’I’m Bored!’ Introducing Mystery Bored Bags and Why being bored is a good thing

Hey there, No Problem Parents. Welcome back to Social Saturdays on the No Problem Parenting Podcast. I'm Jackie Fineman, and today's episode is a super fun treat. I'm going to share why boredom is good, give you ideas for family activities to fill your Saturday, and one of my favorite ways to respond to the dreaded I'm bored complaint from our kids.

In fact, I love when kids say I'm bored, and I'm going to tell you why in just a minute. Hey there, parents. Thanks for listening to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Are you ready to become the confident leader your kids crave you to be?

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And our three-step No Problem Parenting approach, seek first to understand, prepare for the worst, and change the conversation, can be incorporated in any scenario or any problem that your family is facing right now. And today's topic is the dreaded I'm bored declaration from your kids. Well, instead of being frustrated, how about we embrace the I'm bored statement instead? And today I'm going to introduce the concept of bored bags.

These are your secret weapon against boredom. And today I'm going to give you the lowdown on how to build them and why they're a game changer. But first, let's talk about boredom in general. So is it okay for our kids to be bored?

Absolutely. It's okay for us to be bored. Boredom can be beneficial for several reasons. It creates creativity and imagination and encourages kiddos to tap into their creativity.

And when they're left to their own devices, they often come up with new games, activities, or stories to entertain themselves. It teaches problem-solving skills. Being bored prompts kids to find solutions and overcome challenges all on their own. And this helps them develop problem-solving skills and creates a sense of autonomy.

It's also great for self-discovery. Boredom provides an opportunity. it allows kids to explore their interests, their preferences, and their passions as they seek to find activities that capture their attention. And boredom creates resilience and patience. Kids need to learn to be patient and resilient. Not every moment needs to be filled with entertainment, and learning to wait for the next engaging activity is a valuable skill. I think too often these days we're trying to fill our family's time, our kids' time, and typically we're jam-packed during the week. So when kids are bored on the weekend, it actually creates an appreciation for downtime. It allows the kids to understand that not every waking moment needs to be scheduled or filled with activities. And boredom encourages independence and self-entertainment. Kids learn to rely on themselves for amusement rather than constantly seeking external sources of entertainment,

especially for mom and dad. And it also encourages time management. Having free time and experiencing boredom can teach kids about time management skills. They learn to prioritize activities and make choices about how to spend their time. It can also reduce reliance on screens. So allowing for boredom, being okay with your kids being bored, reduces their reliance on screens because, you know, when screen time is up and if you've been listening to our Tech and Teaching Tuesdays, you're getting tips on how to make sure you have healthier limits around screen time. Boredom encourages kids to find non-digital ways to entertain themselves. And that starts with you, the parent being okay with the child being bored. So even if they're whining and complaining,

instead of just plopping that screen in front of them or turning on that TV, allow them the opportunity to be bored. It will spark creativity in them, even though you may have to put up with a little bit of whining and doom and gloom for a little while. They will figure it out and it's not your responsibility to have to entertain them all the times. And my tips today are going to give you some great ways to respond to those I'm bored statements. There's two more things I want to covered that boredom does, and that is develops a passion for hobbies. Boredom can lead to the discovery of passions and things that they didn't even know that they were interested in. So when kids have the time and the space to explore different activities, oftentimes they find something they love to do that they didn't even know they love to do. And finally, boredom teaches emotional regulation. When kids are allowed to be bored, they learn to manage feelings of restlessness or frustration without always relying on external stimuli. Now, it's important to note that while occasional boredom can be beneficial, please don't use this as your go-to to just be able to binge watch your favorite shows or scroll on social and ignore your children. Balance is key. You want to provide a mix of structured activities, free play, and downtime so that you're offering your kiddo a well-rounded and developmentally supportive environment. All right, let's get into

my favorite board activity. And this is actually a board bag challenge. At the end of the episode, I'm going to share about a contest coming up this spring. So stay tuned for that. But what is a board bag? Oh my gosh, this is so fun. So for parents, you're going to grab a brown paper grocery bag.

That's actually my favorite. You can really use any kind of bag. It's just the key is that the kids cannot see inside the bag. Okay, so don't use a clear bag. You're going to grab a paper bag, and then you're going to collect a mix of everyday items from your house. Random things, just totally random kinds of things. And then the challenge is when the kiddo comes to you, I'm bored, you suggest they grab a board bag. Now the first time you use this, they're going to have no idea what a board bag is. So we're going to get into how you explain that and the instructions for that. But eventually the kids will on their own when they're bored, just go grab a board bag because you're going to have some of these made up in advance for them to use. The challenge of course is for the kid to use all the items in the bag to craft something extraordinary. And the mystery lies in not knowing what's inside the bag until you open it. I'm going to go through a list of things and suggestions of items that you can put in the bag in just a minute, but I'll preference it with make sure that the things that you put in the bag are safe and age appropriate because this isn't an activity that you're typically going to be doing with them. This is for when in those times when they're bored, but you're busy. And remember the key to the board bags is that what's inside is a mystery. So putting these bags together without the kids seeing what's inside is super

key. Another thing is if you don't have a paper bag, use a cardboard box. Kids love cardboard boxes. Again, the key is whatever you're putting these items in, you don't want the kids to be able to see them from the outside in. You want this to be sort of like a mystery bag or a mystery box.

You're going to want to make a few of these bags up before you even introduce this technique. And the idea behind the board bag is that it's located in a central kind of location, maybe in the entryway closet or a hallway closet or a cabinet in the toy room. Kids don't need permission to grab a board bag. They have free access to it. So for some families, you're going to want to just always have one board bag available, but maybe not more than one because if they open one, the rule is they have to complete it before they move on to the next board bag. And so sometimes parents just want to put one board bag out and when that one gets completed, then they have a stash in their own closet in their bedroom or someplace safe and they put out another board bag after that. Sometimes kids will want to create two or three or four board bags in a day. Hey,

that's super cool, right? Keeps them entertained. It's a great idea to have a few of these on hand because these board bags create curiosity. Sometimes kids are super interested and intrigued by them in the beginning and so they might go through quite a few board bags. You can repurpose the material and the items that you've put in these bags. I'm going to get into that in a minute. But the other thing is that after the excitement around the board bags wears off, they might be coming to you with I'm bored, you can still suggest they grab a board bag. They might be like, oh, I'm bored with the board bags. I don't want to do them. Well, there's another option. This is a little bonus tip for you parents out there. You can have the board bags and you can also have a list of what I call board chores. You can have this list in your pantry door or inside a closet door. In this way, kids have an option to grab a board bag or they can choose a chore off the board chore list, or they can come up with an activity on their own. Either way, whatever their mood is and whatever they're whining about, you don't have to join into that same emotion.

You can just simply matter of fact say, hey, grab a board bag, choose a board chore, or come up with an activity on your own. I'm reading my book or I'm doing the laundry. It's like, no problem. You can be bored. You can throw a fit. You can be frustrated. I am doing this. I know you'll figure it out. No problem. Okay, so what's a board chore? Well, board chores are chores that are not common or that you don't typically have time for, but are good to have done, especially occasionally. So, for instance, cleaning the baseboards in your home. Like, who does that, right? Well, that's a great chore, especially for littles, because, I mean, you know, they're closer to the floor than the rest of us, and you can just simply wet a small towel or a rag and send them on their way to dust all the baseboards in the home or the trim in your home and kind of helps you out in something that you wouldn't normally do. Now another board chore is organizing the plastic container drawer. You know those drawers are always a mess and the containers aren't put together nice and neat so that's an easy task for even the preschool age to do and keep in mind you know those random lids that don't even have a container that they fit on anymore those can be an item that's used in a board bag And again, I'm going to get into all those suggestions in a little bit.

Another thing you can do is have them organize a junk drawer. And guess what? There are great board bag objects in the junk drawer too. So after the kiddos organize the junk drawer or you have, and you have these random pieces laying around, don't throw them out as long as they're safe.

Save those for a board bag. Keep in mind that before you throw out the random things that you find laying around your home or in a junk drawer or closet or a random game piece, you threw the game out because it was missing pieces. Now you find those pieces. Those are excellent things to save for your board games. All right, let's get into the step-by-step instructions. Step number one, and this is the parent's job in this activity, and so it's parents only, no peeking kids, is that the parent is going to gather all the supplies needed, which are first and foremost a paper bag or a cardboard box, a non-see-through item. So maybe it's a cloth bag, whatever it is, you want it to be a mystery bag.

And then you're going to gather a variety of household items and art supplies and random things throughout the house, making sure the items are safe and age appropriate for the kiddo to be able to use these things independently. Step number two is to put a random list of items into the bag. I like to say use 10 items. You do you.

You figure out what works for your kid. You might do five. You might do 20, depending on the size of the items or the things that you're putting in the bag. These items should be randomly chosen, randomly combined.

So parents, there's two ways you can do these board bags. You can have like kind of a themed activity bag, and I'll share some of those with you. But really, preferably, it should be so random that you don't even have any idea what your kid could possibly create from the list of items that you put in that bag. It's not about you setting the stage for what you expect the child to create.

It's totally random so that your child uses absolutely all of their own creativity, which can take some time for them to figure out, right? What am I going to do with all these pieces in this bag? I have no idea what I'm going to make. So what are some of the items? Here's some suggestions for you. Printer paper, tape, and I know a lot of parents don't like to have kids using tape because it can be messy. Go to the dollar store, grab some tape. It's loads of fun.

Tin foil, solo cups, clothes pins, paper clips, paper plates, small toys that you got from a drive-thru window that are just randomly in the toy room, pipe cleaners, ribbon, string, toilet paper, paper towels, any kind of random piece, missing piece from a game, or maybe a toy that broke and you threw most of the toy out, but you kept some of the little trinkety pieces. Maybe it's some random Legos or some doll clothes or, you know, whatever it is, just some random items.

And again, 10 items is kind of a good average, but again, the more you do this, the more creative you'll become as the parent with what you throw in there and the more creative your kiddo is going to be. Sometimes five items is enough. Just depends on how much time you want your kiddo spending on the activity. All right, step three is to put items in the board bag. Step four is to store the board bag in a closet or a drawer that is easily accessible to the child for whenever boredom strikes. And then this little kind of bonus step five, it's totally optional, but if you wanted to, you could include a challenge card in each of those bags with a note that says, to complete this board bag, you must use all items and create something unique. And if you wanted to,

Like I mentioned, you could do a themed bag. And so you could say your challenge is to build a fantastic creature using all the items in this bag. Get creative. Now, step six is make sure that your kiddo knows the board bag rules.

The only rules are that you have to use all the items in the bag in your creation and you cannot ask for anything that isn't in the bag. Sometimes kids will be like, well, I need tape and I don't have any tape. Get creative. Maybe you need to shift your thinking about what you're creating that day because you don't have tape so you won't be able to make that creation.

Or maybe there's a different way that you can connect the items in the bag without using tape. Then step seven, after they complete the creation, you're going to encourage the child to come show you and describe their masterpiece to you. Avoid the temptations of saying, what is it? Instead, reframe that and say, hey, tell me about your creation.

Maybe your kiddo made the creation and to them it's kept an obvious what the creation is. and you're going to be like, I have no idea what you just made. So instead of being like, well, what is it? I don't I don't get it.

Say something like, tell me about your creation. How did you think of it? Why did you think to come up with this? Tell me about all these different parts.

You know, just get really curious about their creation and then take a picture. Take a picture of the creation. Some of the creations are going to be made with junk and you're not going to want to keep the creation for very long. And so you can also tell your kids that we can't possibly keep all these creations or store them all.

So we're taking pictures of the creations or you can keep them for a week or we need to use these pieces again in another creation. So we'll need to take the creation apart. And so take a picture. And I'd love to have you send those pictures to me and share them on social media, taking at No Problem Parents or send the picture directly to Jackie, J-A-C-I at NoProblemParents.com.

Before I get into that, an additional tip for younger kiddos, when your little ones are just starting to crawl or maybe they're just walking and they're up to those toddler ages, you can create a kitchen drawer toy box. And in that toy box, you're going to have age appropriate toys, plastic containers, utensils, so a random mix of adult kind of things and kid things, keeping safety in mind. Place it in the lowest drawer in your kitchen for them to access while you're cooking or cleaning. You're going to want to make sure this drawer is not anywhere near a stove, right? Safety is always key. But it's kind of fun for the littles when they're crawling around. They open the bottom drawer, which they think is kind of cool that they can even do that in the first place, and it's filled with these random toys for them to play with. You can interchange these items periodically too so that you keep their curiosity that every time they open the drawer, every so often, there's new items in that drawer. Remember, the key is to make the activity exciting and flexible. Create curiosity. Allow kids to use their imagination to the fullest and have fun with this. Keep a few of these on hand, maybe putting one out at a time and having some other ones stashed in your room.

The mystery of this lies in not knowing what's inside until you open the bag. Now we're gonna be adding some ideas and suggestions for themed bags coming up, but just get creative with those. You can think about having a tinfoil sculpture bag and everything included is like tinfoil, pipe cleaners, paper clips, and then little small trinkety toys, or a paper wonderland bag. You'd wanna include anything paper, so newspaper, colored paper, printer paper, lined paper, toilet paper, paper towels, something like that. And then they need to either draw and cut out characters or create buildings or landscapes. We're going to have a creative list coming up. Stay tuned. If you're not subscribed to our newsletter, go to noproblemeparents.com and fill in your name and email address and get on our mailing list.

And stay tuned for the free PDF of board bag themed creations. I'll be sharing more about that in a couple of weeks as we prepare for our mystery board bag challenge coming up in March. We're going to have the whole month of March to enter this contest, but because you're listening today, you've got a little bit of a heads up and you can start sending in those pictures right away. Pictures are what gets you entered to win the contest. We're going to have prizes, which we'll announce at the beginning of March during another Social Saturdays episode. So be sure you're following the show and share this episode with your friends. And even the littles can win this contest with their kitchen drawer toy boxes or baskets that are in your home. So you can start sending those pictures today, but the contest will kick off the first Saturday of March. All right, you guys, thanks for hanging out with me today. Keep that curiosity flowing in your kids. Respond without frustration and reaction and in a no problem parent matter of fact kind of way. Tune in for tomorrow's self-care Sunday and remember parents, you got this.

All right, that's it for today's episode of the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Hey, thanks guys for tuning in. If you found value in today's episode, click the subscribe button and share it with other parents who might need a little boost. Stay connected on our socials by following at No Problem Parents for more parenting tips and get your free download of the 60 ways to respond to your kids without losing your cool, go to no problem. Parents.com until next time.

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