Break the Silence; Empowering our Kids to Speak Up & Communicate with Ease with Special Guest Jackie Bailey

Welcome to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Turn behavior problems into no problem with Jackie Finneman. Are you ready to become the confident leader your kids crave you to be? Do you want to learn how to make parenting easier and more fulfilling?

Whether you are at your wits end or you want to have more fun as a parent, you're definitely in the right place. Now here's your host, Jackie Fineman. Hey, welcome back, No Problem Parents. We are on a role of bringing guests to you to help you help your kids become confident.

And so we've done confidence through play and movement. We've done confidence and through situational awareness. And today we're going to do confidence in communication, breaking the silence, empowering our kids to speak up without the fear of being judged and to be able to communicate with ease. And my super special guest who has been very patient as she waited for me to get this episode edited. I had quite a bit of tech problems that day and did not want to scrap the interview and do it over because it was so good. So it just took a little bit longer to edit. But my guest today is Jackie Bailey, who runs the Speak Feed Lead public speaking studio in Redmond, Washington.

And she is the founder and executive director of the Speak Feed Lead project, which is a nonprofit with a mission to empower children, teens, and adults with public speaking skills. Jackie is the author of Self-Centered Leadership, Becoming Influential, Intentional, and Exceptional, which was published in 2014. And she's a 2015 semi-finalist in the World Championship of Public speaking that placed her in the top 98 speakers of 33,000 competitors. Today, Jackie is known as the conversation coach for kids. And I'm not kidding you, you guys, she's amazing. I actually recently was just a part of a women's summit and Jackie actually had a few of her students that participated in that women's summit. They were ages, I think 10 to maybe 16 or something like that. These kids were incredible. From voiceless victim to master of message, the presentation in which Jackie shares her own survival and triumph story over childhood sexual abuse by using her voice and discovering her value. Today, she's going to get into the subject of how we need to help our kids find their voice so they aren't worried to speak up.

And just to build the confidence that they understand that they have value in their voice and the right to be heard. And parents, you're an integral part of helping your kids feel empowered to speak up without the fear of being judged. So without further ado, welcome Miss Jackie Bailey to the show. You and I connected a little while back. You are known as the conversation coach for kids. And so why don't we get started by having you kind of go into your why and why you became known as the conversation coach for kids? I'd love to. Thank you, Jackie. And I think the reason that we connected so well is because we have great names, right? For sure. Yours is just phonetically sound, right? You've got the K in there and I don't. That's right. Well, I appreciate being here and I always enjoy an opportunity to talk about why I do what I do and even how I got the title of Conversation Coach for Kids. It was as a child myself that I was silenced because I lived in a home where I suffered from abuse on a chronic, almost daily basis. And it was from an older sibling. And my parents were not happily married either. And in the midst of all of that happening,

they divorced and then they both married. And there wasn't opportunity for me to really have anyone to talk to. I never felt that I could actually talk about what was happening to me. In fact, I was told by the abuser not to tell, both literally, and it was highly understood, right, that I would not tell. And so not only was it, it put me in a position where I was unable to really confide in my parents about what was happening, but it changed who I was socially as well, even outside of the family, because I was always afraid I might say something I wasn't supposed to. And so I held back. I never initiated conversations and I would basically answer questions without giving any additional information. Because like I said, I thought,

well, what will happen to me if I do tell too much? What's going to happen to me? So there was always that fear. And then later on, it was just shame because I knew that I wasn't measuring up. And I started to blame myself for what was happening and powerless to change it.

And it wasn't until I was an adult woman, married children of my own, when that sibling then had a child. And I had never told. I'd kept the silence all those years and coped as best I could. I was certainly not a person who had a lot of confidence in myself, but I was also a really good actress, I think.

And so when this next child was put into a position where she actually was a baby girl could be abused in the same way I had been. I had an enormous weight on me to choose to either continue to keep the silence and not let anybody know how really ugly I was, which is the way I felt, or to break the silence and perhaps at least make people aware of the danger this other child is in. and now when I say it it seems kind of like well yeah duh you need to break the silence but it was I was in a position where I thought what if I'm not believed what if people think I'm crazy and my husband doesn't want to be married to me to me anymore what if they try to take my kids away from me because I'm this crazy person and there so there was a lot at risk that I had Besides, like I said, that self-hatred and the shame that I felt about it all anyway.

But I finally decided that I loved my own children more than I hated myself. Because if I went to my grave through suicide and no one knew, then who would protect my own kids? So that was the decision I made was it was time to break the silence. And it was the first time in my life that I used my voice to actually make a difference in the life of somebody else.

And that was when I realized that I had something to say. Even as a young person in the throes of abuse, I had the ability to speak out and say something worth hearing. I didn't do it, but I realized my whole life I have been suppressed and held back from perhaps my greatest superpower, which was my voice, and that from then on I needed to use my voice for good and to share my unique story and my message so that other people recognize the power of their own voice.

And that's when I, you know, it was years later after I'd actually used my voice again to face that sibling and say, I forgive you. Again, changing not only my life, but his as well. I didn't realize I held the key to his prison. But when I released him from that through those three magical words, it changed everybody's life at that point.

And again, it was through my voice that I did that. and it was that at that point when I realized I need to help other kids who are feeling silenced not all of them are in abusive homes like I was but for many many reasons children feel silenced and I and I want to make sure that all children understand that no matter how young they are they have something worth hearing to say and when parents understand that then they'll be more listening happening in families and creating more joy all around. So that's why I do what I do.

And I start with the basics of conversation. I teach kids how to have a conversation and how to ask questions and how to actively listen. And that brings the confidence in their speaking skills to expand to greater opportunities. This is just all absolutely amazing. And as a 20-year counselor turned parenting coach and now for 30 years doing this, I have so many questions about all of the history with that, but we're not going to focus on that part today.

We're going to focus on this amazing outcome and the solution that you've created, which has really helped you in your adult life, but now you're helping, helping kids again. And I love that you say it's, it doesn't, you don't have to have been abused or even threatened or anything like that. This is finding your voice as a child, as a teenager is it's, it's really key. And, And it's very important, but sometimes even as parents, we don't know that we're silencing our kids.

We don't know. We have absolutely no intention of silencing our kids. So as parents, how can we kind of pick up on, you know, when, when we say things like, oh, our kids just don't talk to me. They won't tell me how, you know, their day was at school.

They don't want to share anything with me. Let's get into some of those ways that we can help be approachable and, and help engage our kiddos. And I think today we're going to talk about those five rules of effective conversation that you teach to kids. And I think it's important that you share that with us because parents can be teaching this to their kids, right?

Absolutely. And, you know, I've seen even when just the children are learning these skills, they go home and they have different kinds of conversations with their family members and it changes the dynamic of the family. when the child, even the child alone begins to institute that, it makes a change in the entire family because they are more confident and they know that they have something to contribute to the family by way of conversation and asking right questions to involve their parents in more of their lives. And so that's the exciting part that I hear as they come back to class and they say, oh my goodness, I had this really great conversation with my mom. We laughed so much.

And I learned about what she was like in high school and who were her best friends. And it was fun to see my mom in a whole different light. Those are the types of comments I hear from my students. And that's just got to fill you up. Oh, it does. And you know, when I realized that that's not the way it usually is, it's a little bit sad because here we are living in a house full of people that we're related to, but we don't know each other very well because of the lack of conversation. It's, I think as parents, we, we lay down the rules and we say, this is what your schedule looks like. When you get home from school, you need to do this, this, and this, you're going to be here. You got to be there. And unfortunately, because we are so busy ourselves,

we don't take the time to actually ask the right questions to our kids to get the information we're looking for. Well, so this is so great by the end of our conversation today, I'm going to be sharing links and how parents can get their kiddos signed up for some of your group coaching classes, right? You do the speak feed lead classes for kids ages. We start at age 10 or typically fourth grade all the way up through high school and into college young adults as well. Let's get into these five things, these five rules. And maybe we'll go through them one through five. I'm not or I'll let you lead the way with that.

Okay, no problem. A lot of the cues that I take in this curriculum that I've developed is from Dale Carnegie, who wrote a revolutionary communication book called How to Win Friends, Influence People. This was back in, I believe in 1930s or 40s. And he wrote this book for salespeople to help them to connect and engage with potential clients.

and yet what he talks about is so powerful just in building the relationships as he says win friends and influence people and I use a lot of what he teaches to develop the curriculum we have for kids so the first step is based on a quote from Dale Carnegie who says a person's name is the sweetest word in any language. And so the first step is to address the person you want to talk to by their name. And that gives them a sense of being acknowledged, being valued, and that you know their name, they know, you know who they are, and that gives them a sense of purpose and worth, right? So rather than go, you know, who broke the lamp? Maybe you want to say, Jeffrey, do you know how the lamp got broken? And use a name so that everyone in the house knows who you're directing that question to. And starting a conversation by using the person's name,

if you know it, is a really powerful way to get the attention of the person that you want attention of, right? So that's the first step. I like that. And I think that's, it takes out the passive aggressiveness in parenting, right? That's just the first thing that comes to my mind when you say rather than who, especially if you know, you know, one of the things I teach at No Problem Parenting is don't ask your, if you know your child lied or did something, don't ask them if they did it because nine times out of 10, they're not going to tell you. Right. So we need to be just coming to them and saying, I see you broke the lamp. If you actually, in fact, saw that, you know, I see, but name it now you're saying, but let's put a name to that. So this is, this is,

this is awesome. And the reason I do that is because if your child has done it and they're afraid to tell you, and then you ask them, now you're setting them up to lie because they're afraid to tell you, we don't want our, we don't want to be setting our kids up to lie. It takes me back to those days when I've housebroken puppies, right? You have to, any trainer will tell you, you've got to set the environment for them to be successful.

Because if you set an environment for them to fail, they're going to fail. And then it's going to be the child's fault or the puppy's fault, right? When it really is your fault because you didn't provide situations so that that child would be successful. So yes, don't ask the question to a child that you already know the answer to if you and then expect them to actually tell you the truth, especially if you go about it in a judgmental way. Okay. Rule number two, eye contact. We live in a society now where especially the kids that are growing up, they've known nothing but computers. They've been on screens, they communicate with their thumbs and they're sometimes sadly their self-worth is measured by how many likes or comments they get on social media, right?

And so they have to try to engage in bigger and more exciting ways in order to compete with all the other people who are getting all these comments and shares and whatnot. And so with that, we've lost the real art of just talking to people face-to-face. In fact, when I was having in-person classes with students, I would ask them to look at another student, make eye contact and I would time them to see how long they could do it.

And I think 30 seconds might've been the record because they feel so awkward and they start to just laugh and get silly because they feel uncomfortable looking at somebody. Right. So that is the second rule is making eye contact with that person. And I don't suggest that they have a staring contest with them or make someone feel uncomfortable.

But when you're talking with someone, but you're looking behind them or beyond them or over at something else, especially your phone, whatever's coming out of their mouth, they know is not being heard. And then they begin to form this idea that what I have to say doesn't matter. It's not worth being attentive when I say it. Mom's just going to keep working on her phone while I'm trying to ask her this question or talk to her.

and they learn quickly that you're really not willing to listen to them. So by making eye contact with your child while you're talking with them and be fully present and engaged, will give them that self-worth that they need, that they're looking for. So that is rule number two. And it's a really good point. I mean, before technology, we didn't have the issue of looking down at our phones as parents, right? However, it was still an issue before technology that parents and kids weren't making eye contact. So now it's like extra important because we have another distraction that we didn't use to have. Right. It does boost confidence when you are looking at each other. And who said it? The eyes are the window to the soul. And I teach that quite a bit. And when I teach snuggle time, even with teenagers, snuggle time with teenagers,

teenagers, that's a whole nother subject, but getting our kids, you can sit by them. You can snuggle them up. You can put your arm around them and actually look at their face, look into their eyes. And we forget that something so simple can be so powerful and empowering. So I love that.

When you think about your own experiences, having conversations with people, and this has happened to me, and I'm sure it's happened to most of us, if not all. Someone asks you a question and you begin to answer the question, but they're looking at what's going on behind you, or they're looking at their watch or they keep looking at the door for somebody else to come in and you're feeling like, why am I even talking?

You're not listening to me. I could just start rambling about anything extraordinarily weird and you wouldn't even notice what I was saying. And gosh, we do that with our kids so many times because I know you're busy as parents. You know, now that I'm a grandmother, I look back on my parenting and I realized that I didn't, I wasn't present with my kids because I had to worry about the job. I had to worry about making sure the bills were paid. I had to worry about getting dinner done, dishes washed, homework assigned, you know, all that kind of stuff that I was always thinking about as a young mother. And I know that's hard on parents, probably even worse today than it was then. Now as a grandmother, I have the pleasure of when I'm with my grandkids, I don't care what else is going on in the world. I'm present with them. I'm there with them because all those other things I know just don't matter in this moment. And I think if parents could be more present with their kids, it would make a tremendous difference in the relationships they have with their kids.

Yeah, absolutely. And I, and I hear that from other grandmothers as well, that you could be present now. And I think that that's great. And it's also because you don't have all those things you had as a parent had to worry about the schedule and the bills and the, you know, laundry and just all the things. So, so I often will say to my parents, my clients to stop shooting on yourself. It doesn't help to shoot on yourself. You know, when you know that you haven't been available, however, in those moments, you think about it and notice it and recognize it, do something about it. There's still time to, to be able to go over and say, you know what, you were talking to me earlier and I was looking at my phone. I wasn't stopping. I wasn't pausing to take a minute to actually acknowledge you. And I'm sorry about that. Do you have time for me to listen now? Let's do this again. And it's okay to have redos and to start again. And it's okay if your, if your child comes to you at an inconvenient time and asks you a question, if it's a question that you can get back to, it's okay to say, you know, Jimmy, I can't talk about that just this minute. If you give me another five minutes to finish this phone call, then I'll sit down with you and we'll go over that. It's kids understand that, but to, to try to do it in the moment and do it half-heartedly, that's more damaging than putting them off for a few more minutes and then

actually engaging with them fully. So I'm not here to judge any parents at all, or to say that you're all doing it wrong. I just, it's important. I think that you're aware that children are downloading information from you all the time and everything is forming their personality and the lessons learned and their value system and what they think about relationships and everything is being downloaded and they can't then they won't say well that's not true they can't spit anything out everything that's downloaded and input it is true for them right now it's just the way it is because that's becomes their reality so it's important that we're helping them to input information that is helpful and that is encouraging and kind.

And if it just takes two or three minutes to look at your child and have a conversation, answer a question or something, have a few laughs and then get back to your work, that is so valuable and will really make a difference in your family. So rule number three of the five rules of effective conversation is to ask questions. Now, this is another area where I think parents sometimes ask questions in the wrong way and children learn really quickly that that question doesn't intend to have a real answer to it. For instance, when they come home from school and parents will say, how was your day? Kids now have been conditioned to say, fine, whatever, you know, or they just grunt, right? And I think it's because in the past, when they have been asked that question and they've started to talk about it, the parent tunes out or they reply,

you did what? Why didn't you eat your lunch? I fixed that for you. You didn't eat it.

And they make comments like that before they get the full story of the fact that somebody else needed a lunch, maybe another student needed lunch. And so your child gave them their lunch. And without listening to the rest of that story, you make this judgment call and you belittle the child. So they begin to, through experience, say, I'm not going to answer that question. I'll just say, fine, because I don't want to get into this whole thing where I'm going to be judged for what I did all day long. And I'm not saying that happens all the time, but this is what my students tell me.

So I'm just feeding you information based on what my students have said. And the better questions then to ask rather than how was your day, which is pretty open-ended, and the child is likely not going to give you a real response because they've been conditioned not to, is to say, hey, tell me about the best part of your day today. Tell me about the best part of your day. And that means that your child is going to need to listen or they're going to think for a second.

and then they might tell you, oh, the best part was whatever, getting a B on my math test or whatever it was. And that was an improvement over the C they got the last time. Okay. So ask them then why was that the best? Why was that the best thing? You know, and don't judge that they got a B instead of an A, you know what I'm saying? So asking follow-up questions then is is really important. But ask the questions that will cause your child to think and shake it up a bit so it's not the preconditioned questions they always get. But it's got to be sincere. Once you ask it, you got to keep the eye contact, not look down at your phone. You need to be listening for the answer, which is rule number four, listen. And you're not just listening to listen. You're listening for very specific keywords, I tell my students. Because whatever comes out of the mouth for that person you just asked the question of. They're going to say something that you can use to repeat back to them in your response that helps them know they were just heard. For instance,

if Jimmy says, best part of my day was I got a B on my math test. Now there's a couple of keywords that you could pick out of there. And I usually tell my students, you look for nouns or you look for emotions. Okay. So we got a B on a math test. Those would be keywords that might pop out for me if I were listening to this reply. And I might say, how is math or why do you get so excited about a B in math? Is that better than what you did before? Or how is your math teacher?

What does that B mean for you? How exciting that is. Something like that. So you use words that they've used to respond back to them. So it's not just the basic listening, but it's listening for key words that you can use to reply back to them. And when you use those same words they've used, like I said, they recognize you actually heard them. Whoa, novel idea. My mom actually heard what I said and she didn't go into judgmental mode and ask me why I only got a B. She's asking me why is B so fun? You know, tell me about what that B means to you. How many other kids in the class.be's or whatever. I mean, take it any direction, but try not to be judgmental about what your child just said. So that's rule number four. So we've got address by name, make eye contact, ask questions. Four is listen for keywords. And the fifth rule, which isn't necessarily a rule,

but it is, it's a mantra. We all need to say all the time in any situation, not just conversation, but anytime, which is, it's not about you. Rule number five is it's not about you. I absolutely got to interrupt you. I absolutely love that.

I tell my students all the time that when you are talking to someone, they are your focus. They are the person who needs to feel loved and valued at that moment. It's not you. Even if you have something really exciting you want to share, hold back and look for the opportunity when you'll get asked a question that you can share. But in the meantime, it's all about that person. Going back to Dale Carnegie, he shared a little story about how much he really loved to fish, but he also really loved strawberries and cream.

And he said, if I were to go fishing and put strawberries and cream on the hook, I would not catch any fish because they like worms and grasshoppers and beetles and things like that. He said, so if I use the bait that I like, I'm not going to catch any fish. I have to use the bait that they like in order to catch them. And of course, I'm not suggesting that people are fish that we're trying to catch.

But there's a lesson there in friendship is that if you want to make more friends, you've got to stop finding ways for people to be interested in you, and you've got to be interested in them. Because Dale Carnegie also said you could spend two years trying to get people interested in you, but you'll make more friends in two months if you just find more interest in other people. And so that's why students need to know that when they're the new kid in school, if they wait for people to come talk to them, it might not happen.

But they need to be confident in these conversation skills so that they can initiate conversations with those right questions. Hey, I really like your shoes. Where did you get those? Or that backpack totally rocks.

You know, where did you get it? Or where can I get one like it? Or something like that. those types of questions that initiate conversations are what's going to build friendships, reminding them that it's not about you. It's about the other person. So those are the five rules of effective conversation that I teach my students. And they come back. I've had students come back and go, oh my goodness, I made three new friends this week just by asking questions, people and starting conversations with them. And like I told you before, they'll come back and say me and my mom had the best conversation we've had in a long time. And we just laughed a lot because I use these skills. And that's why I can guarantee that when they learn these skills,

they're going to change the dynamic of your home because it's going to reflect on you. Cause it's not about, it's not about them anymore. It's about you. When they're talking to you, they want to find out about you and they're not waiting for you to go, Oh, you're such a good boy or whatever. They've learned that when they're talking to mom, it's about mom. It's about mom that changes everything, right? This is so great. So I love that you share these five with us as you know, my most, most of my audience are parents, but parents have your kids listen to this and see if they're interested. You can find the Speak Feed Lead website. I'll have the link in there and you can register them, sign them up for one of these group coaching classes.

Yeah, we are the Speak Feed Lead Project and is not only the name of our nonprofit organization, but it is also a definition of the curriculum structure we have because our mission is to transform children and adults to speak with power, to feed others in word and deed, and to lead with positive influence. And speak, feed, lead are the three areas of focus in our curriculum. Not only are we teaching children to speak and those conversation skills and speaking skills, improvisation skills, and motivational type speaking, TED Talks, whatever, but they're also learning to use proper words to feed each other and to feed each other through that it's not about you situation or process or mindset that everybody has a story and by only by being curious and asking questions will we learn the story of another individual and empathy is also ingrained in all of that because our students are learning that not only can they share their stories, but they're listening for the stories of other people. So that's where the feed comes in.

And the lead is the leadership aspect of everything we do, because not only are they learning skills themselves, but they're learning how to provide feedback to their fellow students. How could you have said that more powerfully? I really liked the way you crafted that character in your story, what if you had a second carrier? So they would give, they're learning to give feedback, which is really powerful and helpful in any area of life to learn how to provide positive feedback. And then in a loving, kind way, feedback as by way of suggestion that would help someone to be more powerfully able to deliver their message. So we start with grades four and five. They have their own classes and they're an hour every week. We have a grade six to eight, so the middle school or junior high group, and they meet for 90 minutes each week. And then we have a grades nine through 12 curriculum as well. And they are at 90 minutes per week. And the middle school and high school kids, not only do we all focus on conversation for that first unit of actually 12 units, by the way,

They're eight weeks long, and there's 12 units of eight weeks. So your child could essentially be with us for a three-year period of time if they continue with each unit. But as we focus on conversation for that first unit, the middle school and high school kids will develop a podcast as part of expanding their conversation skills. They will determine what is a subject matter I enjoy talking about or I enjoy reading about.

and they will decide what that focus is going to be. And then they will decide who's an expert on that particular subject that they would like to maybe have a conversation with, right? We work through who that would be. We do a little research about that person so they can craft then a very professional invitation.

It could be sent via email, social media, phone call, whatever they decide, but we help them to craft using those correct verbiage, the correct, the feed portion of our program to initiate this conversation and ask this potential guests to come into our classroom on the last day of those first units to be part of their podcast. And they have this podcast outline. They name it. They can create a logo for it if they want to.

And then they have a focus for three different episodes. the expert comes in and they have a 10 to 15 minute conversation with someone they can't even believe they're getting to meet and that's really cool and gosh I cannot tell you how much that expands their self-confidence to be to speak with people especially people that they admire so much have in a situation where they're sort of interviewing and I think many of my students are likely going to go on to be radio show hosts or podcasters because they've enjoyed the experience so much. So yeah, find out about us more at the Speak, Feed, Lead project. And the website is speakfeedlead.org. Can schools hire you? Can this be an afterschool program? Do you like,

how does that, how does that work? I would love to do things like that. We are all virtual right now. We weren't as when we began, but now our business model has pivoted that way. And we teach kids all across the country now. And we have students in Canada and China, Australia, India. So we have no borders. They are limitless boundaries. And so that means I would be happy to do, I've done some workshops for some elementary school kids, PTA members usually line that up with me where I will come in for 90 minutes and do a workshop either a couple of days in a row or three days or three days in a row or three weeks in a row, one day a week, and do these little workshops.

And we teach the conversation course and the students just absolutely love it. We have taught 124 kids all at one time, breaking them up into seven different groups so that they're smaller and can learn these conversation skills by having conversations with each other while they're learning it. And so, yeah, we are all about schools. We would love to get into prisons as well and to homeless shelters where there are kids that need to feel more confident.

Kids that are in foster care, also we want to be able to lighten their courage and help them to feel more prepared. I don't know what it's like in lots of other states, but here in Washington, when a foster child turns 18, they are just pretty much kicked out of the system. Whether they have a mentor or anyone that will care for them or not, they're just out there. And 40% of these kids are ending up homeless because they don't have the skills to move themselves forward.

And I believe that conversation is not optional. We need to be able to communicate with people and conversation is the way that we do that no matter who you are. So I think if kids were more prepared in that way, we'd have much, the leaders as adults would be much better too. You know, we've got a leadership crisis in our country and I think kids that are trained to have confidence in communication are going to be far greater leaders than we've ever seen before. So anyway, I think you're absolutely right. So this is a brilliant, brilliant program. You've done amazing work already. And I'm so excited to share the Speak Feed Lead project and continue to meet and be creative with you, Jackie. I see the Speak Feed Lead project and those courses as just so validating for kids and so accepting as well. And they're just setting them on the right path so that they can feel confident about themselves and they don't need to prove their worth.

They feel it themselves. That's the important part. They feel the worth of themselves, but they also have a curiosity about everybody else. And they recognize that everyone has that worth and they're excited about finding out the story that will inspire them. So empathy is built into that. It's an anti-bullying curriculum as well, that they're going to be kind to each other because they understand how to converse a kind way and make other people feel good about themselves.

So there's more byproducts from it that I see all the time that I really didn't plan on, But more and more, I realized communication is the key to everything, right? Even when we're here online and virtual, we still have to communicate. And everything we do to communicate, all of our body language and our facial expressions, that's all part of it. And if we are not looking at someone when they're talking to us, the body language says a lot. And our kids are learning from that. And I feel so bad for the students now who have to wear masks all the time because they're missing out on the facial expressions that each of us show as part of our communication skills.

And so they're missing communication cues right now as well because of the mask situation in-person classes. And so that needs to be more, at home they need to be more developed, those communication skills, because they're not necessarily developed well at schools right now. So parents really need to work on developing them at home. That leads me into before we wrap up today, a free Positive Prime session that families can watch together.

Yeah, right. Okay, Positive Prime is a fairly new application. It's neuroscientifically based, and it is like a vision board on steroids. It includes uplifting music. It will include images of people, children, adults, families, smiling, doing good together.

It also will show images of beautiful places and scenery and heartwarming pets like dogs, cats, and things like that. Other animals, lions, dolphins, whatever, that give us an insight into nature and the beauty all around us. It is meant to make you want to smile as you're watching. And I have created one specifically.

It's a session. we call these sessions, and they can be 30 minutes long. However, science has proven that if you just watch three minutes of a positive prime session, you'll get six to eight hours of a positive mindset. And I encourage my parents to let their children watch this before school and send them off into the world with this positive sense of who I am and their connection with the world and the part that they contribute and play in it. And so on my website, on the speakfeedlead.org website, there is a tab called more. And if you click on that tab, it will say positive prime session.

It is there available for you to watch. And I also offer you 10 days free of becoming a member of the positive prime application community. And you'll have access to hundreds of other sessions that have been created by people like Jack Canfield and Sean Johal and Kim Serafini, people like that. And you can watch them about wealth or money or health or wellness or meditation, spirituality, all kinds of categories for you to watch that just in three minutes are just going to make your day much better. And so many people who don't feel a connection to meditation, love Positive Prime because it gives them that three minutes of meditation without all the, you know, humming and whatever might be associated that they think might be associated with it. But also for people who do love to meditate, it's a nice enhancement in addition to what they're already doing because you can sit down for three minutes anytime during the day and watch Positive Prime. So that is my gift to you. And my session is definitely one that families can watch together because it's all about communication. It's called Speak with Power and Purpose. And the affirmations that are provided there are going to help your child feel,

I'm a good storyteller, or I speak kindly instead of harshly, and things like that, that they see, and it reaffirms for them the positive side of what they can do in the world. I just can't thank you enough for being here, Jackie. We could, literally, we could attack hours. I try to keep these at 30 minutes and you know, with some people it's just not possible.

And you're one of them because it's just such good information. Thank you so much for sharing your time with me today. And I really appreciate it. Well, I appreciate you giving me the opportunity, Jackie. I really do. Thank you so much for giving me this platform to let people know about it.

Thank you for tuning into the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Join Jackie next time for more tips, tools, and resources that will help you become the confident leader your kids crave you to be. Who do you know that we could support on their parenting journey? Like this podcast, subscribe, share, or leave a review of the show.

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