Part 3/3 Holiday Harmony Series: Sweets, Treats, and Taming Sugar Overload with Jaci Finneman

All right, welcome back, no problem parents, to part three of our Holiday Harmony series. We're talking all things sweets, treats, and taming sugar overload. In the first part of our series, we talked about taming temper tantrums. And our second part, we talked about resistance to attending events, focusing on introverted kiddos.

So you can go back and listen to those two episodes if you need to catch up. And then yesterday, as a precursor to today's episode, I had a conversation with Shirley Billigmeyer of Energetic. She's the founder of Energetics, and she shared some pretty profound perspectives on our innate eating boundaries, what we are born with. For instance, infants have over 10,000 taste buds, and each of those serves as a guide to decide which foods are suitable for our own consumption.

So as babies, we already know what foods are best for us. So Shirley emphasized that these internal signals are governed by hunger and taste, but those signals tend to get drowned out as we grow older because we're letting external factors dictate our eating habits. What Shirley was sharing yesterday is that eating was designed to give us energy, not to drain it. So eating was designed to give us energy, not to drain it.

Except we stop listening to our internal signals. Shirley has put extensive research into energetics, and she shares all of this in her book, Inner Eating, which was published back in 1991, and the foreword was written by Dr. Michael D. Jensen from Mayo Clinic.

There's a lot of research behind it. It's not a new kind of fad thing. It is actually going back to our roots, which I, of course, love because I'm all about step one and no problem parenting, seeking first to understand, right? As we transition into today's episode, Shirley's teachings provide a valuable backdrop.

So I would really encourage you to go back and listen to episode 212. Today, I'm going to share how to strike a balance between the joy of holiday sweets and also maintaining a healthy approach to treats just overall year round in your family. consider today's episode food for thought. See what I did there?

Welcome to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. From toddler tantrums to teenage eye rolls, this podcast is your go-to for updated and old school tips and tools that are going to help you become the confident leader your kids crave you to be. Do you ever wish there was a specific manual that came with each one of your kids? I mean, what works for one often doesn't work for the other, right? And let's face it, we don't know what we don't know. And even if there was a manual, it probably wouldn't be able to keep up with all the changes in our world. Well, this podcast is the next best thing. I'm your host, Jackie Finneman, a 30-year counselor turned parenting coach. And I've got a lot to share, including hundreds of resources that you have access to right from your home and strategies that are going to boost your confidence and energize you.

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All right, parents, let's get into some tips that are going to help your kids actually enjoy sweets without overindulging. Let's jump right in. Tip number one, this is one of my favorites, is to create a snack station. So if you can picture this, a designated snack station in your kitchen, on your kitchen table or on the counter that's easily accessible to your kiddos, to everybody in the family actually. So keep a bowl of fresh fruits like bananas or apples on the table or maybe it's trail mix or some crackers or something that you are 100% okay with any of your kids having on demand when they are hungry. And here's the genius part of this. Let your kids know that they can help themselves without asking. Gives them total control over when they are hungry they can go and get their hunger need met teaching them from the inside out. Consider having a container in the fridge with pre-cut vegetables. Maybe you have a mix of trail mix or nuts or raisins for quick and convenient snacking. Creating a snack station is a really great way to get your kids to stop nagging you for sweets. They know that in between meals this is the option that's available to them. And because the items that are on in the snack station area are 100% approved by you and you're totally okay with and they're healthy options, right? They're good food options.

It makes mealtime less of a battle. So some parents will say, well, if I have that snack option out there, they're not going to be hungry at dinnertime. Well, if they're not hungry at dinnertime, isn't that okay? Because they've already gotten some healthy food in their system and maybe they don't eat as much during mealtime and then they're hungry an hour after mealtime and they go back to the snack station to grab something from there, that's totally okay because those options are healthy. And here's the big thing about this. When you initiate the snack station for a period of time in the beginning, you might notice the snack station bowl is empty quite often and maybe your kids aren't eating as much as at dinnertime. That's not going to last forever.

That's not going to last very long because eventually they're going to figure out, you know, I'm kind of getting sick of the same old, same old snacks that are on the table. And the kids will just naturally start to wait till dinner to have the new variety of food. OK, which leads me into the next tip. Allow your kiddos to self-serve their plate to dish themselves up at mealtime.

And when they're really little, you have to do a little bit of helping with this, but you can still get them involved and have them take some initiative over how much they're dishing up on their plate. Your family meals become a whole lot smoother when you let your kiddos serve themselves. Provide small serving spoons for each dish, the main course, the veggies, the fruit, and then empower them to start with a small portion and then decide if they want more after they finish that.

It's a really great way to teach them to listen to their hunger cues and it prevents them from overeating. Sometimes as adults too, we do this, right? We fill up our entire plate. We might be so hungry when it comes to dinner time.

we stuff our plates full and then many of us grew up in the clean plate club and so we feel like oh we have to finish all of that food even if there's just a couple bites left but we're super stuffed we feel like we need to finish it as parents we get into this trap with our kids too having them be in the clean plate club before we give them the sweets or the treats the dessert and it's like their tummy might be already super full but they're gonna stuff it in there because they want that treat so bad now they're putting that treat in there on top of it and they're really getting stuffed. So everything in moderation. We want to start with smaller portions and we don't want to be battling over. You have to clean your plate before you get the sweet. So that leads me to tip number three, avoid food confrontations. So let's shift our focus from insisting that our kiddos have to try a particular food, have to clean their plate, and instead let's have them dish up how much they think they are hungry for at that particular meal. Yesterday Shirley talked in episode 212 about the hunger scale from 1 to 10. How hungry are you or how full are you and getting our kids to recognize and acknowledge that. And you might notice that your kiddo never chooses vegetables.

They just have it in their head. They don't like the vegetables. They had a bad experience with the vegetable. They didn't like the taste of one and they're just never dishing themselves up the vegetables. You can make this more interesting and intriguing to them by not focusing so much just on that vegetable, talk about how you like the food without convincing. We're going to get into that in a second. Or suggesting that they try one bean or two beans or three beans and say, you know, the first time you try this, your taste buds might be kind of shocked. They might be like, hmm, I've never had that before. I'm not sure if I like it. But then you try it a second time and take a second bean and you chew on that for a minute and you're like, hmm, maybe I like it.

By the third time, honey, you're going to know if you like that food or not. By the third taste, you're going to know if right now you like that food or not. Which leads me into tip number four. Explain to your kids that their taste buds change. So have you ever noticed how your kiddo's taste seems to change overnight? One day they couldn't stand ketchup and then the next day all of a sudden they love it? It's entirely normal. Our taste buds evolve as we grow. I never used to like cottage cheese growing up and as an adult all of a sudden I liked cottage cheese. Keep this really matter-of-fact with their kids just like they're growing up and their interests are changing as they grow. It's same with their taste buds. Their taste buds are changing as they grow and one day they might like something that they didn't used to like and allowing them to have control over what they put in their mouth at a young age promotes a sense of autonomy and responsibility for their own health. So that leads me to tip number five, foster independence. Encourage your kids to explore their food preferences. Let them decide what they want to include in their meals and speaking of holiday treats if they don't want to get too full because they want to make sure that they have the special Christmas cupcake and they have room for that allow them to just put smaller portions of the main meal on their plate it's let them indulge a little bit in this holiday

season at least they're getting something in of course we want to promote things like drinking water and but anytime you're promoting the healthy stuff there needs to be a reason why kids need to buy into that. They need to believe this from the inside out, right? So educate them. It's always about educating our kids rather than just telling them what to do and what will happen if they don't do what we tell them to do. So it's not a do as I said so kind of a thing. It's teaching our kids to listen to their own hunger cues and their fullness cues and having them decide how much they're going to need. It prevents so many battles and so many sneaky behaviors. Now that leads me to tip number six, avoid tricking your kids. Avoid tricking your kids and convincing them to eat something. So honesty is the best policy, right parents? Especially when it comes to food.

Please refrain from using deceptive methods to get your kiddos to eat certain foods and tricking them. That you're setting the stage for them to become sneakier as they get older and to defy you even more. So instead, be transparent about what they're consuming. Let them know, educate them.

What are the nutritional benefits? What do carrots do for your eyes? What does water do for your poop? Remember in our volume one of No Problem Parenting, Melissa Dealy's chapter on how nutrition impacts your kids' learning and behavior, she includes a poop chart. It's one of my favorite tools to teach kids whether or not they're getting enough water. Instead of us constantly trying to put water in them, they will know if they're getting enough water by looking at their poop. It is so cool.

So go pick up volume one of No Problem Parenting, Raising Your Kittles with More Confidence and Less Fear, and you'll get that full color poop chart that little kids can understand. And you can actually then begin to do more education around what we put into our tummies has to come out of our tummies. Sometimes putting too much sugar in our tummies makes us constipated or makes our poop hurt when it comes out. It's so super fun to educate kids from the inside out without scaring them, without tricking them, and without having to argue about food. All right, and before I get into tip number eight, just real quick, I think I forgot to mention this. This is one of my favorite things to do when you're visiting different places at holiday time and you know there's going to be a lot of sweets and treats and snacks and candy. Bring little baggies with you or small containers.

In fact, if you're the host of a party, having some little snack bags available like at the entrance or the exit of your event is a really fun thing to do. And then have a little Sharpie marker so you can put the person's name on it. But that way, when kids are going around and looking at all the different sweets and treats, they can find they can decide which ones do they want to take home with them for later. So they don't feel like they have to, you know, stuff their faces full at the actual event.

Everything in moderation. We're teaching our kids that. We're preparing them for that ahead of time. They're going to bring a couple of baggies with them and or a container and they're going to put some things aside or away.

When you get home, if you've had lots of those sweets and treats piling up, put some of them in the freezer. Teach your kids about how to save things for later and they can freeze some things and then they'll have some snacks another day. So it takes that urgency off of having to fill their tummies full right that day or they're never going to get it again or they're never going to be able to try it. so we want to again make it normal for them and make it like yes I want you to have these things it's so fun to taste and to try new things and it makes them again less sneaky and it puts less emphasis around the desire and the need to have this thing right now and in the moment in fact you can have that conversation with your kids I don't want you to feel like you have to sneak something because if you ask me if you can have it I'll say no I would rather have you be honest with me and have us bring these baggies along so that if there's something you want and you're too full or you've had too many sweets already during the day and it's going to send you overboard and make you feel uncomfortable, I want you to be able to have this baggie so you can take it home with you. Deal? All right. And then tip number eight is for those of you who feel like you have tried everything and your kids cravings or the battles you're having around food or sweets or treats is just too much and it is putting a wedge in your relationship with your kiddo, then tip number

eight is to seek professional guidance. There are so many reasons why kids, when we seek first to understand why kids have food cravings or we have issues around food. And I promise you there is a solution to whatever it is you're dealing with with your kiddo and their food cravings or their picky eating or problem feeding. In fact, episode 131 is all about picky eating or problem feeding.

There might be something else going on, right? There might be a root cause to why your kiddo is only wanting to eat sweets or never wanting to eat vegetables, things like that. Episode 131 is a great resource for you. And there's some great links in the show notes for that as well. Now, another thing is I just referenced Melissa Dealy with the poop chart in volume one of our book.

In episode 45, Melissa talks about food sensitivities and how they can relate to behavior problems with our kids. So sometimes our kiddos crave sugar, but they're actually, they actually have an allergy or a sensitivity to certain types of sugar or certain types of food with sugar. And so getting to the bottom of that is really key. And again, it can help you not get into a battle that's going to put a wedge in between you and your relationship with your child.

All right, there you have it. There's some practical tips to help your kids enjoy sweets this holiday season without overindulging. And remember, every kiddo is unique. So feel free to tailor these tips to fit your family's dynamics.

You are the expert of your child. So as much advice as there is out there, as many tips and tools and ideas, what works for one family or one child won't work for the next. So try the ones that you feel comfortable with. Push yourself a little bit to try one of them that maybe you're not so comfortable with.

I'd love to hear about your experiences with any of the tips. You can certainly always email me, Jackie, J-A-C-I, at noproblemparents.com. If you enjoyed today's episode or this Holiday Harmony series, be sure to subscribe, rate, and leave a review of the show and share it with your family and friends.

I hope your holiday season is filled with joy, laughter, and memorable family moments, hugs, and high fives. Parents, you've got this. All right, that's it for today's episode of the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Hey, thanks guys for tuning in.

If you found value in today's episode, click the subscribe button and share it with other parents who might need a little boost. Stay connected on our socials by following at No Problem Parents for more parenting tips and get your free download of the 60 ways to respond to your kids without losing your cool, go to NoProblemParents.com. Until next time, remember, your confidence comes from embracing both successes and setbacks. So take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and remember, you got this.

Thank you.