Turn Overwhelm & Uncertainty into Confidence; Paying Attention to the signs God is putting in your path with Special Guest Kristin Fields-Chadwick

Welcome back to another episode of the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Hey you guys, today I have a special guest with me. Her name is Kristen Chadwick and she was literally brought to her knees with overwhelm and uncertainty after the birth of her twins. In today's episode you're going to learn about Kristen's aha moment when she not only started paying attention to the signs that God was sending her, she was paying close attention to the things that she otherwise hated or the things that annoyed her.

And it's in those things that she discovered what she actually needed. Kristen is the owner of a boutique-style podcast production company. She's the host of Holistic Hearts Podcast, which is a podcast that's pursuing wholehearted, holistic living. And she's also a Holy Spirit-led life coach.

She's the mama of four kids, including twins. And at one point, they were all under the age of four. three in diapers. Can you even imagine? And she is married to her husband, Joshua, for over 15 years. Oh, I enjoyed my conversation with Kristen so much. I look forward to talking with her more.

We learned some things about each other just during this episode. And I'm going to share a little bit of my experience at the very end of the episode. I didn't want to take too much time during my conversation with Kristen, but she's really talking about how she paid attention to the signs that God was putting in her path so that she really could learn about her identity, who she was, who she was called to be, who God was calling her to be.

And she also talks about the support that she received as a new mom with her first child by attending MOPS groups. So the Mothers of Preschoolers, go to MOPS.org to learn about a group in your area. So just listen in today, guys.

It's going to be a fun episode, realistic, real-life, down-to-earth stuff. And I hope you enjoy the conversation. just as much as I did. All right. Well, welcome to the show, Kristen. I'm very happy to have you here today. We're going to kind of jump right into things. I'll have you start off by telling us a little bit about your journey, but I'm super curious about why you say that motherhood brought you to your knees. Oh, this is such a great question. So hello everyone. I'm, I'm Kristen Fields Chadwick of holistic hearts podcast. I love this question because my heart is for those moms that are feeling overwhelmed. So a little bit of my story, I had four kids under the age of 30.

I first started feeling overwhelmed when I was nursing my second kiddo and I found out I was pregnant with twins and they were 21 months apart. And so by the time that they were born, I had three babies. They were all in diapers. Uh, my second son would not ever sleep. Uh, he just refused to be apart from me. He refused to be in a room by himself. And so when I say motherhood brought me to my knees, I really was literally on my knees, um, crying in the hallway as my son would cry in his crib. And then I would have two newborns in my room, you know, in between nursing and just trying to balance it all and felt so overwhelmed with, I do not understand. I am not equipped for this job. I don't know what to do. Um, and it really came to a point of identity crisis of like, okay, I've been a believer most of my life and I am praying and I'm crying and I'm on my knees and I'm asking the Lord for help. And it doesn't feel like anything is shifting. I'm trying to do my Bible study. I'm trying to serve on our ministry team. I'm trying to like check in all the boxes of what a good Christian quote unquote mom wife should be. And yet I felt completely overwhelmed with inadequacy, anxiety, overwhelm. And so when I say motherhood brought me to my knees, it really did humble me in a huge way to where I couldn't do it on my own. So I began to seek him and say, there has to be more than this.

And he really showed up once I just surrendered of like, I cannot do this on my own. And my husband was gone a lot. He was a teacher. And so life of a teacher, bless them. He, I mean, he was up and gone before the sun came up and came home late. And so it was, it was literally me and four babies under my roof and asking for help, asking for clarity. And the way that God showed up was, I love how he just answers in a way that is way more than we could ever ask for. And so through friends and community, I had a mentor, uh, through my mops group at church. If you don't know what mops is, it's moms and preschoolers. Um, this lady at my table said, Hey, I'm coming over. It wasn't even a question. It was, I'm coming over every Friday and I'm going to clean your house and my girls, she had twin girls that were 13. And she said, my girls are going to watch all your kids and you need to get out of the house for an hour. And I was like, okay. And it was the biggest blessing because you don't ever get to leave when you're, I mean, you're still nursing and you know, who wants to come into a house full of kids and clean and yeah, it was amazing.

So things like that and people bringing us meals and just so much kindness. And then the Lord brought a friend into my life that was such a God-given gift. I was asking big questions in that season of who am I? I'm a believer, but how does this play out in my motherhood?

How does this play out in real everyday circumstances while my two-year-old's having a fit? And my twins are crying and my four-year-old wants to do something, but I can't do it. And like, how do you do, how do you do this in real life? And this friend of mine, her name is Jenny.

She's been on my podcast before I call her my Holy spirit friend, Jenny, because she really introduced me to how Holy spirit can infuse into your everyday life. And so for me, what that looks like was watching her be an example of, Hey, you know what? Your heart is really important and your spiritual walk should be baseline. And when you start believing who you are, your identity, and that God actually created you to be these four kiddos moms, then that changes everything.

Then you walk into the room with confidence. You walk into the room without anxiety and overwhelmed because you're like, this is just a moment. And it's not like, oh, I can't do this. The narrative starts to change inside of your brain of from going to, I can't do this too.

Okay. We got this. And it's just one moment, one step at a time, and I'm created to be their mom. And I know intuitively what needs to happen. And if I don't, I can always ask for, for help.

So with her help, my friend, Jenny, um, I really stepped into, okay, God, what is my identity and diving into that and listening and learning that, um, you know, just different tools to help create the atmosphere of peace in our home because it was very chaotic, uh, and learning to, to take ground, um, in our home and stand in that confidence of, Hey, I'm bringing peace in here. And so what that looked like was, you know, turning on worship during the day or pausing before I got everybody out of the car and their car seats and just taking a moment for myself and checking in and being like, okay, like deep breath transition time. Or it looks like getting in the car with everybody strapped in and, and screaming at the top of my lungs and having everybody scream. I remember, uh, this older lady that was mentoring me about the same time.

And she said, I used to just buckle my kids in and we'd be like, okay, everybody freak out. and we would all get buckled in and then we would all scream at the top of our lungs and then it would be fine. Like just had to get that pent up, like rush out of the door, crazy franticness. And you got your diaper bags and you got the snacks and the sippy cups and the diapers and that make sure that you get an extra set of clothes and all those things and the hurry up, hurry up. Um, but what that did for me in that season was actually acknowledge my heart of stepping into the van, taking that deep breath and acknowledging that it just was crazy and we can let it out instead of stuff it down and stuff it down and stuff it down.

And so we all would scream for three seconds. Like you had to scream at the top of your lungs and then that was it. But it was so cathartic because we were all feeling the intensity. So little, little examples like that, where just really being aware of where I was at acknowledging and anchoring myself into who God has called me to be.

And as a mother, as a woman, as a wife, and that really shifted so much. I mean, yes, it's a learning and a growth process. And we are always continuing to walk that out. Um, not like I have arrived at all, but I can say that I went from a very chaotic internal person and asking many, many questions of how the heck do you do this in real life?

And watching that actually transform into a more grounded and, and peaceful place of myself, which then turned into a more peaceful place for my kids to come into that. And, um, I mean, it affected our marriage in a huge way. Yeah. So it's, it's a lot.

It is a lot. I'm just like, I've been like jotting notes down because there are so many questions I have for you. So it was a, you had a four-year-old, a two-year-old and then twins, like 21 months apart from the, like, okay. That's a lot of holding babies. That's a lot of who gets my time and who gets set down and who doesn't, you know, all those things.

So very overwhelming. I would have fallen down to my knees. I'm not sure I would have made it through that had I not had God and people in your community to come and help you out. I love that woman.

Thank her for me. Whoever that was at the mops group that just didn't even ask and came. That's my kind of, my kind of mom. She knew because she had twins, right?

So she could, she just sensed it. She just knew you're overwhelmed. I mean, you were desperate for something to change for sure. but I love that you were also open to the support and to the help. Was there a time when you were like, I have to do this on my own. If I don't do this on my own, there's something wrong with me, or it means I failed. Or were you super open to having the support and the help?

I really did feel supported. I think, thankfully another friend of mine, when my first was born, She was like, Kristen, you have to get into a mops group. And I remember I was like, no, I am not a crafty mom. And she was like, no, it's not about the crafts. And I know every mops is different, but this particular mops was very focused on creating community. And I mean, they did craft stuff like once a quarter. So it was very much my jam and, and to get plugged in right away, as soon as I was a mom, uh, was everything. And to be able to see women that had already walked that road, you know, maybe they were three or four years down the road from me and hearing, Oh, I'm not alone in this. Like you had a diaper explosion too. And that's like,

like we can talk about those things and, you know, that a husband may not quite, at least in my situation, you know, he was like, okay, like, yeah, you had a diaper explosion. I'm like, no, but you don't understand. It was like at the grocery store and I had to like change it. And like, you know, where you're just at another group, a group of women who totally get it and they might be a little bit further along. So that was huge for me. And I, I'm a lifelong learner. So I just soaked up every mops teacher. I tried to go on mops weekends. So in that, I really felt like I could ask for help and that that was normal. Hey, so-and-so had a baby.

We're all going to make a meal for her. And I will say there was a bit of pride in me where I think with each subsequent child that was born was like, um, I want to ask for help, but it does feel a little bit humbling. Like I can't do it all. So I do think that there was that tug, but I do, I love that. I had a friend at the very beginning say, Hey, be plugged in and that being plugged in and seeing other women walk it out and needing help was kind of like the permission to ask for help. Yeah. Good. Good. And I think because sometimes I have, you know, I've had moms where they've been embarrassed or they felt less than if they needed help or had to ask, even though they craved it, like they really knew they needed it. So I was just wondering,

I was just curious about your, your experience with that and how that worked. Having the four kiddos at home, what was your first, like when you met Jenny and she started to, what was the, what was the key thing she said to you that kind of got you to the point where you were like, I need to look at myself and my identity in this and where, you know, why, why God called me to be the mom of four or why the situation has been so difficult. Cause sometimes I think we're like, why does it have to be so difficult? You know, like, what am I doing wrong? Am I creating this?

Am I making this harder than it needs to be? Or is this like a punishment for something I've done? or, you know, I mean, I think we, honestly, we do think in hard times, we think, we think about that stuff. What was it that Jenny helped you step into your identity and become anchored?

And why was that so important? That's a great question. So I have to kind of rewind. So when I, I was really on my knees and tears over just being exhausted. I, one of my prayers was there's gotta be more than checking off the list of the Bible study and getting up and doing a quiet time, even though I'm so exhausted, like, see God, I got up at, you know, five, even though I've been up since, you know, one with a kid that doesn't want to sleep and, you know, just feeling like I'm trying to earn my merits here and nothing is happening. And, um, I had this moment of, you know what? I, I never really have thought about who the Holy spirit is. And I grew up in Georgia and then in my environment, it was not really talked about. It was just kind of like the woo woo part of God. So I started asking, okay, well, who is the Holy spirit? Cause I feel like there's a connection there that I need to know. And so what happened with Jenny is she was speaking at a Bible study and she was talking on what is the Holy spirit, who is the Holy spirit.

And I was like, Oh, that's really weird. That was exactly my question. And the way that she presented it was so tender and adventurous and exciting and joy filled and intriguing that when she got off the stage, I actually met her in the back of the room. And I was like, will you be my friend? Cause I had so many questions and she was like, absolutely.

And so we began to meet for coffee and then she invited me to a retreat and at this retreat specifically, you know, I brought all of those hard questions of who are you God, who I like, how does this work every day? How, how does this actually affect me personally in my everyday motherhood. And by miracle, I was able to go to this retreat. I think the twins were at that point two. Um, my second was four and then my daughter was six. And at this retreat, um, one of the teachings was talking about identity. And I had heard like all the, you know, like you can read all the verses that are like, you're a daughter of the King. You are wonderfully made all of those things, which are great. But then this, this woman, her name is Angie Toth. She started to say,

Hey, um, today we're going to listen for your identity. And I was like, I'm sorry. And she was like, you're going to take some time and you're going to ask God, like, what specifically do you bring to the table? And to me, that was like a fresh step of like, oh, this is interesting. And in that talk, she said something that really hit hard and I don't know how else to explain it other than it just stuck. And I wrote it down in my journal and she said, Hey, I want you to pay attention to the things that you have hated because sometimes the enemy will take something and flip it because he knows it's actually a huge gift from, from God.

and he doesn't want you to discover it. And so for whatever reason I wrote in my journal, a peacock. And so, and the reason why peacock came up, I think because I was going to the zoo all the time with my kids and at the Colorado Springs zoo, there's peacocks that wander around or they used to wander around randomly and they're very annoying. They're very loud. And when they do their feathers, they just, it just put me off and they would steal my kids goldfish crackers.

And, you know, like for whatever reason, they really annoyed me. So I wrote that down in my journal and then what happened was crazy. So, um, uh, so we, in that talk, we go off to listen. I'm like, I don't hear anything.

I really don't think God's speaking to me. So then I go upstairs to their dining room table and there's, um, like, uh, amazing paper, scrap paper everywhere. and I noticed a peacock paper. So I just stick it in my journal. I was like, oh, that's funny.

I stick it in there. And then the next meeting that we go to, they hand out a prayer card for everybody to read. And on the background is a peacock, like the prayers written over a peacock. And I was like, that's weird. So then I put that in my journal. And then later that evening, their handing out scarves as a prayer scarf, like just something to remember and to just remind yourself, Hey, you are clothed around by his righteousness. And, uh, the leader was like, Hey, I, you know what? I think somebody in here is not supposed to get this scarf. There's actually a different scarf. And another woman that was attending jumped up and she was like, Oh my gosh, I'll be right back. So she runs to her suitcase, comes back and she's holding this, um, peacock scarf in her hand. And I was like, it's mine. It's totally mine. And she was like, I unpacked it and packed it and unpacked it and packed it. But God was like, no, you need to bring this. And, um, so this lady gave me this peacock scarf. And that was the like starting point of like, oh my gosh,

like, Lord, you're so much bigger and more involved in details than I ever could imagine. And so my identity, that was the beginning of my identity statement. It is the beginning of my identity statement is I am his peacock and unpacking that over the years of, okay, what are the reasons why I couldn't stand peacocks? Their voice is annoying.

Well, God says that my voice is actually healing and that's why I record encounters and the peacocks are very beautiful. And so learning to walk in my identity as a mom, as a wife, as a woman and embracing my beauty and my femininity is huge. I have many colors. So as a peacock has many colors, even on one feather. So I have many colors as I own multiple businesses. And I, there's just a plethora of things that I have grounded myself in that specific identity, which has been so cool because with that, we have been able to listen on behalf of our kids and ask Holy Spirit, the father, like, what do you have specifically for each of our kids? And to be able to pray into that for each of them, it's just overwhelmingly anchoring. That's the only way I could describe it. It just allows, like I said, in the beginning, it allows you to walk in whatever role you're playing with confidence of like, Hey, this is who God's called me to be.

And to have our kids witness a transformation of both parents walking through their own identity story is pretty amazing. So yeah. Wow. This is okay. So you and I don't know this about each other, but we're learning today. Um, the gold Finch is the logo of my company. And I noticed that on your holistic hearts.com, your, your logo is the, or the first thing that you see is the peacock when you pull up that page. So I was going to ask you about that too. So thank you for that.

And I do. And the other thing I wanted to say too, real quick is the confidence piece. When you, you know, really got anchored in your identity, you could become confident. That's what you're doing now. You're helping that overwhelmed mom through your spirit empowered coaching, right. To find that identity and to really anchor into that. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. That is, oh, I love coming alongside, especially young moms who feel that overwhelmed and exhausted and just lost in the to-do list, the shuffle. Um, and that is my heart is to come alongside clients that are hungry for more or they're numb. They're tired of checking that box. Um, Maybe they open their Bible out of duty instead of out of like a passion for wanting to delight in him.

What my coaching does, I have three different packages. So one is all about kingdom identity. So it's, it's basically walking through what I walked through, but in a very short version. So we would talk about who he is, who you are, how to listen, creating a mission statement, developing goals off of that.

Then there's the longing for more, which is really just focusing in on your spiritual development and how you can do that everyday life. The third one is holistic wellness, which is the whole picture. So mind, body, and spirit. So a lot of my journey, which I didn't really share very much, but I have autoimmune issues, which kicked in to major high gear as soon as the twins were born.

And so that whole journey of wellness has been a big part of my story. So I love helping people tap into their own intuition as far as how to heal and begin to step into really owning their own stuff. So we talk about mind, body, and spirit in the holistic wellness coaching package. So, and, and, and anytime you say intuition, one of my favorite quotes that I received when I left my first job as a paraprofessional for the school district, I received from my supervisor.

It said, we need to let our intuition guide us and then follow that guidance directly and fearlessly. Yes. I absolutely love that quote. And I've, I've remembered it for years.

The other thing before we wrap up today, because we're going to have to get going. I there's many, I'm going to have to have you back on Kristen because there's so much like what we talked about today that I can go in deeper to, for instance, you know, that taking that pause, I teach that in, in, um, my no problem parenting course as well. I think it's, it's, uh, overlooked a lot like that people think, ah, that's not going to work or what does that really do? But yes, taking that just six seconds to just pause and get your bearings and kind of, all right, I got this. But the other thing I love is the scream that you did with your kids or that you do with your kids, you're giving them permission to do it. So it doesn't have to come out unexpectedly, right? You're just like, yes, I feel it too. Let's just, you know,

get it out of our system. And often when we give our kids permission to do something like that, it prevents it from happening when you, you know, don't have time for it to happen kind of thing. So I love that too. So we're going to have, I'm going to have to have you on and we're going to have to talk about more of that in the moment kind of parenting stuff and how you prepare for the worst. That's a great example of that. But yeah, before we wrap up, I also wanted to say, so the goldfinch story that I have where the goldfinch is my logo. I'm not going to share that today, obviously, because this is all about you. But I did look up the spiritual meaning of a goldfinch when I knew that God, you know, I was asking the questions too, like, what God, what do I do?

I was kind of unhappy in my work. And, and so I looked up the peacock real quick and the spiritual meeting of the peacock is sent to you to send the message that you have the ability to see and understand with the eye of the heart, use loving wisdom and perceptive vision in dealing with those around you today. And so for all the listeners today, please go listen to Kristen's podcast as well. Um, it's the holistic hearts podcast, and I don't remember what episode it is, but there's an episode that you share about re-engaging your heart. Yes. Yeah. And I know the heart, you know, that heart work is big for you. So I just found it really interesting that the peacock is saying that you have that ability to see and understand with the eye of the heart.

So, Oh, I love that. Well, and I want to mention too, um, so that re-engage your heart, it's a whole course. So it's a five week course of, um, tapping back into your heart when you have felt disconnected. That is one of my favorite courses that I have. So how people can follow or get in touch with me, I have a website, www.KristenFieldsChadwick.com. And I also am on Instagram at Kristen Fields Chadwick and the same Facebook. And I also have a private Facebook group called mind, body, spirit, holistic faith for moms on there. So everything will be in the show notes.

thank you very much Kristen for being with me today I look forward to connecting with you more in the future absolutely I would love it before I wrap up this episode I did want to talk just a little bit about the goldfinch and why that is the logo for hello world and no problem parenting and really it just never ceases to amaze me how paying attention to the signs that God and the universe are sending to us can really help us discover our identity and our true purpose or our calling in this world and help us become the confident person that God has created us to be.

Now in the next episode, I'm going to share how my longtime colleague and friend Pam opened my eyes to the subtle signs and the messages that God was sending to me starting in 2012 when I was at a crossroads in my life and in my career and I was really filled with overwhelm and uncertainty. I was sitting in my home office and I heard a knock on my window and I just kind of ignored it. I was typing an email. I had just gotten off the phone with an employee that wasn't performing well.

And it was just kind of a stressful day. I had probably, I don't even remember, a thousand emails in my inbox. I had worked until one the night before, just super tired and exhausted and not loving my job. and you know so this this tap tap tap on my window I just kind of disregarded it and ignored it and then I heard it again and I finally I turned around and I see this beautiful goldfinch that was perched on my windowsill so I just like it really took me back it's kind of it seems sort of weird now to even talk about it but in that moment I just I stopped and I kind of stared at it and I was like smiling like wow I've never seen a goldfinch in my yard we've been in our house for 12 years and we live in the country. You wouldn't think that'd be so abnormal, but I'd never seen one. I reached for my BlackBerry phone that's dating me, right? We're back in 2012 here and was able to snap a picture. And I could not believe that the goldfinch didn't fly away.

I ended up taking three pictures of it and it kept turning its head kind of side to side and looking at me, you know, bright yellow with a black like eye mask. And I just, all of a sudden I got overwhelmed kind of with emotion and I started to cry, teared up. And I started to talk to my mom. She'd been gone. Well, she's been gone 17 years now. So at the time, eight years. And I often would talk to mom when I was feeling overwhelmed or just stressed out or whatever.

And so I just said, I know, I know, I know, mom, I need to stop this madness. I'm tired. I'm crabby. I'm drained. I'm going to stop. I'm going to get it together. I'm going to figure this out.

and so I just had this moment with the goldfinch and it ended up before it left it like flew three circles and it fluttered its wings up against the windowsill as if it was like dancing with its reflection and it was just so cool so you know the goldfinch flies away and I just felt this like I don't even know how to describe it but like divine intervention or something right I got back to work and you know went on with the rest of my day the next day I was at our main office in Wilmer, Minnesota. It was about an hour from me. And my colleague and friend Pam was there and she said, hey, we have to, I told her about the goldfinch visiting me. And she said, we have to look that up. We have to look that up. That's a sign. The goldfinch is there visiting you to send you a message. I was so skeptical. I was like, yeah, okay, Pam, whatever. But then she looked up the message of the goldfinch and literally I was like, you've got to be kidding. I need to,

I need to really think about this. I need to pray about this and I need to pay attention to this. So in my next episode, I'm going to go into more details about what the message was from that goldfinch. And I look forward to sharing it finally with all of you eight years after starting my company. Um, just kind of a fun thing and a fun experience that I'd like to share with you. So I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks everybody. Bye-bye.

Thank you.