From Crappy to Happy: Crushing Mom Guilt and Igniting Inner Greatness with Trina and Tara from Power Mom

Hey, welcome back. No problem parents on this self-care Sunday. It's an extra special one. We have the incredible Trina from Power Mom on the show. Trina and Tara are authors, speakers, and health enthusiasts bringing their expertise to empower moms in crushing mom guilt and embracing inner greatness. Their transformative book, Crush Mom Guilt, provides insights on overcoming feelings of regret and imperfection that often accompany motherhood. Today, Trina shares tools and practical tips from our discussion about the four power components and the daily practice that empowers moms to boost energy, confidence, and self-love without the burden of mom guilt. Take care of yourself starting today with a few tools that you have immediate access to that do not cost you a thing. All right, let's do it. Hey there, parents. Thanks for listening to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Are you ready to become the confident leader your kids crave you to be?

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You're tired of pretending everything's okay. If your confidence is shot and you feel like you're failing your kids, register to become a no problem parent. You can start building confidence in your parenting immediately, whether your child is a toddler or all grown up and still living in your house. Don't make this parenting gig harder than it needs to be.

Become a no problem parent today. I am so excited to have you with me today, Trina. Welcome to the show. Oh, Jackie, thank you so much for having me and joining on.

I love it. We are going to talk about the four power components and some simple tools for mom, a daily practice and how moms can incorporate this to become that power mom and to crush their mom guilt. What inspired power mom? How'd you guys get going with this? Yeah. So, you know, this is the part where Tara usually jumps in and she gets to tell her story. So I'm going to just ad lib that for her, but we had, the twins were about a year old and I was staying at home with the kids and Tara was working at a corporate job and she just got to a point. And there was one specific night that she slid into the car, um, from after a long day at work and she just felt overwhelmed. And the, the challenge of going from a corporate world and then having to transition into mom life was overwhelming for her. And she remembers slamming her hands on the steering wheel and just breaking down and crying.

And she had to pull over and just fill all the fills, you know, and I think we've all had that moment as a parent, as a mom of like, I just can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. And so she came home and the moment she walked in the door, I looked at her and she just had this look on her face of just, and I was like, what is wrong? You know, I was concerned and she's just like, we need to sit down and talk.

And so we did. And we really just walked through like what she was experiencing. And what she didn't know at the time is that I was experiencing a lot of the same things. And it was just more that we've, we were losing ourselves. We're losing ourselves and being a mom and being overwhelmed with, you know, twins and all that comes with the, the beauty of that, but also the challenges that come with being a new parent and adjusting your lives to that. But I was, I was coming from the perspective of like, I'm at home all the time with these kids. You're out being more social than I am. She walks in the door. I want to be social.

She doesn't want to talk to anybody, you know? And so you have these worlds coming together. And so we talked about, you know, let's reach out. Let's see what we can do to find some way to help us. Now our backgrounds, we're collegiate athletes. As you mentioned, we both went to massage therapy school. We've been really into health and wellness, but we were starting to lose some of that. So we said, let's, let's reach out and see if we can find somebody that can help us get that back.

And at the time we couldn't find anything for moms specifically. And so we just said, you know what, if we're not the, we can't be the only mom struggling with this. Like, there's no way that every mom in the face of this earth must be experiencing some of this. So we decided to create an online program that it reflected everything we've done to get to the place we are now, which is way different, where we love life.

We create time for ourselves. We don't feel, not that we don't have days that we don't feel overwhelmed. Come on, we're just as human as everybody else. Well, right, yeah.

And so I guess that's where we really got started with Power Mom is just having that servant heart to help other moms because we didn't want them to either go through what we were going through or to, if they were, to be able to step in and have some tools to help them out to feel better about life. So we have our program and then we wrote the book and the book really goes through a lot of the power components as well.

The online program dives a little bit deeper, but the book we really wanted to give some great tips and tools for moms to actually do right away. So with every chapter of the book, there's what we call a power mom action step to get moms going right away to be able to make some simple changes in their lives right from the get go. But we do base it on the four power components. So our first one is building you.

and I love this one it's one of my favorite ones because it's really about clarifying the exact action steps you must take to reach who you want to become and we actually call this your 2.0 version and I don't think that moms often enough take a look at where they're at and then really look at where they want to go and they don't necessarily dream again or they don't believe that they can you know go become this person that in their mind if they really allow themselves to have fun with that? Who is it that you really want to become, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, what those things are. So we really dive into that. And with each of these, I'm going to go through them real quick. And then I'd love to give examples of what your listeners can do to begin to help in these areas if you're open to that. Oh, absolutely. I'm all about action. And actually, I was going to say to that, I love the fact that you've got the online program,

but then you also have the book. Some people like to be able to pick up the book and read through it and take the action right then and there, that's what they have time for. You know, sometimes it's 10 o'clock at night or five o'clock in the morning. Right. And so to log in, not everybody wants to log in to do a program, but the program's there if you want to go a little deeper. So yeah, yeah, I love it. Yeah. Yeah. So the second power component is fueling you. And this is just learn how to keep your nutrition simple without counting points or calories. We talk about that. Um, and moms need simplicity. Um, and so that is something that we really help with and then power component number three is training you. And this is just really about how you can become fit and embody,

get really, get really good results without spending hours in the gym. Um, there's nothing wrong with going to the gym. If that's something you have the time and the, the desire to do, uh, we're advocates of the gym. However, we know, and I'll give you some tips on some things you can do to that. You can just start doing right away that you don't need the gym for. And then power component number four, I love this one. And you probably will love this too, Jackie, is it's extending you. And the reason I love extending you is it's really about looking at where you're at and then extending your love to other people. And what I found is that the first three components really feed into this fourth component, because as you begin to build yourself,

as you're feeling better mindfully in your mind about yourself, you're physically feeling better because you're getting results with working out, you're feeding your body good nutrition, you're just gonna be at a very different level energetically and that vibe is gonna be able to be shared to everybody else. One of the things I felt as a mom is that I was depleted and it was because I wasn't feeling my own, you've heard the feel your own cup so that you have more to pour from and it's the truth.

And so extending you is really looking at your personal relationships and then developing a plan to help grow and strengthen those relationships. So cool. And I think it's also one of the things I was thinking about is that it's so much better for our kids when we're filling ourselves up. It just exudes it like kids are sponges to us.

And so the extending you is also, yes, it may be for a wider circle, right? Of other moms or other people, but also for your kids. Absolutely. And you know, our kids will follow our example, right?

Absolutely. I think sometimes when they're so reliant on us in those early years, they're always reliant on us to some degree, right? But in those early years, it's all about them. And it doesn't have to be, you know, we think like everything, the world has to revolve around them.

And that's actually doing them a disservice when they grow up with that mentality that life is all about them or the world revolves around them. So let's jump into some of the actual tangible examples. Yeah, I love this. is the meat of it. The first part with like building you, I really think this is really important. I know we touched on this just a minute ago is really looking at why, why is it that you want to, to change? Why is it that you want to grow? Why is it that you want to go from that, you know, go to that 2.0 version, because that's really going to be what really grounds you in to making the changes. And so I always encourage, you know, moms to really look at why is it that you really want to do this for yourself, because that's what you can always go back to on those difficult days is going back to your why and looking at that. So writing it out, really reading through that. And I always say your why should make you cry because that means you're really going to the heart of what it is that you really want. And this isn't about anybody else. It's all about your intrinsic self. And so one of the things I found also though, is that, man, we need to work our mindset. And so I love this is one of my favorite things to do is they are called the daily declarations. What's the difference between like an affirmation and declaration?

They're very similar, but what I love about the declaration is really your involvement. So that's the key to it. So it's really about having your hand on your heart and really look, you look in the mirror, you can have your hand on your heart and you're going to feel it because our bodies are at the cellular level will receive this so strongly. And so it's daily declarations and they can be as simple as something is saying to yourself, you know, this takes like 30 seconds.

Every morning, wake up, go look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am filled with energy. I have health and I have vitality. I am full of confidence in my abilities. I love respect and believe in myself. And then I like to point to my head right here and be like, I am a power mom.

And, you know, I actually have a book that I carry around with me that has declarations and I have now like three or four pages. So it takes me a little bit more longer than 30 seconds, but I will tell you from experience, I can tell the mornings that I start my day with that. And when I have forgotten, or I just, just chose not to do it. So it's a really powerful thing that we as moms can do for ourselves is walk in that bathroom, give ourselves that 30 seconds and really just say some powerful things to ourselves. It's brilliant. And you know, often it's the simplest things that cost no money. They take such a short amount of time that we don't do.

And it's like, so moms, I'm going to encourage you right now without doing anything else. If you're driving into your car, you know, put us on pause and say just a couple of the declarations that Trina just gave you examples of, it does make a difference. One of the things that I do when I do that hand on my heart thing is I'll say, I have enough time to get it all done today. You know how normally like, I can't get it all done.

There's no way I have enough time. I shifted that and started saying, I have enough time to get it all done today. Now, am I going to get it all done today? Most likely not, but I get a heck of a lot more done when I say that because instead out of, you know, overthinking all the things I have to do and spending time thinking about it, instead of just taking action. And I say, I have enough time to get it done today. I actually get a heck of a lot more done. I'm going to, I'm going to steal that one from you. Is that all right?

Can I? Yeah, absolutely. I can't remember where I heard it from. So I'm, I know I stole it from somebody too. That's, that's what knowledge is about sharing it. Right. In the book, we actually list out more ideas, but you can find these things. It's just really making sure that you're, consistent. We call this the daily practice, by the way, these power components, it's really about creating these daily habits. So when you talked about, you know, it's just these simple things that we should do. It's really like, if you can be consistent with these things, that's when it compounds, these little simple things will begin to make bigger changes over time. And the more you do it, the more it kind of becomes that habit, right? Your muscle memory of your brain is flexed and you just, it just becomes like brushing your teeth. Yes. Yeah. That's awesome. I was going to ask you that why question can be really tricky to get started on and to figure out. Do you have any tips or pointers for that? Like how, when you start to write about what, what is your why?

Like, are there any brainstorming ideas? I think it's really about whether it be meditation, maybe going for a walk, it's creating the space to just listen to what comes out. So I'm big into like, let me be quiet. Let me sit in a room. Let me grab a journal and let me just start to write.

And if you do that consistently, that why will start to come out of you. Maybe you're more like, I want to talk about it. You could go for a walk and you could record your thoughts and what is happening. And you can begin to just sort of mind map. You could write down on sticky notes throughout the day, things that come about. I was having a conversation with somebody, you know, you and I have had a conversation today and it's like, oh, I could use that. And these are the things that help pull our why out because we have the answers inside. Most often our lives are in such a state of chaos and run and go that we don't take the time to really come in and be quiet.

So the building you piece, the reason I feel like this is one of the most important pieces is because it not only does it help you give your why, but you begin to feel it inside so much that you're willing to do what it takes to make the changes, even if they're simple, to be consistent with those changes. So those would be some of my things is just really finding space and time. You go sit in the garden, you could go to the mountains, you could sit at the beach, wherever it is that you can sit and just really find some time and space for yourself that that why begins to bubble up.

So one of the questions I often get is, how do I deal with guilt? I don't have time because I'm going all the time. So with the daily practice, we really encourage that moms create an hour of time for themselves. And a lot of times we'll be like, oh, I don't have time. We can all find time.

One of my favorite things is to take your phone and look at your screen time. And that will tell you where were you spending your time? You know, were you in social media world? Where can you find this time?

Can you go to bed a little bit earlier, which I'm a huge advocate of getting a good amount of sleep in. But can you go to bed a little bit earlier so you can rise a little earlier? For me, I know that the days that I get up before my kids get up, that is when that's my sweet spot for myself. and so can you create this time that you can do these things that your body needs your mind needs your soul needs without feeling guilty and I will share that so one things that I do in the morning is I get up I go to the bathroom I do my daily declarations and I go straight to meditation and then I'll go get my workout in and I fit this in time so that it's super scheduled I'm ready for it, but it's habitual. We talked a little bit about that. Like you do it, the more your body wants it, you crave it, you notice it when you don't do it. But there have been times where like my son has come downstairs and I'll be in the middle of meditation. And what I've learned is there's some value in this. One is it's a great opportunity for me to teach him how I find inner peace and calm in the midst of life that can be chaotic. And so there've been actually times I've taken my ear pods out and I've handed it to him and I've let him listen to what it is I'm listening to and to feel the calm of the music and the words, whatever it is I'm listening to. And then I will just say to him, Tristan, I'm, I'm having some mom time. I need you to go find something

quiet to do. And it really sets that, that, that example of, Hey, this is my space. So you need to go do something calm as well. And they have now learned that now he doesn't even come listen to me. He just knows he walks in the room and he sees that I'm meditating. And sometimes I can hear, but he'll just turn and he'll, he now respects that time and space. Um, and I think that that's how we create that, that respect between a mother and a child of, Hey, I need that time and space.

And it helps that guilt begin to go away because your kids are just expecting it. Oh, mom's meditating. Right. So that has helped, um, from like feeling guilt about creating time and space.

that's super cool and it becomes a norm yes and there's no need to you know yell or rebuke it or to do it it's just like this is the way it is right now they're resilient they figure it out our kids are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for oh yeah way okay so how about some action steps for number two fueling you okay fueling you so this one is really simple and we all take it for granted um i could dive into like you should eat this or don't need that. But let's just talk about H2O, water, the power of water. Water is so great for our bodies. Over 70% of our body is water. It's how our cells, you know, talk to each other. And it is just such a wonderful way of getting energy and clearing out toxins. And I could just go on about water, just drink more water. And a lot of times moms will be like, well, how much water should I be drinking? Simple rule of thumb is to drink half your, your, take your body weight,

cut it in half and drink that many ounces of water minimum a day. Right? So if you're a hundred pounds, you should be drinking 50 ounces of water. And you know, sometimes that's can be like, oh, I'm nowhere close to that. Or I don't like water. I get that those things, you know? And so it's like, just start out slowly. And what you'll find is that your body wants it and it'll crave it.

and you'll be able to work your way up to some of those numbers if they're a little bit of a stretch for you. But some of my tips are, I always have a water bottle that I love to drink out of. So Tara and I are very different. She has a different water bottle than I do because we just enjoy it differently. The next thing is make sure the top is such that you can just grab it with your pinky. And I always say, look, we don't leave home without our wonderful cell phones.

So we should not leave home without our cell phone and our water. Take it wherever you can and just get that water in. I used to not drink as much water as I needed to. I found having a water bottle with a straw was what helped me get more down or get more in when I was using a straw.

So again, a simple thing doesn't cost us anything. Great tip. Okay. Number three, training you.

Yeah, training you. So I can tell already this is not going to go well for me. Oh no, no, no, no, no. I keep this really simple. So really Tara and I work out at home all the time and it really doesn't take a lot of space. You know, there's so many different types of videos you can do on YouTube, different programs that you can grab, but it really is about just being consistent, getting a workout that you love and then doing it. We turned a shed into like a workout space, you know, just a shed. You walk in and there's our weights and we have a mirror, it's nothing special. But if you're somebody, I'm a huge advocate of lifting, making sure that your muscles are strong, your bones are strong. It helps, it advocates for towards weight loss. At the end of the day, though, if you do not want to lift weights,

find something you do love. And that is the key. The key is finding you something you do love. So I use this example for myself. I years ago did triathlons and I found that I love the running.

I love the bike, but man, for me to swim is just a challenge. I do not love to swim. So Jackie, if you were to tell me to every day, go swim, guess what? I'm not swimming.

Not happening. No. Okay. So for me, I love to run. I love to lift weights. And so that's what I do.

But if you love Zumba, go do Zumba. If you want pickleball, go do pickleball. If you don't know what you like, go try something new because if you fall in love with it and you enjoy it, you will do it every single day. It's about movement. You know, go do the yoga, go do things that feel good to your body. And that's what will help you be consistent with moving your body every single day. And I love that you're saying that too. Like just do it when it doesn't have to be an event. It's just like get in the living room and start. We make it difficult. Again, we, we feel like we have to have all the things or have to have the gym membership or the whatever. And we don't know. Just getting in 15 to 30 minutes, even in a crack is, is sometimes enough. Yeah.

And there's an app called or not an app, but on YouTube, you can go to cosmic kids and this girl does kids yoga and she does it through story. And it is so fantastic. And I do it with my kids. So now you're getting a yoga workout and I'm a huge advocate of, of stretching and how good that is for the body, but now you get your kids involved and gosh, you just spent a half hour of bonding with your kids doing yoga in a really fun way. So that's a little fun plug that I like to give out for parents. Awesome. Great pointer. I'm going to check them out. I love it. All right. Number four, extending you. Okay. So this one is fun. So there's all kinds of different ways that we can really bond with people, but this one's a little bit different in that I'm going to ask you,

how often on a consistent basis, how many hugs a day do you receive or give? I'm going to say get four to six. I have read before that it's eight hugs a day that we need just to, to live and then about 12 or more to really thrive in life. And what happens is when we give or we receive a hug, we actually release oxytocin, which is a hormone that releases in, into our bodies. And it's really a way to connect with somebody. And you can actually get to the point if you hug long enough that your heartbeats regulate together and you can really have a really strong bond. Now, for those of us that are like, okay, I work from home. Maybe I don't have a lot of people to hug or you're with your kids all the time. Just hug the heck out of your kids.

This can count for hugging your pets. Pets actually, when you touch your dogs or animals, oxytocin is also released. So it's a great way. But do that, go up to somebody, give them a hug and put a smile on their face. And I've actually had people say that my husband loves that I'm doing more of this because I get to, he gets, he receives hugs from me more and more. And it also helps him be mindful of, of touch and how much we're really letting somebody know, like, I really care about you. And so hugging is one of the ways that we say, Hey, go out and brighten somebody's day and brighten your own by giving some hugs. Trina, you're making me think of I need to do an episode just on hugs because I too have heard that with the eight to 12 hugs a day and then children who have experienced trauma, you can double that. But kids who have experienced trauma aren't always so accepting of hugs and touch. And so sometimes a hug is simply just walking by them and a quick hand on their shoulder or sitting next to them on a couch or just any kind of that good kind of touch or connection that you can get in. The other thing I was going to mention though,

is how long are the hugs? And that's why I say, sometimes I have to say to my husband or my son, who is rarely here anymore, uh, like hug back and then I'll hold on. And a lot of times I'll say I'm stuck, I'm stuck. And so then I'll just really hold on. So they can't let go too quick because I want a good, like five seconds for sure. 20 seconds is gold. Yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, what's funny is I'm not a hugger. It's not something that my family does a lot of.

But now with my kids and with other people, I'm more mindful of that, but I can see where somebody that that's not their, their comfort level. That just that touch to what you're talking about that, just that, let me lay my hand on your shoulder. I'm here, or let me go, go close and let you know, I'm there for you. It's really about the intention because then you're building the relationship. Right. So yes, the longer the hug, the better, right. That's when the, some of that, that heartbeat happens and you start to, to have that closeness, but it doesn't mean that has to be a long hug to get it, but I'm with you. I, my son, I'm like, hug me more.

And we have a daughter who has physical challenges. And so for her, I'm always like, no squeeze tighter. And so for her, she has to, you know, work at that a little bit more. but yes I think you could definitely do a fun episode on I am totally doing a whole episode on this giving hugs is part of extending you and again a very simple thing to do that doesn't cost anything what are some other actionable tips for extending you one of the things that Tara and I have added into our lives that really has been helpful is every Sunday night or Sunday morning we get out our schedules and we look at what everybody has. So, you know, I have this throughout the week. I have that throughout the week. And you can involve your kids with this too,

especially as kids get older, they have a lot going on. But what it shows is it shows that you care about and respect your children's time, your partner's time, and really gets everybody on the same page. And then it's like, oh, wait, I didn't do that. Or I need to do that. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. And it just was really streamlined communication throughout the family.

The next thing is you can spend, you know, whether it be once a week, once a month, you know, take your kid out and go do something they love to do. Put away your phone. You don't get to choose what it is you go do and go do what your child loves to do. Because often as parents, we're the ones saying, hey, let's go do this.

And they're like, but I want to do that. Well, we'll do it later and later never comes. And so that is something that can be of value as well. I love it.

So intentional. We talked on our January 1st episode of this year, we talked about living intentionally and with optimism. And this, your whole crush mom guilt, your power mom mission, all of it is just really about, I feel the intention behind that and really saying, hey, I'm worth this. I deserve this.

My family deserves this. Okay. So what motivated you to then write the book? Because you started with the program.

So the reason I came across the book is, you know, I talk about being mindful about where you're at in life. And we had just moved to a different part of Colorado, which is where we live. And we have this big yard that needed some good love. So I went out there and I had on my earbuds and I was listening to a book by Annie F. Downs. I'm a huge fan of hers. She just is fun to listen to. And in that I was here, I am weed whacking. I'm just listening to the book. I'm not thinking anything about work or about what we do or even writing a book. It never entered my mind.

And she asked a simple question within the chapter I was listening to. She said, what is it that you're supposed to be doing now that you're not? And in a blink of an eye, you need to be writing a book. Trina came through to me and I went, what are you talking about?

And for two weeks, I didn't say a word to Tara. I didn't say a word to anyone. And I just sat with it. and uh what's great about life is when we really listen to ourselves and we act on those things or we start to pay attention other things came into my life we received information on how to publish a book and you know none of that would have even if that had received to me you know been a year before if that publisher would have come my way to been like okay yeah i don't need that information it wouldn't have been on your radar right you were open to it yeah and so um i I went to Tara and I said, I'm going to write a book.

And I think she thought I was crazy. And I don't know if she thought I would do it. But you talk about the daily practice. What I started doing was every morning I got up at six in the morning and I would go through my routine.

But then I created about a half hour, 45 minute space where I could just go and write. And it's that building you. It's a perfect example of how we can build our lives is it was like first writing the first chapter. Well, first of all, figuring out what was going to be in the book and then building the first chapter. And there was one part where I wanted to talk about sleep because I'm a huge advocate of our sleep. And man, I could talk forever. Like you talked about hugs, I can talk about sleep, but it wasn't fitting. And I was on a run and I all of a sudden it came to me like, well, you don't have to have that chapter in the book, Trina, just keep moving forward.

And so we did omit that chapter from the book because it just didn't fit in with the way I like to write. So we'd like to share a lot of personal stories. There's a lot of personal things that we've gone through and then some Power Mom action steps as well. This is also intentional. It's inspiring. It's actionable. You guys are fun. You're motivating and just the real deal. And so parents, I encourage you to go to powermom.co. Check out their website, learn about their free tools, their products that you have, which we haven't even talked about those, the book and the coaching, the program and the coaching. Yeah. So we have our online program and that's just a great way for moms to be able to to come in and you know get some having accountability but also have a program that they can work through on their own time right so sometimes it's just like okay I know at midnight you know I'm not advocate of that but there are some people are like midnight's the only time I can get something done you could jump in and do that but we have a lot of support with that program so you can learn more about working directly with us through our online program. We also are, we actually recently launched,

it's not on our website yet, but we're doing workshops and I'm super excited about this. We've already done a couple. We're partnering with like our local library. We're doing one.

And then we have the school district has come and asked us to do some workshops where we would just walk through the four power components. And it's like in person, let's get down into some of these questions and we are right there working with people. So I love the workshops and then speaking, you know, just really being able to go out and share the message of empowerment for moms that, you know, you can, you don't have to live life feeling guilty. You can be a mom and more because we are more than a mom. Um, so, um, I love, we love being able to do that. So, and then we obviously have our book as well. Awesome. So great. And you have a free training on your website too.

You just simply put in your name and email and you'll get access to a free training where you can learn how to live your life full of energy, confidence, and all of it without the guilt. So, Trina, you're a delight. I thank you so much for taking the time to be with us today. Well, thank you so much, Jackie.

I really appreciate it. I had so much fun with you. Thank you. All right.

That's it for today's episode of the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Hey, thanks, guys, for tuning in. If you found value in today's episode, click the subscribe button and share it with other parents who might need a little boost. Stay connected on our socials by following at No Problem Parents for more parenting tips and get your free download of the 60 ways to respond to your kids without losing your cool.

Go to NoProblemParents.com. Until next time, remember, your confidence comes from embracing both successes and setbacks. So take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and remember, you got this.

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