Words Matter: with Special Guest and In Memory of Ellie Conklin of the Faith Fueled Podcast

Welcome back, No Problem Parents. Today's episode is very bittersweet for me. I'm going to try to get through this introduction with the strength that I know the Holy Spirit and Miss Ellie Conklin are sending me today. The episode was recorded in July of 2021, and Ellie and I had just met through the Stephanie Gass Show. Stephanie Gass's podcast is for Christian women who want to grow their online business. And Ellie and I just kind of connected and hit it off and decided that since we were both fairly new to the podcasting world, that we would record an episode. So we did.

And it was later in the evening so that her husband could be home to watch there at the time, six month old and almost two year old, her daughters. And so it was late in the evening. We'd both had a pretty long day and we just, I mean, we ended up recording like for an hour and a half, which was way too long for an episode. But we got to know each other. We had internet issues. We were laughing. We were correcting ourselves. We were like, oh, let's say this this way or let's do this different. And and so by the end of that evening, even though we had both been we were so tired and exhausted, we were like, we've got to rerecord this because it's going to take forever to edit. And now we really know what we want to summarize with the episode. And so let's redo it. And unfortunately, lots of life stuff got in the way of that and we never did rerecord. So I took the time today and spent several hours editing this episode so that I could get to the heart of what she really wanted to say and make sure that Ellie is honored and her message is shared with all of you because it is just so important. She taught me so much in this episode just for myself and how words really matter. The words that we say to our kids,

even some of those things that we would never think are a big deal, like calling your kids silly. You'll hear about that in today's episode. I'm going to share with you a little bit more about Ellie, but before I do, I just want to let you know that Ellie has passed away. She has joined our father in heaven and leaves behind her husband and two sweet little girls. And this sudden health emergency put Ellie in the hospital and she did not make it back out. And so we can't always understand why these things happen. But I am so grateful that when her body couldn't endure, that God rescued her and brought her home.

And when I learned of the news from this Christian women's podcasting group, who is, you know, many of us are really very connected. And even some of us like me, who cannot be as interactive with the group, there's no judgment. There's no, there's, I mean, like everybody is just connected. And I just really wanted to thank the Stephanie Gass show and the group of people, mostly women, but there are a couple of guys in there that just really pray for each other and love on each other. And it is an amazing group. Let me tell you a little bit about Miss Ellie.

So initially her podcast was called the Spanglish Mama Podcast. Ellie was led by the Holy Spirit to start the podcast. And then as time has gone on in this last couple of years, her family decided to really initiate a movement called the Faith Fueled Family in order to teach parents and children how to speak life and the truths about God over themselves and family members, no matter what the circumstances or trials in their life were or are. And so Ellie's family is going to continue that work. They know that God's ways and power are above our comprehension, but they do trust as we do in his will, his love and wisdom. No Problem Parenting is going to continue to honor Ellie's legacy and share the Faith Fueled Family resources on our resources page at noproblemparents.com. Let me tell you a little bit more about Ellie.

Her first language is Spanish, yet she is very fluent in English. She loves to flow freely between the two, declaring God's word as an intercessor for the kingdom, Spanglish style. She's passionate about biblical truth and the power of our words, especially when it comes to what we or others say to our children. She and her husband are on a mission to allow Yahshua to transform their mind and guide their words as they cultivate and raise their children into the world changers that God created them to be.

You're gonna hear more about that in today's episode. Ellie's message to you is that I see you falling victim to search for answers on the internet instead of first seeking Holy Spirit. There is more that Holy Spirit has for you in parenting your children to activate the purpose and calling our Heavenly Father has for their life. One of the areas he is concerned with as parents is what we speak daily to our kids.

So in today's episode, you're going to learn about parenting with the Holy Spirit. You can go to thefaithfieldfamily.com and get the top five words that speak life and the power of words in action. And I just want to send all my love and blessings to Ellie and her family.

All right, so welcome to the show, Ellie. I am super excited to have you here to talk with our listeners today about words we say to our children that plant curses and how to plant blessings instead. Ooh, that curses word just made me kind of freak out a little bit. I'd like you to tell our listeners a little bit about the Spanglish Mama podcast and how you kind of got to where you are today. Hi, Jackie. It is such an honor to be here. And you know, I give all the honor and glory really to God, to the Lord, because the way I got here and just as I started this Fanglish Mama podcast has been really a lifelong journey that I did not realize. But all glory be to God that, you know, he will do things in our life and he did some things in my life that really brought me in this direction. I never thought I would be a voice speaking for children, a voice really wanting to cater to that particular parenting scene. Like I really did not see myself there.

And so I just praise God for what he's doing and what he wants to do. And at the Spanglish Mama a podcast, what I do is encourage mothers and especially the Latina, Spanish speaking moms, Spanglish speaking, because I speak both English and Spanish. And I just encourage them in the word and I encourage them to parent their children with the guidance of Holy Spirit, and then how to speak words to their children so that they can raise them up to have a strong identity in the Lord, in Yahshua, and really become the people that they're meant to be, the purpose and their calling that they have in this earth, that they would meet that.

And by the time that they go home, you know, by the time we pass, that they will be able to say to the Lord, you know, I already have, I have done everything that you told me to do, but how does that start? It starts from really the womb. And so that's what I focus on at the Spanish Mama podcast. it's so great that you actually have understood and heard that calling at such a young age too.

I mean, for some people it takes years and years and years. We just, we grow up, we think, okay, I've got to get the job. I've got to do the thing I've got, you know, and you kind of fall into that. Oh, now I can't leave that job. Longevity is important. I got to stay there. And you're just sort of like, you know, no, I'm, I'm hearing God speak to me and I'm, I'm hearing this is what I need to do. And I'm going to honor that and follow that. I definitely started like everyone else, like, you know, went to college, wanted to do my own thing, go after the career, go ahead and reach the milestones, you know, make a ton of money, get rid of all my debt. Like that was the worldly perspective really. But I can say that first and foremost, I really have a heart that loves God.

And I always wanted to please him. And I praise him that he would even give me that because the word says that no one will call him Lord unless he reveals himself to to him so that's really what what brought me to him that he revealed himself to me at a very young age and I just knew that I needed to find him and find what he wanted me to do here and um I praise God that even this calling has unfold because of training, really training and equipping, finding a church home, a place that affirmed me, first of all, and saw that and spoke those things out in my life. And it has brought me now into what I would say an accelerated place, because I, like you said, I am pretty young for finding my calling, my purpose. But that is, you know, again, because of the community that the Lord connected me with that has made that possible. And I'm so, so grateful and honor them for that. Yeah, that's so great. And you have a couple of kiddos at home, little, little kiddos,

right? Yes, I have a six month old and a soon to be two year old. So in a few months, she's going to be two. You are definitely a busy mama. And I'm so excited to talk about the topic today. It's maybe something that people really aren't paying attention to or aren't aware of a lot. A lot of times nowadays, those of us in the parenting coaching field or counseling field, you know, we, we talk a lot of behavior modification stuff, and we talk a lot about not yelling at your kids. I'm so excited to talk today about the words that we say to our kids and how they can actually plant curses on them, which sounds kind of counteractive, right? Like you would think that people who are believers, who are Christian, who believe in God could not possibly do that. But if you look at the Bible in James 3, chapter 3, I believe, it talks about James is talking to the people, to the people at the church and saying, you know, how is it possible that you will allow your tongue to praise God and then turn around and curse men. And so that is really what happens that with our words, we cause curses upon others. And Proverbs is full of that.

So many scriptures, there's the common Proverbs scripture about the power of the tongue and the power of words, which is Proverbs 18 verse 21, where it says death and life are in the power of the tongue. And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Meaning that if you are planting death type of words or curses, then you're going to eat that type of fruit. If you're planting life, then you're going to reap or eat that type of fruit. So there's, there's many, many scriptures for sure. And so a couple of questions for you, you can answer them in any order that you want, but I'm going to ask both of them kind of right away. What is the power of words and how does it affect our children? But then also what words are you referring to when you say that words plant curses? So in John, Yahshua, the Messiah, which is simply the Hebrew name of Jesus, he said that it is a spirit that quickens and the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak unto you,

they are spirit and they are life. But there are some of you that believe not. And the revelation that I've gotten from that is that when we speak, there's a vibration that happens. There's something that manifests. And so our words are not merely something that's floating around.

they're like, they're sounds and they have direction and they, they go places wherever you're sending them. And they cause something to basically to be planted depending on where it's going. So like, just to give an example, because this can get a little bit, I guess, technical, but if you think about when you say to someone something beautiful, like Jackie, you look amazing today. Like you just look like you're glowing. Well, what did that cost in you? That made you feel like, wow, like, thank you. That made you maybe say, oh, wow, that made me feel good. But if I said something evil, which I'm not going to say, but just think about this.

If I said something like, let's just say to something else, like I said something like, oh, you are stupid. It can cause in that person or specifically in that child that their spirit to be crushed, you know, are there specific words? Yeah, yeah, there's multiple. So I would say the Holy Spirit has revealed a few to me that have been just of my own use. And this is where, why I empower others like other mamas to have a relationship with Holy Spirit, because what might be my vocabulary might not be yours. So in one of my episodes, I talk about one of the ways that the Holy Spirit really convicted me at a young age to repent from what I was saying to my little brother. And I was saying a word in Spanish, which is ñame, just in case we have any Spanish speakers. And it means ñame is really not a bad word. It means a root vegetable that grows on the ground. But the way that my culture uses it, the Latino Dominican culture uses it, is kind of like, oh, you're being dumb, you know? And so I used to just say it like nonchalant to my little brother until one day the Holy Spirit, when I was seeking healing in another area, he highlighted,

okay, yes, I will give you that healing, but you first need to repent for saying this to your little brother. And it caused me to be in shock because I was just like, what? I didn't mean to like be mean to him I didn't mean to cause any harm for him and the Holy Spirit is like yeah but that's that's what happened so you just need to repent and I simply did because I just obey the Holy Spirit he'll say something I'm like yes yes sir like that's what I just I follow what he says and so I did and he also instructed me to go to my little brother at the time he was five years old, go to my little brother and ask him for forgiveness. And I was so nervous. I was a teenager in college. Like what, like, what is he gonna, is he even gonna understand? I don't know.

But when I sat there and looked at my brother in the eyes and I said, Hey, I have something important to tell you. I have been saying this word to you. You remember? And he's like, Oh yeah, you call me that all the time. Five years old. He's like, yeah, totally. No, you, you, you say that all the time. And I'm like, but it's actually not a good word. And I didn't realize that it was actually really mean. And I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to say that to you. And with God's help, like, I am not going to say that to you again. So would you please forgive me? And he's like, okay, like, okay. But he looked at me, like afterwards, like he was kind of like pensive, you know like okay sister of course I forgive you and he gave me a hug and I actually felt something when he gave me the hug like I felt something I felt a release and that was I would say one of the first um the first ways that the Holy Spirit began to train me on this truth that it's not just the word or my intentions behind it is actually that it was causing something and that it was keeping me even from receiving healing in another area in my life. So I was just like blown away by that. He was five when little when this was happening, but you apologize to them when years later when you were both grown or no, he was still five years old. And yeah,

there's a 13 year age gap. So he he was very young. And what I what I love is that he was just so childlike innocent, you know, like there was just no, for him, it was not like, oh, I don't even know how to explain it, but it was just, it's so different than asking adults for forgiveness. You know, like they kind of feel like you owe them something. Like, I don't know if you ever felt that vibe, Jackie, but like with children, they are so quick to release. They're so quick to let go. And so that's really what I felt with my little brother there. So, so Jackie, here's a few words in English that I have found the Holy Spirit correct in you, right? So like, words like silly, words like you're a rebel, words like you're a troublemaker. And some people,

I don't know if you can think about this, Jackie, like some people, they say it with such a delight, Like cutesy, like, oh, are you being a troublemaker? You know, and it really doesn't sound bad at all. But troublemaker, what is it? I mean, you don't really have to Google that.

It's a person that makes trouble. And so that right there is not planting a seed of life, you know, is planting something to the child that perhaps they're not even doing. They're just, I've seen it used at the playground when a child is just simply climbing. It's like, they're not making trouble.

They're just playing like children. And, you know, I've seen it used in so many ways that it just doesn't make sense, but it's just so ingrained in our culture. And we think it's cutesy or maybe that people just don't know what to say or how to describe behaviors or things that they see children doing. But they'll use that. And for example, you're being so silly. Oh, you're so silly.

And I've seen that particular word used as like a child being funny. They're making a funny face and they look like they're funny. But when you look up the word silly, you just do a quick Google search and it goes straight to someone who's foolish. and what the Bible says about the fool is what's dangerous because the Bible defines foolish and really is someone who is not wise and so even Psalms 1 talks about blessed is the man who walks not in the in the council of the ungodly talking about the the wisdom the wisdom of the person who is blessed. And so that's really the kind of words that we don't find offensive, that we think are just, you know, whatever, they have no, no deeper meaning. But when you allow the Holy Spirit to show you the truth behind them, and even just doing a Google search will show you the actual definition and you know do you want to be planting that and then the other part is how many times do we say that to one child how many times do multiple people say that and the reason why I feel like the Holy Spirit really highlighted silly to me is because one of the things I've always heard say about my generation is all these people you know you don't have common sense you don't have like the ability to carry a conversation or do things a particular way. And this is what was being said about my generation. This is when I was in college, people were, you know, older adults being

upset about just how drawn into the technology we can be. And so they'll say, you just have no common sense. But when you look at the word silly, it literally says lacking common sense. It'll say of foolish and lacking common sense. And when I look at my parents' generation, that's who were saying silly, silly, silly all the time to the children. And this was everywhere. You know, it's not just the parents, it was everywhere. So it's very ingrained in the culture. And I never even thought of it that way, but it's like, yeah, good point. Troublemaker was, I remember that since I was little. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my, my parents speak Spanish, so they use a whole bunch a different mother vocabulary. But I would say that these were observations I made just as I was going through college. And even now, like at the playground, I'll see parents use that word silly. And really, it came back to me as, you know, me asking the Holy Spirit, like, why am I struggling with some things? There are some things in my life, personally, as an adult now that I struggle with, I'm like, why am I struggling with this? Like, I should not be sure I'm way past this.

I already know what to do. I am trying my best. I'm doing all the things. And the Holy Spirit was like, you actually have some words attached to your to your life that you got to break with. And I'm like, what? So so that is really enough. You know, this has been unfolding like little by little as I have been asking, you know, in my in my devotion time and relationship with the Lord.

asking these these questions and then that has unfolded like oh you have some words that you kind of been carrying and so even looking back at right like how he's been training me since I didn't even realize it right but since I was a teenager he's like remember when I had you renounce that word and repent from it saying to your brother and ask and let ask him for forgiveness. And I'm like, yeah, remember that? He said, that's the reason why, because now, now he's free from that. He won't be carrying that into adulthood.

So interesting. We talk about how these words manifest as a curse or they manifest as a blessing in our children's lives. So talk a little bit about that. Yeah. Great question. So like, instead of silly, because we were just talking about that, First of all, realizing what the biblical truth is, because there's power in having revelation and having understanding beyond just wanting to replace.

Because the reason why I say this, because I struggled myself with replacing some of these words because they're so ingrained, right, like in the vocabulary. So Holy Spirit had to train me in, OK, there's a process to uproot that from your life. And so one of them, number one, is finding the biblical truth. What does the Bible say about fools, right? And fools are opinionated. That's what Proverbs 18 says. Fools are out of control. And then again, this is connected back to the word silly. Proverbs 29, 11 talks about that.

And then I'll share one more. Fools are a dwelling place for the spirit of anger, which is in Ecclesiastes 7.9. So this just gets deeper. There's other things that might be attached to that.

so what to replace it with once you come to understanding that what the bible says about this word and then why you want to replace it then it comes to repenting and renouncing it and just saying lord if you have a relationship with god right with uh yeshua the messiah you say lord i repent from saying these words i renounce them i do not want to use them towards my child anymore. I let it go. I put that at your feet now. And I just pray that you give me the words that you show me the truth of who my child is instead of that. And some of the ones that he has taught me regarding the opposite of silly is you are joyful, right? Because usually people want to say, oh, you're being so funny. Well, you're such a joyful child, or you're such a cheerful baby.

wow you are funny like you have such a comedic sense of humor like that's just say the truth say what you mean and mean what you say and um the other one to really go ahead and combat silly just say you are wise you are wise I love that so much this is so great this is a very important subject people don't even know they're doing it yeah yeah and that's that's the really that's the plan of the of the enemy to cause us to say things that we're like not even thinking yeah we didn't even mean it that way and that's the part that's the reason why I have such a heart for moms because like you're not meaning it that way and even just random people they're not meaning it that way but the enemy is wanting to use those words to keep us from our purpose and our calling to keep us from becoming like what God wants us to be. So then when you're older,

you're like wrestling with all these different things. And you're like, where is this coming from? And this is, there's stuff that you're like, I absolutely hate that. And I don't know why I do it. Well, I'm just thinking of my own kid, my 16 year old, and he's a goofy, silly, funny kid.

and I say goofy silly funny I love that about him I'm literally feeling this oh my god I'm so thankful I honestly am so thankful just know that that you know there's there's healing there's like no shame because like I said like this is just stuff yeah that has been passed on right like we were just talking about the different generations that have been saying this and we have just been you know, repurposing, rewashing, reusing. So there's no shame. And what I love about the love of God and all of this is that he's like, I'm just going to show you the truth, but are you willing to take it? And I think your heart, Jackie is in the right place where you're like, oh, wow. I'm just, you know, my eyes are coming open. I'm be, I'm mind blown about this,

but just know that there's no shame in the fact that you used it as a mom or that you allowed it you know to that you accepted it even there's like no shame in that there's different factors for sure but like you said the messaging like it's not just one route like it's everywhere like television and like when you think of cartoons that many times um the movies it's everything and that's what it takes to deceive the masses to believing one way or you know one that's how you get a whole multiple even generations to believe something about themselves and not come to their full potential of who God created them to be uh so that's the the deception kind of thing and I have an episode with my husband too where he kind of talks about how it happened for for both of our babies and how we already know what when they were in the womb we already knew what their um like what their purpose is and so now even as they're like my two-year-old well soon to be two-year-old we already see those things naturally unfolding in her and we're just like in awe we're just like what like oh my gosh there's just so much more we could talk about and i know it's later in the evening that we're recording this so we better wrap up but thank you so much i really believe this is such an important topic i felt the same way i would say this your heart like is so um humble because a lot of people that i have brought

this too like even just other people that I have requested kindly like hey she's not silly she's a cheerful baby like they'll be like they'll get so offended and even if I try to explain like oh my gosh it just blows over so I'll say you know you have a very humble heart and really only the people that can take it into that direction will do something and it'll it'll be powerful for them And so just know that the way you received it, like you're good ground, Jackie.

Thank you. Praise God. Yes, Miss Ellie. Praise God.

Amen. Amen. And I just want to share with everybody that Ellie's last episode, episode 137 of the Faith-Fueled Family, she talks about if you've ever been in distress, surrounded in fear, pray these Psalms out loud. Psalm 88, 80, 70, and 120.

Stay in faith. Do not put your shield of faith down. Stay in hope. Do not lose hope in the midst.

Keep loving even when you feel rejected. God bless you, Miss Ellie. This world was a better place because you were in it. And now I just know that you were one of our angels shining on us.

And all my love and prayers to your girls and your husband, your brother, and your family. Please know what an impact you made on me in the short time that we knew each other. Godspeed. Amen.

Thank you.