Raising Confident, Resilient, and Compassionate Kids through Emotional Wellness with Special Guest Chelsea Elliot

Digital Audio Health by Cymotrax. Welcome to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Hey there, parents. Did you know there's a way to transform your kids' behavior?

That's right. I'm a parenting coach and strategist, and we're going to seek first to understand why your kids are behaving the way they are, so we can really go deeper with your own behaviors and what is happening in your relationship with your kiddos from the inside out to take the actions and steps necessary to problem solve and transform your parenting so that you can become the confident leader your kids crave you to be.

I promise you there is a solution for your parenting problems. Hey there, I'm Jackie Finnaman and after 30 years and more than 50,000 hours of working with countless kids and families ranging from the severe behaviors that required out-of-home placement to the, ah, she just doesn't listen to me anymore behaviors. There is a solution when you, the parent, feel confident. When you don't feel the need to rescue your kids and you aren't losing your cool and yelling all the time, your kid's behavior improves and your kids trust you.

They trust that no matter what they're going through, you are gonna help them get through it. No Problem Parenting supports and teaches parents how to be the best leader and advocate for your child. If you feel like no matter how nice you are or how strict you are, your kiddos are still struggling, it's time to get off the struggle bus and become the confident leader your kids craving to be. Join me on this journey of behavioral strategies and resources so that you can feel empowered as a parent again and turn your everyday parenting problems into no problem. All right, welcome back to No Problem Parents. I have a super fun, like I feel like She's my new bestie, virtual bestie, with us on the show today to talk all things social,

emotional learning. And you guys are not going to believe, you're going to be amazed by her products that she is putting out there on the market right now to help teach our kids all about emotional wellness. Let me introduce you to Miss Chelsea Elliott. Chelsea is an enthusiastic speaker, a parenting expert, a children's author, and an innovator.

Chelsea's approach to parenting is based on understanding how to handle our children's emotions and behaviors by understanding ourselves on a deeper level. We're all about that at No Problem Parenting. Chelsea uses her childhood experiences to share messages of hope and inspiration with children, teens, and adults alike. She's a certified emotional intelligence coach and holds a master's degree in social work from Boston College and a bachelor's degree in psychology from the University of Cincinnati.

Her work has been featured in media outlets like the Today Show, Parents Magazine, Black Enterprise, and Good Housekeeping, among others. Welcome to the show, Chelsea. Thank you so much. It's so wonderful to be here.

You, I mean, seriously, girl, you have done so much in such a short amount of time. I suppose it feels like an eternity for you. Yes. But in creating all of these materials and products and resources for kids, tell us a little bit about Somocom Lab and then we'll get into some questions.

Yeah, so Somocom Lab, the word Somocom is super made up. It is social emotional communication lab. So I created the company after the journey has been so it's one step at a time. There was no planning, no strategy in this at all whatsoever.

It was just like, oh, I'm supposed to do this. Okay, next I'm supposed to do this. So I wrote a book for my daughter while I was pregnant with my youngest during the pandemic. And as I was having the second book illustrated, I had this very clear vision of a card deck.

And it was so clear that I went on Amazon and was like, did I see this on here? Like, where did this come from? And I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I had to get it out of my head and I just like put it together.

I was like, okay, now it's out of my head. And it actually looks kind of cool. Like, let me see if I can get this printed. So I found a company to print them and I got it in my hand and I was like, oh, this is, this could be a real thing.

And then somebody was like, oh, you're going to need a boy version because it was all based on Natalie and the seven core emotions on the feeling wheel and, you know, expanding those emotional terms. And so there were 130 words on there, by the way. So I created 130 kid-friendly definitions for these words. So it wasn't just like, let me just hurry up and get this done.

It was like very thought out and very in a very detailed process. But once I heard that, like, you're gonna have to make one for everyone. I was like, I'm not doing that. That sounds bananas.

And then I got the idea to have this diverse group of kids that represent the world. Like they represent everyone as much as humanly possible. So I have kids with a disability. I have kids of different backgrounds and different genders and, you know, just making sure that they, that kids can see themselves in those children in the crew.

So it's the EQ kids crew and also learning to have empathy for people who don't look like them and people who are different from, from each other. Like somebody who doesn't look like you can also feel upset. Like it's okay. You know, somebody that doesn't look like you can be sad.

And so it, like I said, one step at a time, I remember on my birthday in 2021, my youngest daughter had just finally started sleeping a little bit more through the night, not very much, but a little bit more. And I woke up at four o'clock in the morning and I was so mad. And all of a sudden I heard EQ Kids Crew and I was like, oh, that's going to be the name. That's it.

Like it's done. And I went back to sleep and I was so excited. like okay one step at a time and so I don't know that's how it all came about it's just been kind of a ride ever since it's nothing planned and then all of a sudden it just things come into your mind and then you're like okay now I gotta do a little planning with these cards 130 did you say feeling cards 130 words on the emotion wheel so that's what I use and it's so weird I did so much research to find the guy that had created that wheel because I wanted to like make sure I could get the right credits or permissions and I found him and he was like sure go for it here's an updated version so on my website is the updated version of that wheel it looks a little different than the ones that are online that you can google but I was like if I wasn't supposed to be doing this this stuff wouldn't be happening the way it is I've been using that wheel for years decades and for me to have a new version of it by the creator like okay I'm gonna keep going with this and see where it goes. So no, none of this was planned. None of this was strategy. It was just my brain in overdrive. Well, and so your whole heart and passion is to raise confident,

resilient, and compassionate kids through emotional wellness. And I love, of course, to create those, those parents that are going to be confident leaders for their kids. But obviously that's the end goal is that we have confident, resilient, and compassionate kids. I love that you put resilient in there because we are not here to prevent our kids from going through hard things. We are here to help them be able to get through hard things, right? Yes. Yes. That's what I talk to teachers and educators and parents about all day, every day. Like you don't have to remove the challenge or prevent them from feeling this thing. Just help them work through it so that when they're by themselves, they know how to do that. Right. Because it's going to happen. We all have feeling it's okay for sure we just need to know how to get through it yeah and step three of no problem parenting i talk about change the conversation and that means we are not here to convince our kids to coerce our kids to try to bribe them into you know feeling okay or making things better for them um or get them to do things we are here really to raise them to um be be confident and and really feel and believe that they can get through any problem that comes their way. So before we go further, I do want to, sometimes I get ahead of myself and I forget that the listener may not always know what we're talking about. So let's talk a little bit about

what is that emotional wheel? So the emotion wheel has seven core emotions on it. There's happy, sad, mad, bad. So like the tired and sleepy and bored emotions, disgusted, surprised, and I always forget the last one.

Fearful. There we go. Scared's got to be in there somewhere. Yes, fearful.

And so it has those as the seven core emotions in the center of the wheel. And then those words get broken out into more in-depth words. So instead of just saying that you're angry, you could be feeling frustrated, right? So teaching kids how to drill down into that anger and really understand what they're feeling.

So do they feel frustrated? Do they feel aggressive? Do they feel humiliated or let down in that situation? So those are all different emotions in that same core.

And so giving them those words is really helpful for them to understand, one, what I'm feeling has a name, which means other people have felt it. And two, I can work through this. And then the third level breaks out each of the words in the second level into two separate words. So if they're feeling angry, they might be feeling frustrated.

And that frustration could be feeling annoyed or feeling infuriated. So those are the two words that that's broken out into. And so it just drills down further and further and further into the core emotions. Because a lot of people just know mad, sad, and happy.

And nobody wants to be mad or sad. Everybody wants to get to happy. And if a kid is feeling anything but happy, they have to get out of your face and go fix themselves and then come back to you with a smile on their face, right? And that's just not healthy.

That's not realistic. It's not, not helpful to anybody. It's just something that, you know, a way for us to cope as adults, but it's not serving our kids. Right.

Right. I don't like when, and I have a two-year-old and a six-year-old, both little girls. So I'm talking from learned experience, lived experience in the moment right now, what I'm dealing with. Um, I don't like when someone tells a child to just go, you know, go to your room and come back when you're ready.

They're not going to be ready. If they have negative self-talk, they're going to talk to themselves in a bad way that whole time in a negative way. So they're dealing with it in the way that they know, which is in a healthy way. So when you tell them, oh, get out of my face with this and go fix yourself and come back when you're ready, they're not fixing anything.

They're going to change their demeanor to please you, but they're still feeling the same feelings. They still have the same thoughts going through their head. And from working with the kids I work with now, they have very low self-esteem and low self-regard. And it is so sad and almost traumatizing to hear a kid say, I'm just a bad person because I make mistakes.

No, you're not. That's what they're playing in their head over and over again. I'm an idiot. I'm stupid.

I'm dumb. That's what they're telling themselves when they're going away to calm down. They're not saying all the positive things that you know about them. So I've been teaching parents, including myself, how to become their inner voice because our voice is their inner voice. The things that they hear us say to them or about them or even about ourselves becomes how they talk to themselves.

So if you can give positive affirmations before they need them, or, you know, I don't like this situation, but I still love you. This was not the right choice, but that doesn't make you a bad person. Those types of things over and over consistently, consistently, consistently saying that stuff over and over again is so important because our kids are struggling right now. And they are getting a lot of different messages from a lot of different places. And we don't want to break them as a person to make our lives easier. It is their job. It is their role in life to test the waters, figure things out. But we have to give them a safe space to do that and a healthy way to do that.

absolutely I wholeheartedly agree what would a what would a good interaction be for when a child is just completely not that they're melting down they're just being sassy they're being seems really intentional which a lot of times you know I always say people don't do this intentionally they're hurt or there's something you know there's something beneath the behavior it's not just the behavior right so what would be an example of something to say to your kiddo who is just digging in their heels, you know, backtalking, throwing a fit, whatever it is, rather than saying, pop off to your room. There's, there's something behind that. So give them space to talk. Hey, you're not in any trouble, but we need to talk about this. Can you tell me why you feel the way you feel? Do you want to draw it? Do you want to, you know, you want me to talk you through this? Can you share this with me? Can you tell me why you feel the way you feel? And letting them know that it's a safe space, giving them the space to talk without cutting them off,

or trying to justify or inserting yourself in their feelings, because you feel bad as a person for, you know, if they say, Oh, you made me feel this way. Well, I didn't mean to do that. That wasn't mine. That doesn't matter. That's how they felt about it. That's how they felt about it. And the more we give them space to talk and validate those feelings, whether we believe them or not, the more they're going to open up and share and be honest with it. So again, that has to be done consistently and it has to be proven time and time again that they can trust you and if they can't then they're not you know they're going to have those attitudes and not tell you what's going on but there is always always a reason for the way that they're acting no matter what it is yep i agree absolutely agree and sometimes they don't know sometimes it's frustrating for a parent too because we're trying to coach them on possibilities give them suggestions or ideas or what ifs or wondering or all of that. And the kids, they just don't know how to put words to their feelings and their emotions and they don't always need to, but what your resource is doing is helping them to be able to put words to that rather than just the broad, you know, core of the word,

happy, sad, mad, or scared. It's giving them, because there's different types of happy, there's different types of mad, there's different types of sad, there's different types of scared. So you're really coaching and teaching the kids, but this is a great tool for parents to be able to learn how to say those things themselves, right? Yeah.

I made it for the adults. The characters are cute. So it's for kids, quote unquote, but it's for the adults. Like we need this more than they do.

If we can get ourselves together, we can support them better. You can't expect them to have more self-regulation and self-control than you do. That's just not fair. And it's not practical.

Yep. Yep, absolutely. And so you do a number of things. You have a number of things.

I want to first mention the website. So it's somacomlab.com and then they can click on the store and there are all kinds of resources that you have in here. Your best selling item is the EQ Kids Crew.

That's like the full bundle set. Tell us what is all included in that. So I have the card game. There are 48 emotions in there because I wanted to narrow it down.

So it's not all 130 because you can't go from three emotions to 130. So it's just levels one and two. There are 10 self-regulation activities and 14 different scenarios, like relatable scenarios for kids so they can practice their words. You know, one kid might think that somebody would be sad in that situation and another might be mad in that situation.

So it's really good to get an idea of where kids are, what their thoughts are about certain things and just, you know, getting a deeper understanding of them with those different scenarios. There's also a spinning wheel. It has the seven core emotions on it. and I love to use the wheel with the kids when I say hey how do you feel right now and they're like I don't know a lot of times like 99% of the time my kids will say pull out the wheel because I don't know I want I want to see if I can find it on the wheel and I'm like okay so it just has the seven core emotions on it they can you know pick which one they want to do to randomize the card decks or they can just use it just to have conversation or just play with it because kids left to play with it. But I created the small spinning wheel because my first crew kid is autistic and he called it his clock and he has the big one, a nine inch one. And he carried it around his house and called it his clock. And he didn't want to do anything without his clock. And that was how his mom started to get him to talk because he was nonverbal for a long time. And she got him to talk using that clock about the emotions and how he was feeling. And now he is like super great at identifying his feelings and regulating himself. So it's really cool to see.

The spinning wheel for, we're going to have the link of the show notes, of course, when people are listening to this. So on the spinning wheel, there are seven kids corresponding to the seven emotions, and then their facial expressions are showing the emotion and the body language and the body language. Right. And so for kids who aren't verbal or who aren't sure how to, they can, they do know by looking at the pictures of the child, like which one do they feel like?

And so that's a really helpful thing for parents who have kids who are nonverbal young, young kids or, or on the spectrum or yeah. Yeah. Whoever that it works for all that. It was such a brilliant idea.

And then you have a feelings journal in there too, right? Yeah. So there's a feelings journal. It's a writing and drawing journal.

So they can, it's just a bullet journal, but it gives them space to write or draw depending on how they feel, what they want to do. but this is a great space for kids to get really creative and like own their books because my kids love to take all my journals and notebooks and write in every page every I'm like could you not take all my stuff so here's your own space to write and draw and color and destroy it's all yes oh and then there's a fidget spinner that comes with it and it's a fidget spinner and a pop it and it has three emotional faces in it it's like a little octopus um and then I have some different hand out some things for parents to remember, like a card with validating statements on it,

and a little sticker, a sticker sheet, and then all of it comes in a comfort bag, so the kids can use that bag to put their favorite stuff in. One of my friends has, her son puts his art supplies in there, it's like all his painting stuff, so you can use the bag to store the game, you know, take it with you wherever you're going, but the kid has their own journal, they have their own bag, you know, things that are their own that they can take ownership of. So as I'm saying all of this, it sounds like a whole lot of stuff, but it comes nicely packaged. Yeah. And it actually, it is a lot of stuff in this nice, neatly packaged little bag. It is really reasonably priced. It's super cool. And if they use up the journal, you sell the journal separately. So you can always order another one and talk about the game, the social emotional EQ kids crew game.

So the big game is what I started with. It's for people who already know the importance of feelings and emotions. They have already kind of, you know, been in that space. They're on their own healing journey and they want something to go even deeper.

So that one has all 130 emotion cards. It has 100 different self-regulation activities. So there are they're broken up into 50 comfort activities for emotions that are lower energy and calm body activities for emotions that are higher energy. We don't call them good or bad, positive or negative. They're just comfortable and uncomfortable, higher or lower energy.

And I let the kids decide which one they want, depending on that emotion and what they feel they would experience with that emotion. But for the game itself, with the cards, it has four different activities on it and they can pick to act it out. So role playing, what that emotion looks like. Talk about how it physically feels in their body to feel that.

Draw it out so they can write or draw in their journal and talk about a time that they felt that emotion. So they get an even deeper understanding of it. And then I also have what level that emotion is on on the wheel and the associated terms to go with it. So if it's a level one card, it has all the level two and level three words on it.

If it's a level two card, it has, you know, the level ones on the front and then it has all the level three cards that go along with it. And so I wanted to make sure everyone got a holistic view of these words so that they can make the associations that are needed for them to really, really understand what those feelings are. And I have used this with preschoolers. I had did a whole program this whole year.

It has been amazing. And it helped them so much with being able to verbalize what they were feeling. it's funny because the kids you know the teachers are like they just stop in the middle of the hallway and just start crying for no reason it's bursting of tears for no reason and now they're all saying I want my mom and dad like they know now why they're feeling that they know what they're feeling they know how it physically feels to feel what they're feeling and they're okay with it now and now they can tell us what what that reason is and it's like I don't I want to say it's probably 70 they're like I just want my mom and dad I'm like thank you for saying that this time and not just bursting into tears and not knowing how to speak up for yourself. So it's been really cool to see the transformation and to hear the success stories that have come out of using this game.

Yeah, it's so super cool. I would suggest that the EK Kids Crew Professional Bundle, it would be really great for daycares, preschoolers, kindergarten teachers, elementary teachers, for sure. After school programs have been big. Oh, after school programs. That's huge.

Yes. That's awesome. That's awesome. Okay. And you have a couple of books out that I want to make sure to mention to tell us about the, about the books. So Natalie, the monster slayer was the first book that I wrote. It started with me asking now, so we're home in the pandemic, you know, she's going through it. Like I miss people and me and my husband are like, the world is crumbling.

What are we doing? And so it started with me talking about fear with her. And I asked her, what sound does the vacuum cleaner make to you? Like something so random.

And she gave me a sound that was different than what I thought it was. And so I just started like writing down what the sounds were for her, like what she said they sounded like. And I wrote this book based on fear and finding bravery in that fear. So being courageous.

And the way I wrote it aligned so well with the game. But like I said, it was one step at a time. So the game wasn't even thought of when I did this. I wasn't thinking about the wheel.

I wasn't thinking about anything, but like, let me get this story out for her. and it goes through Natalie, you know, hearing a sound that wakes her up in the morning, and it scares her, so she has to, she's going through fight, flight, freeze, and it's figuring out what she's going to do, she gets really anxious, and then she, you know, finds her courage, she's really scared, and she's talking about what, like, the story is talking about what she's physically going through as she's feeling these things, as she's experiencing these emotions, and then she finally sees what it is, and she's like, oh, so I won't give away the ending, but, no, don't go, just gonna say, whoa whoa whoa uh that's natalie the monster slayer and then you also added natalie's not so fun play date how did that one come to be so that one came to be because we were playing tic-tac-toe and we were playing a lot of games during the pandemic because what else was everyone doing um and neither one of us likes to lose and so i was like we need to work through this time we can't we can't be sore losers i can't get upset that you know a three-year-old is winning this game instead of playing with her.

And she can't throw a fit and a tantrum every time she loses. And so we came up with this and like we're doing different self-regulation activities and I'm affirming her and giving her mantras. Like, it's okay, I'll get it next time. That's okay, I'll get it next time.

And different things that were really working for her and that were affirming, I was like, this is working. So I just, I don't know how it all really happened, but a book happened. And you provide parent coaching. Yes, I do.

So I, that's like one of my favorite because parents come to me in desperation thinking they're doing everything wrong. And I'm like, you're not doing everything wrong and you need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. So let's work through how you can stop doing that. You don't have to control every move your child makes.

It's okay for you to breathe. So that just relieves them so much, you know, and I absolutely love to see people. I call it cycle breaker Academy and, you know, just helping people break cycles in their families that feel like they don't have the support that would help them to continue being consistent because, you know, nobody likes to be judged as a parent. You don't like to, you know, your kids to be the one doing all the things, but everyone's on their own journey, including our kids. And we have to respect that. We have to allow them to be their own person and help guide them through these challenges instead of trying to control each and every move that they make. So how do we stop allowing that judgment from other people? And, you know, our triggers from our childhood and different things that we stop allowing that to be at the forefront of our parenting and let them be their own person. Yeah, absolutely. And not feel like we have to stop every behavior. Yes. I think that's a really big thing that when kids are melting down, I mean,

I teach this all the time. I help role modeling or training at daycares and things too. And it's like, sometimes the kids just need to throw a little fit, get it out of their system. It's bottled up inside and they just kind of need to let it happen. So as long as they're in a safe space and they can do that let you know go ahead and let them do that trying to get them to stop in the heat of the moment it just like adds fuel to the fire right it just makes things worse so then there's like this never-ending cycle of you're trying to get them to stop they can't stop so then you're trying harder and then they're pushing back even harder and then you're getting really mad and upset so then you start punishing them then they get even more upset like it's just never-ending yeah never-ending but we don't have to control each and every and one thing that i asked myself one day like my daughter was getting upset about something I was like and now I ask everybody this all my parents how would you want them to show that they're upset what do you want to see from them when they're mad is it okay for them to stomp is it okay for them to slam something is it okay for them to hit a pillow is like what is okay for them to do because we we always say like you need to stop doing that stop doing that stop doing that stuff what can they do yeah what are you okay with them doing what are you what should you be okay with them doing that you're

not okay with and why like those types of things are we expecting more out of our kids when we have reactionary responses to things when we're stressed tired hungry pressured whatever it is we have this and are we expecting our kids to have it more together than we than we do always Yeah. Right. I mean, that's, that's, that's true. That's where we're very often. It's like the kid's job to behave just to make our life easier. And that if that's the way you're thinking, reach out to a coach or a mentor or somebody that can help you get your poop in a group, get your act together, because that is not your child's responsibility to be able to know how to do all these and just keep peace for your sanity.

It's our jobs as leaders. We signed up for that when we became parents. But doesn't that start at conception? Like at the very beginning where, you know, you push your stomach out to make your baby look like it's bigger in there and it's really a little itty bitty tiny, not even, you can't see it outside of a microscope, you know?

Right. And then we rush them to come out of the womb. And then we rush them to have a sleep schedule. And we rush them to potty train and to talk and to walk.

And it's always constantly rushing, rushing, rushing, and never allowing them to be who they are and to have their own timetable because they have to fit into a society that was not built for families. Like, yeah, exactly. And I say, like, how many times do we, we can't wait until they can buckle their own car seat and go potty by themselves and tie their own shoes and do all these things. And then all of a sudden they become teenagers and we pull the reins back in and we don't let them do anything because we're so scared and we're warning them constantly.

And so then it's like, I mean, what is happening, parents? You know, we should be seeking for independence, not rushing it, seeking for independence, but then giving them the skills and the tools and the reciprocal trust and relationship with us that tells them, you know what? My mom and dad don't freak out when I make mistakes, you know, or I misbehave. I can trust them. Not just that they're going to love me through it, but they actually understand me and are there for me no matter what happens in my life. So we're building that trust and reciprocal relationship. And our kids know then that if something does happen, that's really bad, even though it might be hard, they're going to come to us and they're going to tell us.

And I think Somocom Lab is really, I think it should just be like handed out at hospitals and just sent right home with the parents. Yeah, I do appreciate that. And it's, it's, it stems from my own childhood and like things that I wish I had and needed when I was younger and things that I want my kids to have in this world now, you know, and so I'm, I'm here for anyone who's willing to listen to what I have to say and to learning something new and implementing practices that are simple and practical and, you know, easy enough to do, but relieve us of some of our, some of our control over our kids, because they need to, they need to have that autonomy early so that as they do get older, we don't feel like we have to pull the reins back so bad because, oh, they're not ready. Well, why aren't they ready? Why have you been taking so much control over every single move they make that they, you don't trust that they can be okay at 18, or you don't trust that they could be okay at 23. Like you got to reel it back yourself, not them. Right. Yeah. I think there's kind of, there's that pendulum that sometimes it's a parent that just is so fearful and worried and never wants their child to hurt or suffer. And then on the other end of the pendulum, it's the parent that's saying,

you aren't smart enough to figure things out on yourself. I have to tell you what to do, how to do it, when to do it. And I'm going to keep, you know, they have all this control over everything and both types of children as they grow and head off to college or whatever their next path is in their life. Maybe they won't leave your nest because they're afraid of making mistakes or afraid of the world, right? I think both sides of that pendulum have the risk of our children not feeling capable and confident and self-secure in who they are. And so you have your parent coaching, but you also do workshops and you have workshops for educators, for parents, you have emotional wellness for kids. So tell us a little bit about those options.

Yeah, I have a lot of different workshops focused on emotional wellness in every area. So, you know, with employers and employees and leadership, customer service, even my husband's always worked in that type of industry and the things that he has been told and, you know, horrible, horrible, horrible things that he's had to deal with. and he's able to bounce back from it and be resilient. And so we talked about it and I came up with a framework that worked really well for him and works for other people and having respectful and emotionally intelligent communication in order to have successful transactions in whatever area you're in, whatever relationship that you're in.

And so I talk to everyone again because I wanna make sure people understand that our humanity always comes first. You cannot remove humanity from the workplace. You can't remove it from interactions, random interactions with strangers that you'll never see again. You just can't remove the humanity from that.

Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. And how can you do that? And then when someone's not doing that, how can you not internalize those things in yourself? How can you take care of yourself in a way that is longstanding, not expensive, something simple that you can do every day?

So a lot of self-care work, just any topic on emotional wellness, because I want people to know that they can be okay. Another thing that I like about your, about the way that you teach and educate on feelings is it's not about feelings like, like, oh, you know, when we're going to, you know, we're going to get super vulnerable and, you know, like all that kind of stuff. It's matter of fact. Yeah.

They're feelings. They're natural. They're in the workplace. They're in the schools. They're in, you know, it's like exactly right. We all have them.

And I think we don't need to make such a big deal about them. We just need to recognize them for what they are and then address them, acknowledge them. And as we say in the Midwest, keep her moving. Yeah. Right. Yeah, that's exactly it. So I'm trying to normalize the conversation around emotions. So I talked very openly about my battles with depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation, anxiety, ADHD, because I have it. Like, that's what I dealt with. That's what led me to where I am.

And I tried so hard to compartmentalize everything. Like, okay, I'm in school full-time. I'm working, you know, full-time. I have friends and family that I need to catch up with. And I'm just going to keep all of those so separate and, you know, not take my home life to work and not bring work home and blah, blah. That doesn't work. It doesn't work. You as a human are going through all of these things at one time and they're all coming with you everywhere you go. And the more I tried to hold that stuff in, the sicker I got. Physically ill. I had ulcers constantly. I was so sick. My mental health suffered for it. I tried so hard to push it down and ignore it and, you know, work it away and then pray it away and do all these things. My faith is so much stronger now that I've been in therapy. Like I now know God and that's how I see it. So I'm also on medication.

Like sometimes you just need stuff and that's okay. Right. But I'm trying to normalize the conversations around that and to acknowledge the humanity in professionalism and in being a parent. there are so many people that think oh you're a parent so your life just doesn't exist anymore no bump that my kids know mommy needs time I taught them privacy please don't bother me in the bathroom everybody knows that around here and my kids will say the same thing and I give them that autonomy oh you want privacy let me get out of your way thank you so building those skills early acknowledging the humanity that everyone should be allowed to have and normalizing these conversations. That's my jam. That's what I do. So your website is the best place for people to go to find everything out. It's all just neatly laid out there. The store is there, the workshops,

the parent coaching, all the things at SomocomLab.com. I'll have a link in the show notes for anybody that doesn't know how to spell that. Thank you so much, Chelsea, for being with me today. You are so welcome. I am so grateful to be on your show and to be in company with you because you are awesome sauce. I appreciate you. All right, parents, that's it for today. Make sure you head over to the website, no problem. Parents.com sign up to get our emails. We're going to be giving away tips, tools, techniques, and resources updates on podcast episodes, round table events, and more. Check out no problem. Parents.com for now hugs and high fives.

You got this. you