Parenting from a Place of Fear; Change it Up with Special Guest Joanne H. Light

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And today I have a special guest on who's going to help us to become the confident leaders Our kids crave us to be using what she calls the three pillars of parenting, teens and tweens. So welcome to the show, Joanne. Thank you. Thank you for having me, Jackie.

It's great to be here. Well, I'm excited to have you in our newest compilation book, No Problem Parenting, Raising Your Kiddos with More Confidence and Less Fear. And you are literally like the fear expert when it comes to parenting. And we're going to talk a little bit about that today.

more so focusing on emotional intelligence today and those three pillars but tell us how you decided to become a coach when you decided that this was really uh your your passion well that it's actually a more recent passion i always have had a passion for kids and i particularly love teenagers i started my career at teaching high school so i i was dealing with adolescents well was a long time ago but i was dealing with adolescents for a long time and they are totally misunderstood in my opinion and i think it's i just i love teens tweens are a little harder but they're great too and they're they're going to get there just be patient it's good if that part will pass and then they're going to become your wonderful teenagers and really that toddler that you miss and love all the time you say oh why doesn't he cuddle with me or read stories that is in there. I believe that that piece of your childhood memories of your bringing up your child are definitely packed in. But I did start out with high school teaching. I went back to graduate school and got a doctorate in counseling and education. And I wound up doing advising at a college and slowly worked my way up into administration. Now, being a manager is really messy business and I did it for a long time but my favorite part of it was always when the students when I got to work directly with the students and I did that for about 32 years and when I retired

because I didn't want to manage anymore I said I should look into coaching and I started out life coaching Jackie but I was doing too much career counseling and I had done that a lot so I needed a new challenge you got to keep the brain working so I have a passion for tweens and teens and decided I should coach parents because I know what it's like to have three teenagers and and I with all their issues I have three adult children each of whom has had his or her or their issues of with depression anxiety my middle daughter had an eating disorder so I've kind of seen the gamut of the struggles. And I think even now, today, I think parents are having a harder time, even then we had a hard time and finding help wasn't so easy. But today, just the addition of social media and the difficult world environment, I think makes it really even harder. How do you talk to your kids about war? How do you talk to your kids? I mean,

this is the 9-11 generation. And these kids have grown up with school shootings and so many issues that are kind of frightening. I mean, fear. I talk about fear a lot when I'm working with parents, and I get it. I understand why people are afraid. You know, it's a lot of sense.

We post a quote a day on our social media here at No Problem Parenting. And just recently, I suppose it was a few weeks back now, we posted a quote that said, we spend the first 12 months teaching our kids to walk and talk and the next 12 years teaching them to sit down and shut up. You know, and, and I think I just loved that quote because it's so true. And I mean, not, you know, I mean, it's in humor a little bit as well. Right. But it is true that as our kids get, you know, when they're younger, we're teaching them to, to try new things, to eat new foods, to, you know learn to be independent and all that stuff and then as they get older we start to pull the reins in because of a lot of times it's fear-based we're worried about them taking a risk or making a mistake or doing something that they'll regret later and with the addition like you said of social media it's really hard uh we're fearful of even giving our kids cell phones or access to social media or letting them you know have instagram or Facebook because what will they post and what will they see others posting and how will that reflect on them or you know all that stuff so let's get let's talk a little bit about emotional intelligence and what that means first of all before I even start asking my questions for you let's describe emotional intelligence for the listeners that don't know I think emotional intelligence largely is dealing with your emotions talking about your emotions and

learning how to control your own emotions so that your kids can learn to control theirs. It takes a lot of self-awareness, and a lot of people throw the terms around these days, but really it requires self-awareness and social awareness, knowing how to read people's cues, understanding what a facial expression or a tone of voice might mean, learning how to actively listen. I love, there's an acronym that I often use that comes from Mark Brackett, who wrote Permission to Feel. It's a wonderful book. He makes, he breaks lots of things down about emotional intelligence in the home, and he's very interested in the schools. But I think if you're a parent who can learn, and it's a skill you can learn, you can absolutely learn it, it's never too late.

but he talks about ruler r is for um recognizing emotions and some people it you have to learn how to do that are you really reading the clues the cues are you really reading between the lines and recognizing others emotions but most important are you recognizing your own and then understanding emotions and knowing that each emotion all emotions are is information. It gives you, when your kid behaves in a certain way, that's emotional information for you. You have to kind of dig under to really find what's going on. And L is labeling. And I think that's a hard one. You ask people, how are you? And they say, I'm fine. I'm okay. You know, I'm happy. I'm not so happy. But really labeling, there's a nuance, thousands of words that we could use for our emotions. Are you happy? Are you ecstatic? Are you unhappy? Are you disappointed?

Are you frustrated? Each has a slightly different piece to it. There's lots of nuance and there's thousands of words to describe our emotions and we have to develop that vocabulary because if you can develop that vocabulary, you really, I think, can better understand where you feel your emotions, what they are and it gives another person an opportunity and then it comes to E which is expressing and expressing your emotions and knowing the environment in which to do it when is the right time being able to hold back and not immediately explode understanding that when you express your emotions you have to be within context and it has to be the right place the right time. I know when I was growing up, my parents loved me. I knew there was a lot of love in our family, but we didn't talk so much about emotions. And I think it's a drawback. I think if you are comfortable having discussions about emotions and understanding where they might come from and allowing your children to express their emotions. So instead of when your kid comes to you and says oh I'm really I'm really having a test tomorrow that I'm not sure I'm prepared for and and instead of saying oh don't worry you can't be dismissive it'd be good if you could say gee that's that's hard I what what's the set what's the subject how much work have you put into it why are you feeling negative about it I mean have a discussion and talk about how

they really feel. Are they afraid? Are they worried about disappointing you? Are they worried about not getting the same grade as their friend? There's so much more to that can be discussed. Right. So that's R U L E and the final R of RULER is regulating. We want to teach our kids self-regulation and you have to model it.

Which is why I say emotional intelligence is valuable to parents in their parenting because if you can't regulate your own emotions and everything either makes you fly off the handle or withdraw jump right into punishment it it just is it's just not healthy for the it doesn't establish a relationship and people i think with emotional intelligence who model it for their children jackie i think are more apt to have uh resilient empathic and confident kids.

I love that so much. I love this RULER. I haven't heard of that acronym before. RULER, yeah, I love RULER.

Mark Brackett, he's at the Yale Emotional Intelligence Center. He runs, I think he established it and runs it. I haven't been on his sites too often, too lately, but he has what you call, he calls a mood meter. And it's the red and the green and the yellow and the blue and all these words that are emotions.

So when he goes into the schools, the kids, it's astonishing to hear the kids say, I'm feeling a little red today. I'm in the yellow zone today. So it's whether he does it according to high and low energy and high and low eddies at happiness, you know, the levels of being okay. I don't know, that's not the word he uses.

Right, right. No, that's cool. It's slipping my mind right now, but emotional intelligence, and it's in the news all the time now because everyone is talking about how employers and bosses and CEOs are now looking for people with emotional intelligence because they can then be a team member. and it's true for your kids when they go to school they can be a team member they can um be empathic they can um know how to listen because unless you know how to listen you know it you're not going to make a difference with conflict so it's it's a very powerful um skill people learn social relationships are better it just it's it's a great thing yeah it's it's teachable. You can practice. Right. And so it's not just about, oh, let me talk about my feelings.

And it's, you know, like you hear that you hear people say that, like, oh, great. They want to talk about their feelings. It's like a downer or something. Yeah. And it's really not about like, we're going to sit and have a counseling session every time, you know, we talk. It's not about that.

No, it's about really understanding where people are coming from and trying to understand how they are feeling, how you are feeling, and where is that coming from, you know? And what to do when you're reading somebody's body language. I love that you can help kids or help the parents to help their kids to read that body language, not just read it. Sometimes, I mean, kids are super intuitive. They'll pick up on things, but they don't necessarily know what to say or how to respond or how to interact. You know, they might see a kid getting picked on in school. They might see a kid that's just really not interacting with other kids and they'd be curious about that kid, but they don't really know how to go approach them or what to say.

You know, a lot of times as teens and tweens, we feel awkward. Yes, yes. So how does that feel? Where do you feel that awkwardness? Do you feel it in your throat? Do you feel it in your tummy?

Where do you feel that awkwardness and why do you think you feel it? You know, try to really figure out. So let's say a kid says, well, let's say a kid says, I feel it in my shoulders or I feel it like in my stomach. It just doesn't sit right with me. It doesn't feel right. What do you say to them or what do you do? Well, it's not that easy, but I think you first empathize with how they're feeling. I think is the first thing to say, oh, that must be uncomfortable. You know, you must be really uncomfortable. When did it start? You know, can you, let's do something to loosen up your shoulders because maybe it's stress. Do you feel like you're stressed about something or did something happen to make you uncomfortable? And you can keep asking, if you can keep asking open-ended questions. And one of the pillars of parenting is to be curious, I think. Just ask lots of questions. Just, it's so important not to judge or assume, but if you can get the kid to say,

hmm, yeah, you know, I do feel it in my shoulders. What does that mean? But they will start to ask themselves those kind of questions, and you feel awkward because you didn't do something, or you're afraid to do something. Whatever the reason may be, I think just being able to express it, and share that. I mean, if one kid would share that with another kid, can you imagine how the other child will feel? Yeah, I get that too. That happens to me when I'm scared about doing something. I think it just opens up lines of communication. And kids who are emotionally intelligent, who learn something about social and emotional intelligence, I think turn out to be more resilient and more of the leaders. So by asking the question, what do you say to the kid?

It's more kind of putting it back on them a little bit. For sure. And I love that in step three of no problem parenting, we talk about changing the conversation. And one of the ways we change the conversation with our kids is by being curious. You know, oftentimes you want to talk to your kids, especially your teens, and they don't really communicate well back. You know, they don't, I don't know. I don't care. I don't want to talk about it. So often I'll say, well, instead of asking just the direct question, you can say, I wonder if exactly you're feeling, you know, I noticed that I noticed that you were, you came home from school and just disappeared upstairs and I'm worried, you know, I'm wondering if you're okay. I'm wondering if you're, if you got something on your mind that you want to, you want to talk about, or, you know, or do you just,

I just want you to know I'm here if you need me. I think that's really important is to always, and I want every parent of every tween and teen to at some point during the day tell their child how much they love them. Because that's really what they, they want to be seen, they want to be heard, and they want to know that you're there no matter what. Like you're the, you have their back.

Whatever they do, you may not like what they did. Maybe they'll detest, you know. That's not the best thing. Okay, you know, that's not great, but I love you.

It has nothing to do with you and making, that's how they learn. I think making mistakes and the worst is, and this goes back to the fear thing, Jackie, is coming to the rescue no matter what. And that is when you're parenting from a place of fear, I've been there, done that, guilty as charged. But if there's such a strong, such a strong emotional kind of push in your brain to like, okay, how can I fix this? And then it leads to that ruminating thing that we do.

And I don't think we're helping, certainly not ourselves and not our kids. I mean, I know I was a pretty anxious parent to go and rescue you, the helicopter hovering that we do. I feel like that's a very normal, natural thing. And we're all going to do it some of the time, but we don't really do either ourselves or our kids a big favor by doing that because they have to learn how to problem solve. You can help them by asking questions on problem solving, but I think it's true even for little kids. You've got to let them express their emotions, and if crying gets it out and you can then talk about it later, great. But protecting them, I just so remember when my kids were growing up, parents would call another parent and say,

your child was mean to my child. I mean, give me, that's just insane. Your fear cannot be so totally immobilizing you. It's paralyzing. Fear is paralyzing. And well, and one of the things that, you know, speaking of the communicating with your teenagers, you know, and sometimes they don't want to talk. Sometimes you want to help and you don't know how, and they won't let you in.

often it's because, you know, like you learn a new technique, you learn a new skill, you learn a new way of communicating. You learn this way of being curious and saying, I wonder, or I noticed, but your kid's kind of looking at you, you know, like, where's this coming from? What's, what happened to you? And so sometimes I'll say to parents, you know, it's okay to talk to your kids and say, you know what? I, I'm thinking you're, you don't want to share with me. You You don't want to open up to me.

You don't want to tell me what's going on because usually I try to solve it for you or I try to tell you what to do. I think I know all the answers. And that's good thinking. Yeah.

Yeah. And so just saying, like outing yourself to them and saying, I probably haven't done the best job of communicating with you or talking with you. And I haven't left the door open. So why, you know, I'm thinking, why would you want to talk to me?

I'd like to change that. And I'd like to have the opportunity to do it different. And I'm wondering if you'd be open to that. And, you know, parents don't think that. And it's like, we don't think to say that to our kids.

No, it's not a normal, your natural thing is to say, oh my God, what are we going to do? And that only makes them feel like they're incompetent, you know, that you don't think they can figure it out. Sometimes they just want to vent. That's a different end of it. They either don't want to talk or they just want to vent.

and once they start venting you've got to resist jumping in because that's a time take advantage of it you know listen and reflect back to them what you hear them saying instead of just offering advice at the end of a conversation you might say just like you said Jackie well would you like some help with that is there anything I can do I'm here for you I mean those are not we haven't and you know we haven't really been taught to be that kind of parent and a lot of it is generate i say a lot of it is you were brought up a certain way you learn certain things and without even thinking you replicate it you can't help yourself at times so right what i want to say to you about emotional intelligence is that it takes practice so your response that you just came up with for your parents that you see is is a great response but it takes time to get there and be patient with yourself because the first time you try it might not work so walk away take a deep breath and do it again the next day you know leave them a text i love you it was great talking today you know whatever it is but some of our instincts to protect and be sure nothing bad will ever happen it is unrealistic and not really helpful in the right and we don't want to we want to protect our kids keep them safe all that of course but we don't want to rob them of the opportunity of learning from the mistake and i love that you say when we rescue our kids when we do all the

work and solve all the problems and protect and hover we're actually robbing them of that ability to feel confident and capable and competent yes to you know rise up yeah she doesn't think i can do it i and then they get used to that and so they'll come to you with their science project and say i i can't figure out how to do this last piece will you do it do you know what i mean you rescued them from when they were little really in so many ways um of course safety and morality in in my mind, are big boundaries. So you don't, you know, you can't let those things go.

Right. But sometimes we can turn something into a safety issue that really isn't. We can create it, you know, we can think, oh, this is a safety risk. I've got to jump in. I've got to step in.

Something is pushing you. You can't, it's like you can't turn the switch. Right. We want to rescue our kids from feeling sad, from feeling bad, from feeling embarrassed, from hurting from, you know, all those things. And, and we really were robbing them of that ability to, to, to understand and to know, and to feel that they are capable of dealing with and overcoming the challenges they face, you know, that they don't, because we're not always going to be there. You know, one of the things that I was thinking of, as you were talking before is, and again, we posted this as a, as a quote on, on our social media, but a mom had shared with me one time that, you know, she was worried about her teenager and, you know, she was isolating in her room a lot. She wasn't really very, you know, interactive with the family, just kind of down in the dumps, 15 years old. And, and so she would ask regularly, you know, you know,

is there anything wrong? You know, are you, are you telling me, yeah, are you okay? I feel like there's something wrong. And one day the teenager finally said, you know, I never think anything's wrong with me until you tell me something's wrong with me. And this mom was so awesome. She said, you know what? Nuff said, thank you. Right. Because sometimes we're creating this problem, you know, problem in our head and we're making it into this big mountain. And really the kiddo, they're going through puberty. They're going through, you know, kind of figuring out and learning where they fit in. And sometimes they're just tired when they get home and they just want be bored and they want to check out and they want to be good that's really good yeah yeah for sure we've done a couple episodes about that too how boredom is boredom is so good um you know it's great to have all the structure activities and i think we over scheduled yeah we do and then we call it the crazy train we hop on that crazy thing i know it i kind of call it the sometime the three c's although i really think i should talk about four c's because curiosity should be yeah i noticed that curiosity was almost like an that's a bonus but i think you can be curious in the connection and the communication part right and it's all right and it's all related and when we are a fearful kind of parent and we you know parent from fear we don't trust and i think the only way to

build trust the foundation for trust of you trusting your kid your kid trusting you and And you trusting yourself is by connection. And connection is that they know, I feel, if a child knows that he or she, or they, are loved no matter what, and they really feel that, I think that you can just trust that your kid has watched you, they know what your values are, you've modeled talking about your emotions and learned how to regulate your emotions, they're going to be okay.

And when, like the mother you just described, when her daughter does need something from her, she'll ask. You have to trust that when they need you to fix something for them or help them fix something. I think if you've built this connection from when they're really young, that they'll ask. And I think parents worry that, yeah, I had this great relationship and now it's not going so well.

That's okay. You can repair and restore. Just remember, just as you were describing to this month, you can apologize to your kids. You know, gee, I'm sorry I asked you that question.

It was unnecessary and it just led to a whole tumult that we didn't need to have. And I even suggest saying things like, I'm sorry, exactly how you just said it. And then say, I was parenting or I was talking to you out of fear. I need to work on that.

I know you are competent and capable of getting through this and I don't need to get in the way. You know, just like literally naming what you're feeling or what you're thinking or what you think your kid is thinking. The emotional intelligence there. There's the labeling. It's really helps if you can use the right words.

It kind of leads you to a better understanding. Exactly. You're exactly right. Right. So, so much of parenting is, is leading and teaching and modeling and all that. But as they get into those teen years, that's when you get to back off and let the kids show what they've learned, experience, you know, all of that.

Plus, you're modeling then. That's modeling because they're going to look at you and say, oh, you know, that's, they've noticed that you're backing off or that you're apologizing. That's big. Our teenagers, I mean, people think, oh, my teen doesn't love me anymore.

They don't need me anymore. But I think tween and teen years, I don't know how about you, Jackie are the, they, they need you the most. Then when they talk to you, the least, maybe they need you the most. It's just, it's something about the compassionate you that, that they know is there. So they're going to screw up. They're going to screw up. There's no question about it.

And wouldn't you rather have them make those mistakes while you're still around? I, it just, it all fits into place, but it's, and I know parents are going to say, oh yeah, it sounds good, but it's a whole lot harder to do. And it is. And it certainly can be because our heartstrings get tugged. We noticed, we recognize that we've only got a few years left with our kids under our roof, you know? And, and it, and it is, I mean, there's some grief that comes along as your teenagers grow. That's your own stuff though. That's where you need to check in with somebody. You need to have a good friend, a coach, therapist, depending, right. It isn't about you.

It starts with you. I always say, you know, it starts with you. Think about what it was like when you were in seventh grade, you know. Well, and, you know, the other thing is the older they get, if we're still directing their every move and we're still putting consequences on things and taking technology away and grounding them.

Why would you want to ground your child? You're unhappy with them. They're irritating you. They're driving you nuts.

They've done something wrong. And now you want to be around them full time by grounding them in your home. Are you crazy? You know, no. But and again, just a little humor there. Yeah. Honestly, the more strict you are as your kids grow, the more problems you are going to have.

Right. You need a balance. You need boundaries. I believe in boundaries, but I don't believe in that sort of, not ignoring, but the non-invasive, non-involved parent. I don't think that necessarily, some kids can grow up and be great in that, turn out all right.

But if it's, you know, authoritarian just doesn't work. And maybe you were parented that way. Your father said to you or your mother said to you or your aunt said to you. And when you asked why, they said, because I said so.

Because that's the way it is. And just do it. Those were just a dismissive, fear-provoking thing. And I think a lot of, I remember getting to college and meeting young people who, that was what they were used to.

And they weren't very happy. And they weren't feeling challenged or adjusted very well. They felt, they were mean, you know. You're modeling nastiness.

You're modeling dismissiveness. That's not modeling compassion and communication, really. Absolutely. Oh, I think that's absolutely right.

And I think, too, that the more strict and the more we demand respect, you know, parents will come and they'll say, oh, I would have never done that with my parents. I would have never said that to my parents. I'd have been in so much trouble or I would have this, I would have that. I get that.

And that was then. And this is now. So now you're in a situation where your child is talking back to you, doesn't care. Why is that?

What's going on? Well, I think some of that is our culture. And some of that because the kids are exposed to so much more so much earlier. They have what their friends are doing.

And I think because it's just a different generation. I think as parents, we are learning. Maybe we didn't know, but we are learning that that doesn't necessarily solve the situation. And if your kid feels, Jackie, if your kid feels that the only time you really pay attention to them is when they mess up, then why not mess up? They want the attention. You know, they may, you may think they don't think you're, you're watching or that you care or that you're upset by something, but they really.

And if they don't have any control over anything, they're going to resist. They're going to start fighting for that control and they're going to start one-upping you and they're, you know, going to challenge and challenge and challenge. So you become a controlling, you know, it controlling is dealing is parenting from fear if you need to have total control over everything then you have there's not a lot of trust right it doesn't i i just feel like in the long run it doesn't work in the short run it may be easier but it just breeds anxiety and yeah so for all the parents out there listening who are trying to control their teenagers demand respect they're super strict your rules are so you know so tough that you know your kid is defying all those are you know uh just not telling you what they're doing yeah they become sneakier right they have to become sneakier because again a little more there's the trust isn't there and then they they yeah they line if that's your situation right now take a good look at yourself and your fear absolutely um i i like to say the fear is the villain your fear is your worst enemy and trust is can be your friend yeah and then what are you doing with that fear once you recognize the fear what are you afraid of are you afraid your child's you know not going to go to college not going to turn out well not going to have good friends not going to make good decisions all those

kinds of things are you winners are anxiety that is based either on the past or the future it has nothing to do with what's going on right now so i suggest to parents sometimes that they what is the evidence you have that they're not going to go to college. What makes you think that to be the case? So sometimes you have to look at yourself and say, that's really stupid. I don't know why I'm doing that. Why am I going through all those what ifs? What if, what if, what if, what if? And why is it more important to you that your child goes to college than your child? And so then is that...

About you? About you or... Your expectations. You got to get rid of the ego. It's very hard.

But remember, you're the adult with the prefrontal cortex that's fully developed, whereas your child is not there yet. So don't make it about you. They need to make connections and be ready to do it and do the hard work. Restore them when they're broken.

I think connection and trust are the most important things. Build them up, though, right, in the process. Not about you telling them what to do and what you see their future looking like and all that. but really building them up and with, and I talk about this too, in step three and change the conversation, the difference between unconditional and conditional positives. Don't just build them up with these, you know, unconditional phrases like you're capable, you're great. You're the best. You're so good at this, that, or the other, give them some conditional positives or praise, tell them the facts of why you believe that so that they can then, oh, that's true. Okay. I can believe that where it's not true i'm not the best at this or something yeah right that's authenticity i agree i agree yeah yeah so the three pillars connection communication and compassion and again we're throwing curious in there which really being curious helps the coming helps the communication and the compassion the one component of compassion that i don't think i mentioned jackie is for yourself you really need to have some self-compassion because treat yourself the way you treat a friend that you really care about because sometimes we get lost in all this muddle and anxiety and fear and worry and you just you can't do it anymore you're going to get burnt out it's you need to love yourself as well yeah that's that brings up an uh another

thought uh i had a guest on reverend betsy scott and she's actually going to be in the compilation book as well but she talks about that this falls right into compassion for self do some things that feed you. Don't make everything, your whole world about your children. Yes, they're priority. Yes, they matter so much. And filling your cup is so important. And Reverend Scott talks about how whatever you need to do, do something that makes you happy. And they want you to be happy. I think they do. When you take care of yourself and go out for a night or do something with your friends, that's again modeling they know that you got to take care of yourself you know you you can't just do for others and try to make everyone happy that was a piece of management that I always found was hard I was always trying to keep everyone happy you can't your kids are not going to all be happy all the time it's just not going to happen right so you have to take a step back so Joanne you primarily work with parents but you also work with teams parents well if a parent wants me to sit with their team or have a team join in i will do that but i generally you know it starts with you i feel like parents are are my target market yeah as much as i love working with the teenagers and communicating with them and talking with them i really and i your this uh our our approaches are the same um my my favorite thing to do is to help parents to help their children because there's so

much more that we can do as parents outside of therapy outside of the school counselor outside of yeah there's a lot you know it gives you some sense of other other strategies just like you said you know ways to to talk to them and be with them and as i always say our kids crave our leadership it doesn't always feel like that in the moment no no not at all but it is true they They want us to be able to support them.

They want to communicate with us. They want us to be a part of their lives. It just looks a whole lot different as they get older. But it's there.

I feel like it's there. Yeah, absolutely. All right. So how can people get in touch with you?

My website and on the website, there's a way to go to my free gift, which is five tips for overcoming parent burnout. Because when we don't do some of the things you and I've been talking about, it's really lazy to truly get burnt out. I really believe burnout is a real thing. It's not just an over reacting parent. It is real and it can get to stages where it's terrible. You become withdrawn.

You don't even care about your kids anymore. You just can't deal. So I think there's things people can do to, many of which we've talked about today, is to not let yourself get burnt out. if anyone has a group that they'd like me to talk to about any of these topics i'm happy to do it i love to do that oh that's awesome website you know it gives more information so if you're feeling burned out as a parent if you're feeling like you're parenting from a place of fear and fear is constantly getting in the way you're up at night wondering worrying yep all that kind of stuff reach out to joanne you're just you're gonna love her it's like when you and i first met which and all that long ago.

I just, I felt like you're an old friend right away. You're just so relatable and real. And I just appreciate your work and all that you're doing. Well, thank you.

I appreciate just having the opportunity to talk to people. I mean, that's what I care about the most is just sharing. Thank you. Well, thank you, Ms. Joanne Light.

Parents, go check her out at her website, joannelight.com. I have the link in the show notes for you. And be sure to check out her chapter, consequences from parenting from a place of fear let's change it up this is her chapter in our compilation book no problem parenting raising your kiddos with more confidence and less fear be sure to save the date september 20th 2022 there's a link for that in the show notes as well you can log in and you can get that book absolutely free on september 20th 2022 only all right you can join our book launch event where we're going to have all 21 authors at the event and they're going to share a little bit about themselves and read an excerpt from their chapter. Save the date,

September 20th, 2022. Link in the show notes to register. Thanks for listening today and be sure to tune in for our next episode where you're going to meet another one of our authors, Ms. Maddie Murray-Tegels. Thank you for tuning in to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Join Jackie next time for more tips, tools, and resources that will help you become the confident leader your kids crave you to be. Who do you know that we could support on their parenting journey?

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