Teaching Your Kids to Become Self Aware and Self Regulate from the Inside Out with Special Guest Eva Goulette

Hey, hey, parents, welcome back to the No Problem Parenting podcast, where we choose to deal with and overcome the emotional and behavioral challenges within our home. Hey, guys, if you haven't yet, go to noproblemparents.com, sign up for our email list slash newsletter. We do a newsletter once a month, and we are starting to send out regular emails, and we're going to be shifting our services just a tad.

I am still offering for the time one-on-one parent coaching, but we are moving most everything into our parenting community, becoming a no problem parent in 30 days or less. There is a link always in the show notes to become a no problem parent. We have added not only the course or the videos, you know, it's not really a course. It's more like a presentation about the three steps of no problem parenting.

seek first to understand, prepare for the worst, and change the conversation. We have now added an app. So we're moving out of Facebook and social media when it comes to our private community. Everything is going to be in the app. So if you have ever been a client of mine in No Problem Parenting, make sure you head into your Simplero portal where the course is stored because you're also going to see that there is a new tab in your membership community that is just for parents in the community and it acts much like um facebook let's say where we can put posts and updates we can answer questions i'm going to have my videos in there any of the trainings that are offered that are typically paid for they're going to go into that app and you're going to be able to watch them on demand if the topic suits you just had one on mouth breathing if you have not seen that one yet, you have got to go into your portal, log into the private community, download the Simplero app to your phone, and then use your course login information, which is going to bring you right into the app. Now, if you're not a member of the private community yet, why not join us today? One of the things that I've heard from many of the parents that do discovery calls with me is that they do not have time to meet weekly as much as they could use the support.

It just never seems to fit in their schedule. When they do have a minute or catch a break, it's later in the evening, it's early in the morning, or it's on the weekends. And so here's what I'm doing. I'm moving so much into that app, including the same material, the same suggestions, the tips, the conversations that I've had with other no problem parents.

And so you're going to want to get in on that, you guys, because it is only $4.99 for the entire year. I know this price is going to change for right now. I don't even have time to change the price.

I don't even have time to go into what that all is going to look like. So for now I'm leaving it at $4.99. We are going to have a monthly option. So for those of you where $4.99 is just not in your budget, we're going to do our best to help you out. All right. So with this new email campaign, a few weeks ago, I sent an email out to my current no problem parents and I said, Because things change, right?

So I wanted to know for some people who don't do one-on-one coaching with me currently, but they did previously, their kids are growing. We haven't connected maybe in a while. I wanted to know what are your biggest challenges? What are the things that are happening right now that are pressing issues for you?

And here's the answers that I got. I'm going to share just a handful of them. One of them was how to deal with a rebellious child with ADD. We got you covered.

Another one was figuring out mental health and making good choices with limited and crap options for services and education. I know what this parent is talking about. There are so many great resources out there, but oftentimes when it comes down to it, there's a ton of paperwork. There's a lot of hoops and things to kind of get through in order to get the services.

And then when you get them as a parent, yes, sometimes feel like they're really legit, not working. And there just seems to be a lot of red tape and it comes down to, well, we can provide a service, but first we have to do an assessment and then we have to have another meeting. And then we're going to have another meeting after that. And then we have to evaluate this.

And sometimes you're just like, oh my gosh, I just need an answer right now today for how I can respond to my kiddo who's struggling with X, Y, or Z. So I totally got you, mama. Another challenge a parent wrote about was transitioning children from one task to another. Again, you can Google a bazillion ways to help transition your child from one task to another.

But what are you missing? The actual way to do it, to say it, to transition that child. And then what do you do when they don't transition? And you guys, it's not as simple as just transitioning the child and using whatever technique.

There's a, there's, like I said, there's a ton of awesome techniques about this. But as the parent, when you try a technique and it doesn't seem to work, you're like, oh my God, am I doing it wrong? What's the matter with me? Why is this not working?

Why is my kid not just going, oh, okay, I'm going to do this transition and have no problem because it doesn't work that way. So much of it is in the way you deliver the approach and also the way you respond to your child when it seems like the approach is not working. that's what no problem parenting helps you do it's a mindset shift for you and how to respond to your kiddo and so often parents will say to me Jackie I just wish that I had you in my head like your voice I had I could just like turn a switch and your words would come out of my mouth well guys I've got over 30 years of experience working with this huge gamut of kiddos from zero to you know 25 really which they're adults by then but sometimes not acting like it I mean it's been repetition for me which is what it takes for you and I get that and I understand that so again that's why I've created this membership community and this app so that you can go in and hear my voice not just my voice but the way the lilt the tone the fun I'm having the firmness I use The matter of fact, way I say things and the ability to pause and to just realistically be able to respond to your kid, mess up, make a mistake, yell, throw a fit yourself, whatever it is, this realistic day in and day out kind of parenting in a way that's going to help any other parenting program you've learned be more successful because the way that you use it and the way that you respond to your kids is going to change.

That's what I help you with. Okay, another thing a parent responded to was letting go, trusting my kids to get things done. Oh my gosh, this is a big one, you guys. Our son just graduated, and I've got to tell you that being number one, a family counselor for 20 years, and then switching to parent coach, which I've been a parent coach now for almost 10 years.

We're on our 10-year anniversary in November. I have had to practice what I preach, and it has not been easy all of the time. And I got to tell you, I have done it imperfectly. My son will tell you someday he'll probably start a podcast and he'll tell you all the things.

But letting go and trusting our kids to get things done is super key, especially as they enter that 10 year old, 12 year old and definitely by 15 year old stage. Otherwise, they are going to be on your couch when they're 25 years old. Most likely that's going to happen. OK, another parent wants more information on digital devices and screen time boundaries.

So much of the kids' schoolwork is linked with being on the computer. And it gets harder and harder to regulate because on one hand, they need the technology to do their schoolwork, but then they might be using the technology to talk with their friends. Oh, wait, they're doing technology to go shopping. They're also video gaming.

Hey, guys, technology is our new way of life. While it isn't the norm that many of us grew up on, it is the norm for our kids. The more we look at the problem of technology, which we must do to keep our kids safe, but the more we only focus on the problem and feed that problem with all this negative attention and energy and fear and worry, the more problems we're going to create. So definitely we're going to have lots of information pouring into the parenting community frequently about tips and tools and ways to respond to our kids in regards to technology and teaching self-control.

We just had an episode on the podcast about technology and self-control. Another parent said adjusting to guiding our kiddos into adulthood. So guiding to guiding adult children. And it can be so tricky to not want to continue to parent with caution, with consequences, and all of that when our kids are adults.

but we really need to make that transition and let our kids know and our adult children know we believe in them so when they come to you with a problem they don't need you to solve it they need you to listen and then ask them what are they going to do what are their thoughts what are their ideas what are they leaning towards they don't always even though they seem like they're asking for your advice they don't always want it so we're going to cover that another question is knowing how to communicate and feel assured that my method of being, my method of communicating and the energy I convey is actually landing with my child so that they feel seen, heard, and understood. If you didn't catch the last episode with Chelsea Elliott in Somocom Lab, you've got to go back and listen to it. She's going to give you lots of tips and tools and then you can click on her links. But again, that's another thing that we're going to be putting into the parenting community here at No problem parenting.

Okay, another one is how to deal with my child when they're struggling with mental health. How to best support them, yet keep them accountable for his actions. And here's the deal. If your child is in therapy right now, I got to tell you, one of the best things you can do for yourself is have a mentor or parenting coach.

Somebody that understands the mental health world that can help guide you on how to support your child who is in therapy. because it is important to be able to support your child through that process. And it doesn't always have to be with this kind of somber, like, are you okay? It can be a very matter of fact kind of thing.

Everything No Problem Parenting is to help you become the confident leader your kids crave you to be so that you can raise confident, capable kids. And mental health is not a life sentence. And if you're feeling like it is, reach out, give me a call. It is not, and I can tell you why.

It is not. Mental health is absolutely not a life sentence. If you're wondering about that, make sure you connect with me for one of my free calls. All right. So there's many more. I've got to get into today's episode.

So I'm going to wrap this up. Be sure to go to NoProblemParents.com. Sign up for our free newsletter. You're going to get a copy of the free Make It Right technique.

Just it's a free download. And then there is also a link in the show notes. or you can go to no problem parenting.com and you can learn more about what's all offered in the membership community. That site's going to be updated. So there's, like I said, there's just so much that is in the works right now. We have another book coming out. We have round table events that are free and streamed on Facebook right now, and also added into the membership community. You can go to event bright and search for hello world and no problem parenting to get the alerts for when we have new events and be sure to check out our resource page, go to no problemparents.com. Click on resources. We've just taken a bunch of resources off. We're revamping them. We're adding more and more every week, but we do have resources on that page. People that I personally know and have vetted and that offer really niched services in the areas of health and wellness, school, technology, business, finance, and of course, parenting. All right,

you guys, let's get into today's episode. Welcome to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Hey there, parents. Did you know there's a way to transform your kid's behavior? That's right.

I'm a parenting coach and strategist, and we're going to seek first to understand why your kids are behaving the way they are so we can really go deeper with your own behaviors and what is happening in your relationship with your kiddos from the inside out, to take the actions and steps necessary to problem solve and transform your parenting so that you can become the confident leader your kids crave you to be. I promise you there is a solution for your parenting problems.

If you feel like no matter how nice you are or how strict you are, your kiddos are still struggling, it's time to get off the struggle bus and become the confident leader your kids craving to be. Join me on this journey of behavioral strategies and resources so that you can feel empowered as a parent again and turn your everyday parenting problems into no problem. You know, No Problem Parenting is all about becoming the confident leader our kids crave us to be. And guess what? We can teach our kids how to be confident as well. And so my guest today is going to help us help our children to tap into their inner wisdom so that they can develop confidence in their ability to find their the answers within their own answers within themselves i'm so excited to introduce you all to ava gulay ava is an international best-selling author and the founder of dancing jaguar inspirations which is a company that creates metaphysical programs and products for all ages. Her Spirit Camp is a foundational program that provides a smorgasbord of teachings so children can create a wisdom toolbox for life. I love this. When students learn to trust their intuition and connect to their higher wisdom, they're able to thrive and live with confidence and self-awareness. So Ava is passionate about nurturing the heart and spirits of children by teaching them about the connection between their minds, their body, and their spirit

so they can develop confidence in their own unique being. Today, she's going to share information about why it's important for children to learn how to trust their intuition. I am so excited to have you here today. Welcome to the show, Ava. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. And I love all things intuition. I'm an intuitive person. I remember when I left my first job as a paraprofessional, well, my first like real job as a paraprofessional in the school district, my supervisor at my little going away party gave me a card and inside the card, she had a quote, and it said, we need to let our intuition guide us and then follow that guidance directly and fearlessly. I truly do believe that when we know how we, we can trust our intuition and let that,

let it guide us directly and fearlessly. So anyway, it just, that sparked a memory for me. And I absolutely love the work that you're doing with, with kiddos, supporting kids in a way that includes their spirit. So let's kind of, you know, the essence of who they are, kind of share with us how you created this model and why. Thank you. This model was created after I had a traumatic brain injury, I just started dreaming at night of this beautiful kind of new way to work with children. And over time, I just kept getting more and more of this curriculum through my nighttime activity as I was recovering from a brain injury. And I feel like the brain injury was a gift for me because it kind of recalibrated stuff in my brain to be able to open this doorway for me to receive this incredible work of this body of curriculum that supports the hearts and spirits of the children. And in our society, there's so much emphasis placed on the brains and the bodies of children, but we're made up of so much more than that. And I feel like this is the first really big mainstream body of curriculum that adults can learn to really take on the role of mentoring children in terms of their heart and spirit. And that essence of who we are is so indefinable, but that's what makes each of us so unique in this world. And each and every one of us is a gift and we were born with gifts that we are bringing to the world. So when I help

children understand how to connect to their intuition, how to understand the signs and signals that they are receiving that are coming at us all the time in our world, it really gives children confidence to show up in the world with so much more, not only just self-awareness, but awareness of the interconnectedness of everything around us in the world. It expands their world by so much more than their peers, really.

So what I see is parents coming to me and saying, my child just went through a personal evolution in five days because they came in not understanding anything about spirit and what you mean by that and they left really embodying knowledge and wisdom that we're connected to all things energetically and that what we do to one we do to ourselves because everything is connected it's this giant web of interconnected energy around our planet and through games and crafts and activities and songs. There's so much fun and play in spirit camp that children are having fun the whole time, but they don't even realize that they're really creating a wisdom toolbox for life and how to show up in the world as a human being and get the most out of it.

Well, it's really cool. And it's very intentional. And it's something we don't think about. I think like you're right. We oftentimes were teaching our kids how their brain works and their behavior and the consequences and the discipline and all of those kinds of things. But really, do they know themselves? Do they know who they are? And how do you start this education with kids? What does a camp look like? Well, it's divided up into different sections throughout the week. The first day is really when we introduce children to the concept that we are made up of spirit as well.

We are not just brains and bodies. So there's this beautiful book that I share with children about a little girl who recognizes or all of a sudden realizes that she has a spirit living inside an apartment in her heart. It's a precious little story about a child who discovers that you know, she is made up of the spirit and she wants the world to be able to see who she really is, which is the spirit living inside the apartment in her heart. And the only way she can remember consciously to show the people around her, her authentic self is to wear her socks inside out. So she always remembers that that's how she wants to live her life is from the inside out. So she is always showing up as her authentic self. Oh my gosh, what a good story. It is. So that's how we start spirit camp by introducing the concept that we are also made up of spirit.

And then from there, we have different practices that we're going to continue throughout the course of the week that so I call Monday the day that we're building our community, building trust in the community, getting to know each other, but we're also creating our sacred tools for the week. One of them is their wisdom toolbox. I call it their spirit toolbox. It's just a cardboard shoebox that kids bring to camp with them. And throughout the course of the week, as they learn different tools and techniques for supporting themselves, for self-regulation and self-awareness, they put all of those tools in their spirit toolbox. And at the end of the week, they take it home and it is overflowing on Friday afternoon with ways that they have learned to support themselves whenever they're facing challenges. So I'll give you an example of a couple of the tools that we put in there. One is we call it their sacred pouch. It's a pouch that the kids make and we fill it with bird seed. And every time we go out into the natural world at free play or after lunch, we are looking for materials to use in our craft projects.

And each time we pick up something from Mother Earth, the children sprinkle some bird seed on the ground as an expression of gratitude to Mother Earth for the gifts that she is constantly giving us every day of our lives. So immediately on the very first day of the program, the children are starting to learn to have a reverence for what Mother Earth provides for us in order to live these beautiful lives on this planet.

So we call that their sacred pouch. We make talking sticks and we talk about how talking sticks, when we're sitting in circle together, can be a beautiful tool for us to use to learn how to be good listeners and to learn how to be respectful. When someone has a point of view that we may not necessarily agree with, it's a good tool to practice using so that we can share our opposing points of view respectfully with others.

and it's a really good tool for the children to take home and use within their families. Because when the talking stick is in play, only the person that is holding the talking stick is allowed to be the one communicating at the time. So it brings in lessons on respect, on being a good listener, on being tolerant of others' beliefs. And then there are a few others that we make throughout the course of the day, but I want to kind of move along. And our second day, we talk about energy and that we are energetic beings. And everything around us is made up of energy as well. And that carries with it a vibration and a frequency. And the children learn about the energy centers in our bodies that are called chakras. And through really playful games and crafts and songs and activities, the children learn all about the chakras in their body. And when those chakras become blocked, how they can promote discomfort and dis-ease in our bodies. And when we learn how to move the energy in those chakras, we can help remove any blockages in those chakras. So the children become empowered to learn how to take care of themselves energetically.

And they learn how to move that energy in their bodies. And this is really empowering for kids because I'll share a story about a little five-year-old who went to spirit camp before she even started kindergarten. And one day, a couple of months later, her mom came home from work exhausted. And her little girl at five years old went up to her and just said, mom, why don't I align your chakras for you before dinner?

I think you'll feel better. So even as young as five years old, this child had all of a sudden become a partner in the holistic well-being of her family because she had tools, knowledge and wisdom and the ability to help support her mom when her mom was feeling exhausted. So it changes dynamics in families when kids go to spirit camp because they become so much more self-aware and aware of the support knowledge that they have and being able to assist others.

And then in the afternoon on Tuesdays, we talk about the energy system that exists outside of our bodies called our auras. And one of the lessons that I think is very profound for children is we use dowsing rods, which are used to detect water, as most of us know, but they can also be used to just detect energy. And we show children by using the dowsing rods how big their aura is, their personal space. And that opens up a gigantic conversation about our personal space and how big it is.

And when somebody comes into your personal space and it feels uncomfortable, where do you feel that in your body? Most of us will say we can feel it in our solar plexus or in our stomach. We get like a knot in our stomach. So we start identifying sensations that our body shares with us when something isn't quite right.

And that is the way our higher wisdom or our intuition connects with us to give us information that once we learn how to interpret that information, we can make decisions based on that. So the child can make a decision based on if they don't feel comfortable in that person's position. I mean, in that person's presence, they can move away. They can go stand next to an adult.

They can bring that information to an adult that's in their presence. So there's great lessons in learning how to interpret information we're receiving on a physical level. And then on Wednesday, children learn how to do shamanic journeying. And many people in faith-based religions talk about guardian angels.

And in spirit camp, we talk about power animals as being spirit helpers. And the children love learning that they have a spirit helper that's always there to assist them, guide them, love them unconditionally. And it's a huge part of the joy people see in children on Wednesday when they pick them up at spirit camp. And then on Thursday, we tackle a little bit more of stuff that I say I can take into any public classroom in the country.

We cover some breathing techniques and we match each of those breathing techniques to situations where children feel anxiety or fear. And then we match that situation that might may come up again for them with the breathing technique they can do the next time that happens. So we're setting them up for success by giving them coping strategies and attaching them to situations that they will continue to deal with. We do mindfulness exercises with them.

We do coping strategies around anger management. And then so the whole day on Thursday is following that. Oh, we tap into their personal power and explain what personal power is and how personal power is not power over someone else. it's learning how to master, you know, your own internal energy and power and being able to take that out into the world and do good with it. And then we also introduce them to their inner dialogue, their self-talk, their inner critic and their inner champion. And they start learning how to bring in self-compassion so they can start creating more positive self-talk. So that's a loaded day on Thursday. And then on Friday, we have some wonderful experiences where the kids go outside and they actually experience connecting to the natural world energetically. Like we have done that throughout the week inside our classroom space. But on Friday, we go outside and the kids start understanding that they can actually sense the energy of a tree as they're standing next to it. And they can sense the energy of a boulder or a plant in the garden. And we have kids start experiencing connecting energetically to the natural world. And there are some really profound things that happen. When children start doing that they start talking about things far beyond their years that they would even have the ability to speak of. But it's because they're making these beautiful connections, that they're just gaining so much wisdom and knowledge from these connections

that they're making. So it's a beautiful experience. And then we have a closing ceremony where family and friends are invited to come and share and learning about the incredible evolution these children have gone through in five days where they really are received like an owner's manual on being a human being and how to work with yourself as an energetic being and as a spiritual being and how to show up with love and compassion in the world.

This is absolutely incredible, Ava. I mean, just listening to that whole, I wanted to interrupt you several times already because each point that you made for what you cover for each day, I mean, this is so great. I wish this kind of curriculum was just a natural part of our schooling because Because I think it would mean so often we're dealing with the misbehavior in school when kids can't sit still or when they're, you know, touching other kids or in their space or when they're, you know, blurting something out of turn or not feeling included with friendship groups or bullying or, you know, just all the things.

And I'm going, what is what an awesome thing to teach this self-awareness? I wrote some notes down while you were talking. I want to just touch on a few points. and being self-aware was the first one, but also the regulation, self-regulation.

So I can imagine, you know, I just had Dr. Sam Rader on with, and she's the inventor of Source Code. She talks about these, you know, 12 developmental stages and how if we, any of those developmental stages are harmed or not completed or whatever, we develop these coping skills. And it has a lot to do with really knowing who you are and becoming self-aware of who you are and why you might be responding or reacting to something with either anger or frustration, whatever. So the self-regulation is a big one. And I love the way you're doing this. It's not just about sit still, take a deep breath, catch a bubble, you know, all of that. It's really teaching the kids why they're doing that, why that's important and helping them learn that from,

like you said, the inside out. Exactly, exactly. And the fact that they're learning it in playful ways the entire week. I mean, these kids really do feel like they're just going to summer camp, but what they're doing is learning about who they are. So in a very fun and playful curriculum, these kids are really getting a life like an owner's manual, like for who they are and how they can show up in this world with confidence.

So self-regulation, self-awareness and all that, and then personal power. I just love the way you're doing all this because I can imagine that parents will need to intervene less frequently or less often because the kids will, maybe parents will say, you know, there's a code word or there's just a different way to approach than if the child is acting hyper or out of control or getting frustrated or nervous or whatever, are there things that the parents then can do?

Or is this something that the kids will just naturally know how to do on their own? Oh, that brings up a really good point. Okay. So I want to tell you a story about a mom who said her eight-year-old daughter prior to going to spirit camp, whenever her daughter would get into a bad mood, everyone around her knew it because she made everyone miserable because she was waiting for outside stimulus to change her mood. Mom said that once she went to spirit camp, it changed the whole family because when this child would get frustrated, she would go into her bedroom and slam the door, but she would come out a different child 20 minutes later, because she would go to her spirit toolbox, take it out. And the last craft kids do at spirit camp is they make a little booklet.

It's like their little cheat sheet, their little spirit camp tools booklet that they make. And on each page, they list one of the tools that they learned. So whenever they're completely overwhelmed to the point where they can't even think straight, all they have to do is go to their spirit toolbox, open to any page in that little booklet. And there's a tool written right there that they could do, whether it's practicing some breathing or some mindfulness or use one of their tools to connect to themselves energetically.

They learn how to move anger through their body. So there are lots and lots of different tools that are written in that little booklet. And we encourage parents to go over the booklet with your child when they come home. And then when the child hits a stumbling block, you can just say like, do you want to go get your spirit toolbox?

Let's see if there's something in there you can do or go get your book from spirit camp. See which tool feels like something you would want to use right now or do a journey to your power animal. What would your power animal tell you to do right now? You know, so there are so many different tools that we provide for children that parents have a smorgasbord of suggestions they can give their children when their child hits a stumbling block.

Yeah, I love it. I know one of the other things I was going to say is when you mentioned Christians call them guardian angels, you use spirit animals. I do both because I, and I didn't know about the spirit animal thing. And I actually, because I'm a Christian, I was a little nervous about it when this happened.

And so I went and talked to my priest and said, Hey, is this okay? Is this is within my religious values and things. And he said, as long as you're not praying to the spirit animal, as if it's a God, clearly in our, my faith, God has sent that animal to you to send you a message and to be there for you and to show it. So it was, it was absolutely wonderful.

And that's my whole episode 32. I wanted to share that I have had two Catholic nuns go through the spirit camp teacher training program. And I've been in contact with a Catholic priest and an Episcopalian priest. And I have heard them use words like, you know, we're doing this wrong with kids, we need to find ways to reach children. Because the way we're doing it isn't working. And we're we're watching, we're looking at it, we're understanding what you are bringing forward for children. And we, We are paying attention and we want to know how we can learn from what you are doing to reach our children in a deeper way.

So I feel like religious leaders are starting to take note of this. And there are various churches, Universalist Unitarian churches and Unity Churches, Center for Spiritual Living. They love spirit camp. And we often work with them and partner with them for spirit camp locations in the summers.

But so religious leaders are paying attention to this because there is no dogma with spirit camp. We don't tell kids what to believe. We tell them to look inside themselves and tap into their own essence to find their own answers. So it's very empowering as opposed to telling them what we want them to believe.

But then the other thing is that educators are also paying close attention to this. And many, many teachers, principals, a high school superintendent, I mean, a school district superintendent have taken the teacher training program to start like getting little, little insights into how we can start bringing some of this into public schools so that we can support children in a more holistic way, as opposed to just teaching brains and bodies in our in the desks, sitting at the desks in our classrooms.

And then also the medical institution is looking at this and looking at, I've had two hospital administrators go through the curriculum because they want to learn how they can start bringing information like this into their family living or their family healthy education programs, you know, in their medical communities. So I feel like we have broken institutions, medical, education, and religious, and all of them are kind of looking at this new way of supporting children as being very groundbreaking, very unique, and very necessary right now for the kids in our world.

I, you know, and I just totally agree. I think that feeling when you for even faith, anybody that's a faith filled person, that faith is internal, it comes from something within you. And so let's talk about the inner critic. Okay.

feeler. And we just need to help them understand that and not be afraid of that. Right. That is so true. When I started introducing this module of helping children identify their inner critic, I honestly didn't know how it was going to work. And the very first time I did it, it blew my mind because I introduced children to their inner critic in a very fun and playful way. It's very spirit camp-ish where we do a guided meditation and the kids are holding a remote control drone in their hands in the meditation. And they control this little teeny tiny miniature drone that's so tiny, it goes into their ear to explore their brain. And it's going through all the hallways and the corridors in their brain. And then it's finding its way to the control center of their brain. And when it goes through the door to the control center,

it sees their inner critic. So we give the children a moment to see what it looks like. And, you know, how tall is it? Tall, short, full description of what the inner critic is.

And then the child puts kind of puts the inner critic on notice and says that it's going to learn how to be a little more loving toward it from now on. And we'll come back and talk to it later. So then the child comes back, you know, with the drone through its ear. And we have the children draw a picture of who they just met.

And this is so exciting for kids because most kids at this age have no concept that the thoughts that they're thinking in their head is not who they are. This is the first time they've experienced that separation. So now they're starting to realize that this chatterbox in their head is saying things to them all the time that may not be very loving. And the very first time I did this, I had a child who drew a picture of a little girl.

And in the center of the girl's heart was, I mean, chest was a broken heart. This girl was seven. All around her, she had written thought bubbles that said things like, you aren't awesome. You'll never be as good as me.

Nobody likes you. You'll never be cool. Just all kinds of really hurtful things that an inner critic would say. But to have this seven-year-old child define it so clearly blew my mind.

And then the children are introduced to their inner champion. Same way we go into the guided meditation. And there's whole teachings around this. Like what are things that, you know, an inner critic might say versus an inner champion.

And there's a whole big teaching with this. But they meet their inner champion. And then we ask the children to come up with their own clever, creative ways to, in a sense, turn down the volume of their inner critic's voice so they can turn up the volume of their inner champion's voice. And the children come up with their own ways of doing that.

And, you know, one child who wanted to be a cowboy said that when his inner critic says something negative towards him, he's going to have his inner champion lasso the thought bubble and throw it out into the universe. So it's not, you know, interfering with their brain space anymore. And another child said she was going to capture the words as soon as they came out of her inner critic's mouth and put them in the trash can in her brain.

So they have their own little child friendly fun ways that they start determining for themselves so they can start managing the negativity of their inner talk. And one mom told me that, you know, before her child went to spirit camp, when she would sit down at her little art desk to, you know, make pictures and stuff, she was always whispering under her breath. Oh, this looks awful. You can't do this.

You know, just really negative stuff. And her mom said after spirit camp, she walked by one day and she heard her daughter say, you got this, Stella. You can do this. This looks great.

And her mom said, that's when I knew that spirit camp is worth every penny that I paid for that camp because she has never whispered anything positive out loud about herself in her eight years. So the kids take this stuff in and they live it after they leave spirit camp, which is so powerful. If we can give kids a step up on, you know, building their confidence and their self-awareness and how to, how to self-regulate, this is such an important gift to give to children.

And this is why my mission is to train as many adults as possible and how to bring this work to children in their communities. I love it. And I'm glad you brought that up because before we wrap up the episode today, I want to talk a little bit about your train the trainer series that you do or train the trainer class that you have. I do want to say this fits so wonderfully in step three of no problem parenting, which is to change the conversation. You know, I teach a lot about the difference between unconditional praise and conditional praise. And I believe we're giving our kids too much unconditional praise, so much so that they don't believe it themselves. Because often as parents, we're wanting to make it better. We're wanting to make them feel better. We're trying to convince them that they're good at something that they don't believe that they're good at. And so I talk about starting with conditional praise, which is point out the fact of what you noticed or what you saw them do.

This really takes it to the next level, Ava, because what you're helping is to help the child internalize this and really look from within and start with that stinking thinking in their brain and know that every thought they have isn't necessarily true and how they can change that conversation within themselves. And they can really shut down that inner critic, acknowledge it, and then shut it down. So I, man, I just think this is amazing. So I'm curious about the training.

And then also I want to talk about where your camps are located and how people can sign up for those. Okay. Well, the teacher training program, I do a program in person or online, and I have an in-person six-day program coming up in Maine the first week of August. And then I start a virtual training in September.

But we do a webinar once a month, a free webinar people can come to to learn more about how to work with children like this, how to become a certified spirit camp teacher. And I encourage people to click on the link that you're providing for them to learn when our next webinar is and go ahead and sign up for it. And that gives people a really good overall understanding of the importance of this, because in that webinar, I share stories about how profound this camp has been in the lives of some children.

I swear we have saved the lives of a couple of children who were having some very serious mental health issues prior to spirit camp. And it just it's like it gave them a spark of life and positivity that they didn't have before. And it's a really powerful thing to watch a child's life light up like that. It's amazing. And there's so much people want to blame it on social media.

They want to blame it on technology and all the different things. I don't know what we're going to blame it on because it's different for everybody. But suicide rates are really through the roof. And even before suicide, I mean, just the depression rates and everything.

So if you feel like you have a kiddo who you're feeling disconnected from or you're feeling like they're kind of always negative and always in the dumps, this is a great camp to send this child to, to give them some hope and understanding. And again, like you say, to feel this from the inside out, how incredible is that? So how can people access your camp information? At spiritcamp.net takes you to our main page on our website, and you just click on Spirit Camp right there.

And you'll see what locations we have located around the world because I am teaching teachers on Zoom. We have Spirit Camp locations in numerous states around the U.S., and hopefully that will continue to grow and expand our reach around the world as well.

What I have found is I did Spirit Camp online for a year and a half during COVID. But what I found for the most part is really the mission of Spirit Camp is helping children disconnect from technology and connect to their inner world. And for the most part, the parents who really support that concept don't want their kids online. So, you know, once kids lives started going back to normal after COVID, I have found my online children's audience much smaller.

However, we do occasionally put a program online for the kids. But the teacher training program is one where we are hoping to train adults in in communities all over the U.S. to be able to bring this to children in person in their communities and in after school programs.

This is so great. And you are in a number of cities. Sorry, I'm just typing this thing in here really quick. I was just looking at it. So you have camps, in-person camps in a variety of cities throughout Maine, North Carolina, Oregon, Washington, and Wisconsin?

Correct. And then teachers can log in every month you're doing one of these classes to learn how to be a spirit camp leader? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay. This is so incredible, Ava. And private schools are also a really good place where people are able to connect and partner with facilities to bring these teachings to their community. So the churches that I mentioned earlier and private schools, those are perfect locations for spirit camps. So for the spirit camp teacher or someone who's looking to become a spirit camp teacher, there's already a built-in network all over the country of places to host a spirit camp. So like the networking is there already. We just have to tap into it and put the spirit camp teachers in each of those communities around the country to be able to support the heart and the spirit of all of the children in our communities.

Amazing. Super great. And there's a lot of churches that have summer camps. And maybe if you're looking for a curriculum or for another way to spice up the camp or offer a new kind of a camp, this would be a great program to bring into your summer camp for your church. This is just all so incredibly amazing and fun, and I love it. I'm so thankful that we connected, Ava, and I'm super grateful to have you on the show. Thanks for being here.

Thank you. It's been a pleasure. All right, parents, that's it for today. Make sure you head over to the website, noproblemparents.com. Sign up to get our emails. We're going to be giving away tips, tools, techniques and resources, updates on podcast episodes, roundtable events, and more. Check out NoProblemParents.com. For now, hugs and high fives. You got this.