And so when you put those three together in concert and you work them in tandem, you know, breathing, acknowledging and dealing, then you are able to clearly take one step forward because you can see where you're going, you know, where you're not coming, where you came from and you know, where you're headed.

And so I said, you want to be a badass, breathe, acknowledge and deal with it. And then dealing also requires you to take action, but you can find somebody who's been successful, read some books, get some information. If you're going to watch a podcast, I mean, if you're going to watch a YouTube channel, if you're going to listen to a podcast, if you're going to be on TikTok, if you're going to be on Instagram, listen to the individuals who are giving you the information to help you heal and to give you the tools necessary to move forward. Because TikTok dance is great but how are they helping you you know youtube memes are great but how are they helping you a lot of those are distractions right where we're not wanting to we're just going through the motions to like survive get through the yeah get through the day but we're not actually acknowledging it i i love that the breathing thing like it is free yeah it is the most available resource that we have and oftentimes we have a hard time doing it if you like i teach the hand on your hard hand on your stomachs. It just takes six seconds to move from that reptilian brain,

right. Through to your thinking cat, just shift that amygdala out of the smoke detector, warning, warning, warning, incoming danger. But it can be hard to catch that breath because our body's so tense. So I love that you say that breathing calms, it actually tricks your central nervous system, a little bit of trickery in there and just getting yourself to actually take that breath. And sometimes you have to practice, obviously we're breathing or we'd be, you know, kicked over, but you know, it's like, it does take you time to like, actually get that good breath. And even the first three or four might still be kind of pressured.

So, you know, we need to practice that show it to our kids, but getting ourselves to calm down. So we're not in that reactionary part of the brain. And then I love, love, love that you say, acknowledge it and name it. Just say, you know, a lot of times we don't even want to share with our kids what we've been through, what's happened because we think it's too heavy for them.

it's too much and they feel it they know there's sponges right so it's so much better to just be able to say you don't have to go into all the ins and outs it's you know scary details but to let them in on where you're at and maybe what happened to you and why you might be less available some days or sad some days or whatever right well we act in the way that you're acting you know because sometimes parents don't allow their children to engage in certain activities or go certain places because of their experiences. Right. And acknowledge that and be open with that and trust yourself and trust your kids. Absolutely. So how do we move forward if our trauma has a stuck in a state of paralysis where we're just literally frozen? You know,

we talk a lot about fight or flight, but there's also the freeze part of the brain. Yes. So the first thing, you know, to be technical, you got to warm it up, right? Because if you're frozen, you're cold, right? You got to warm it up. So you have to have a warm demand. I call them warm demanders on yourself.

and so so what i mean by that is you're going to tell yourself that this is what i'm going to do this is before before you even like get into situations where people are now calling triggers right so you have to say you know what i know that this is what's happening to me i know this is why it happened to me and this is what i'm going to do when i find myself in these situations so you're going to demand it of yourself and then when it occurs you're going to give yourself permission, and then you're going to demand that you put into action what you've already laid out for yourself. Now, the reason why you have to do that beforehand is because you have the opportunity to negotiate with yourself regarding what you know you can do. Like, you know, some people are going to go, you know, I'm going to eat a chocolate bar, or I'm going to cry, or I'm going to stop using expletives. Like, what are you going to stop doing, or what are you going to do?

And if you can negotiate with yourself prior to, then you can come to an agreement. Yep, I can do that. I can do that one. So when you get to that point, okay, hold yourself accountable. And then you'll start doing it. And the more you do that, the more you'll begin to see that you are further away from your natural default responses.

and you have started creating this new habit. And then once you have created this new habit, then you're going to demand something of yourself some more. So demand it of yourself. So for instance, for me, when I go through a lot, when I feel like this or trauma hits, I give myself permission 24 hours to cry.

I cry for 24 hours. I don't care if it's the ugly cry. I want to eat a pot of ice cream. I'm just, you're going to cry for 24 hours because I didn't allow myself to feel, right?

Right. But after 24 hours, once the 24 hour mark hits that 21st hour and one minute, one second after I wipe my tears and I go, okay, what are we going to do about it? How are we going to heal? And that is what I require of myself. I've demanded myself and I'm beating, I'm unfreezing myself.

Yeah. So that you don't get stuck in your muck and just spinning your wheels and, you know, kind of in that hamster wheel of like, you know, you're never getting out of it. And, and then you just keep moving. You deal, you do the D deal with it.

I'm glad you said about the mind thing, because some people need to listen to the story that they're telling themselves. There's like a narrative that people will play on the head. Oh no, I'm not good enough. Oh, I didn't get the promotion because I'm not good enough.

Oh, I wasn't, I didn't get picked for the team because I'm not good enough. So that's something that you're going to have to negotiate with yourself prior to and say, when I hear, hear myself say, I'm not good enough. or I feel I'm not good enough, what are you going to demand that you replace it with? It may not be I'm good because you may not believe that yet. Right. Right. It may be what do I need to fix right now to be better? So meet yourself where you are and you can undo it.

That's what I want. I love it. No, I love that. I teach a lot in a step three of no problem parenting that changed the conversation, which is all about the difference between unconditional praise and conditional praise. And I think a lot of times we're doing too much of that unconditional praise to our kids, trying to pump them up and beef them up and tell them how great they are and how wonderful if they don't believe it from the inside, we're just hot air. You tell me all, all you want, how great I am and how many friends I have and all that kind of stuff, but I really don't. So now, you know, it weakens our, um, the view that our kids have of us. They think, well, you don't even know, you don't get it. You'd never understand. Right. So instead we want to do that conditional positive stuff. Like what is it that they are factually doing that is that they can see and they can go, Oh yeah, you're right. And they can agree on. Right.

And then we can throw in the unconditional afterwards. So no, I love that. You know, you received your doctorate in spite of suffering from post-traumatic stress, you plowed through and finished your doctorate while really dealing with some pretty heavy issues. And you talk about how you've embraced the wounded healer archetype. So tell people who don't know what that is, like what, what's the essence of that? Yeah. So the psychologist Carl Jung coined the phrase wounded healer. And it is really the fact of individuals who have been damaged, been wounded, who have healed, and now they're using their wounds, their healed, their scars to help others.

because some people use their scars and they just forget about it. They don't want to think about it anymore. But then there are other people who need to learn or who need to be assisted or who need to heal, hear a journey that it is possible. So there are some of us who are doing that and who are courageous enough to go back into their past lives, go back into those places that were traumatic, go back into those places where it may drum up some scary thoughts and feelings.

but are using that courage leveraging that courage so that others can be successful and be triumphant so yeah I'm a wounded healer um and there are some times I'm just like whoo yeah we gotta go I gotta go there okay not sure I was ready for that today or I feel like it but I'm gonna do it because it does matter I mean people we just make assumptions left and right about like we think our when we're in a tough spot, we think our situation, knowing other people have gone through it, whatever, but it's like, oh no, you didn't do it. You didn't go through it like I did, or you didn't feel it like I did. And of course everybody's situation is unique to them.

But I mean, I'd even have parents send me videos of their kids, you know, throwing screamers or having meltdowns or these wild tantrums and these fights, you know, between the siblings and all that kind of stuff as if I'd never seen anything like it before, which I have not seen at all. right? I don't claim to have seen it all, but in 20 years of doing in-home family counseling, working with child protection, children's mental health, there's a lot of stuff I did see.

And it's like, parents would be like, but there's no, my kid is that bad. There's so much worse than anything you've ever worked with. I'm like, okay, then that's a great challenge. But often it like our experiences we think are so much worse than everybody else as if that's an excuse almost for us not to have to deal, right. To, to just really deal into and to overcome it.

What are some of the suggestions you have as, um, you know, principal working for years, like, what did you say? 17 years working as a principal, what kinds of behaviors and things do you see in kids and how are you encouraging them to deal with maybe some of the trauma or, um, the hardships that they've encountered in their life? So one of the things that I've noticed is that children innately crave boundaries and parameters, right? They like innately crave that. And when you are raising or rearing a child, it's important to put those boundaries and parameters in place, regardless of what they tell you, right?

um because they're learning their world they're learning what's right in the world how to navigate the world and if they are left to their own devices left to their own thinking then they will come up with an idea that is not plausible right or risky it's not possible like you're like well how would you like that right and so because they innately crave it and although they're going a bucket because that's just the nature of a child. It will create them with the sense and awareness of when they're in traumatic situations. So even if they are privy to it, even if they are a victim of it, because you've given them the parameters of how to look at world and be critical thinkers about what's going on, then they can apply those skills to their own personal situation. We just talked about, you know, the struggle being part of growth. It's important to let your children struggle, but they can't struggle without knowledge, without tools.

And when you are doing that, when you are giving them parameters and when they are in those traumatic situations, then they can pull from the tools that have been set for them or given to them through those parameters. So that's one thing I've seen. And I think that's probably one of the most important is that I see a lot of children that don't have boundaries or parameters or, or, or are not even aware that they're supposed to have them. Yeah. Right. I love that you say that because, uh, with no problem parenting, we say become the confident leader. Your kids crave you to be, you are, you're just proving that right now too, with that it's innately, they crave leadership. They don't always like a lot of parents have said to me, they don't crave my confident leadership. I'm like, yes, they do. They're just not going to let you know they do.

Yeah. But they feel much more secure and security is safety. And it's, it's what creates trust, right? So they know that you're going to fall. You mean what you say, you're going to follow through with what you say, and you don't have to be mad to follow through. The kid can be upset.

They can buck the boundaries. They can buck the system. Right. And you can sit back and watch that happen and with understanding and empathy, like, I know you don't want to follow this rule. I know you don't want whatever it is. And I'm just going to be right here until you get her done. You know, like they have so much more respect when people, when parents and teachers and, you know, any adult that's in, you know, in a leadership role actually follow through with what they say they're going to do and hold them accountable. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's proven because we as adults, we'll go back and say, I'm so glad my mom didn't let me do that. I'm so glad my dad said no. Like we, we say it later on in life, even though we were mad when it happened, we, I was mad that I was got put on punishment. I was mad. I was grounded. I didn't get to go to that pool party.

I didn't get to drive that car there, but now that we're older, we look back and say, yeah, yeah. Thank goodness they were strong enough to set some limits and some boundaries and some parameters for me so that, you know, and then, and then not too much, not too tight, right? We want our kids to be able to make some, some, take some risks, make their own mistakes, because that's where the best learning happens from, right? Is when we're experiencing it ourselves. You have a couple of books out there. One of them I'm in the process of reading right now, speaking in the moment. I love it. You talk about the five buckets of leadership and book is really written, you know, figuring this out for your purpose or your passion in life or career related or whatever, but man, it, you should write the parenting version of this.

Okay. Like for real, because the five buckets of leadership as a parent and in your family speaking in the moment, like being able to not be freaked out by our kids' behavior or misbehavior and being like totally prepared to respond versus react. I read a lot of books with a parenting lens, obviously, because it's my field of study or my field of work. But I love like creating a vision and a mission for your family. Yes. You know, it goes right along with the beliefs and the morals and all of that. Like, I definitely think that you need a, like a volume two or a sequel to this five buckets of leadership. It's just a real quick read, but there's a little bit of work involved in here. So it doesn't, it takes you a little bit more time. You look at the book And you're like, oh, I'll read that in a couple hours or something.

And then you're like, oh, there's work in there to do. It makes you stop and you got to think and you really can't move forward until you kind of do the work. Yeah, exactly. So then you also have a book out there called Fighting the Good Fight.

Tell us about that. Yeah. So I was fortunate enough to be a collaborating author on the book that you just mentioned called Fighting the Good Fight, Narratives of African-American Principalship. And so it's about 50 school leaders from across the nation that have come together.

to share their experience, some good, some bad about being a principal that sometimes may feel as if it's just as an African-American, but I'm sure any school leader, when they read the story, you're going to be like, yeah, someone else out there understands from as far away as New York to as Midwest and on the West coast as well. I love it. I love it. And then I have to talk about, So my podcast is audio only right now.

It's not video, but we're going to have to put a picture somewhere in the show notes of your beautiful logo. So tell us about your next sort of venture for empowering women. Yes. So my logo is my side profile, which I love, and I'm, I'm a big airing kind of girl, so you'll see it, but it's the moon.

So it kind of gives you that feeling of yin and yang. That's what I wanted to make sure that you kind of feel that, but it's really empowered a woman empowered. and the moon represents, you know, it's a crescent moon. And that's when it's like, you know, midnight, joy comes in the morning. Yeah. Midnight is over, but joy comes in the morning.

And just realize that whatever you need, you already have, it's already in you and just bring it out and deal. Yeah. I love that. I like one of my favorite quotes is that particularly rough days when you feel like you can't possibly endure, remember that your track record for getting through those days so far is 100%.

Yeah. And that's pretty darn good. So tell us about the t-shirts and the mission behind Empowered Women. So it's important that we're helping others.

So we have t-shirts, it does have the logo on it and we make sure that we're helping others through our TV show. It's helping us get the message out there that there are people who have leveraged their trauma to be triumphant. And we just want to make sure that people know that it can be done because there are other people out there that can do it. So our t-shirts are for sale. We have mugs for sale as well, but all of that helps us just to produce more content to help get the wounded healer message out there.

I love that. So let's talk a little bit about the TV show before we wrap up. And of course, I'm going to have all this information, all your information in the show notes, But tell us the essence of the TV program. Ask Dr. Riley.

Yeah. So it's the Ask Dr. Riley show. It's funny because some of my producers are like, what are they asking you?

Why is it called the Ask Dr. Riley show? Like that is always our conversation at our table when we're talking. And I'm just like, okay, guys.

But it's really around the fact that prior to the show coming to fruition, the people would ask me a lot because I've been trusted with trouble. I've been trusted with trauma. And they would ask me a lot. And so I've taken- Wait a minute.

I love that. You've been trusted with trouble. Yeah. Is that what you just said?

Yeah. Trusted with trouble. And trusted with trauma. Yeah. So the print that came from a, I was in a speaking engagement and one of the speakers leveraged their whole talk in the book of Job from the Bible and talked about how in the story of Job, the enemy had to get permission in order to create calamity in Job's life. And God said yes, because God trusted Job with the calamity that was about to come his way, because God trusted that Job would not turn his back on his faith and on his belief on his people.

right and so the speaker used that phrase and it resonated with me and ever since then i was like yeah i get it i was trusted with trouble because sometimes we ask why is this happening to me why am i going through this every time i take five steps forward it feels like i'm taking 10 steps back every time a good thing is going on something horrible happens right yeah um and so I'm not going to say you maybe were trusted with trouble. But what I am saying is that I realized that I was trusted with it. And that is why I have leaned into this wounded healer archetype approach because my life has been so much better once I have been freely given of my trials and my trauma. Like so many things have happened. So much blessing has happened. So many doors have open. So many lives I've seen has been transformed by me being freely given with the trouble that I've entrusted with. So that's what I came about. And that's what the show's premise is on.

That is so cool. So people come on and share their stories of resilience and being able to bounce back from adversities and traumas and different, you know, childhood experiences or even adult experiences. Right. And they're just sharing so that, because I think it's true. We learn so much from hearing other people's stories. And then the final episode in the season is when I turn the camera on myself and I share my traumatic experience around the theme. So I turn the camera on myself and then I just detail what has happened. So it's been a healing for me as well too, because sometimes I'm like, Oh wow. I forgot about that. Right. So yeah.

That is so cool. So ask Dr. Riley it's streaming on Dame dash studios, right. And on Fox soul.

Yes. So go check that out. We're going to make sure to have those links in the show notes. Well, Dr. Anissa, this has been so fun. I hope we get to connect more and continue this conversation and, uh, just kind of support each other in our work with kids and parents. And I just, I really appreciate you taking the time to be with me today.

Thank you so much for having me. And it's been an honor. And I'm going to hold you to us getting together and doing more work. Absolutely.

And I look forward to that. Okay, parents, make sure you go check out AskDrRiley.com and our resources page at NoProblemParents.com backslash resources.

Thank you for tuning in to the No Problem Parenting podcast. Join Jackie next time for more tips, tools, and resources that will help you become the confident leader your kids crave you to be. Who do you know that we could support on their parenting journey? Like this podcast, subscribe, share, or leave a review of the show.

Your support of the No Problem Parenting podcast pays it forward and helps us help more families. Thank you.