Social Saturdays: The Benefits of Parent/Child Play & Tips for All Ages

Hey there, welcome back No Problem Parents. This is our first Social Saturdays episode of the No Problem Parenting podcast. I'm Jackie Finneman, your host, and today's question is, What are the benefits of parent-child play, and how can I make it awesome for my kids of all ages, and make it fun for me, the parent, too? A study that was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family shared that leisure activities, including play, are linked to greater satisfaction in family relationships overall.

So there's more to play than just keeping kids busy or entertained. Play builds curiosity and trust and connection. So if you're finding yourself yelling all the time, play is a great way to stop feeding the problems in your home with anger and frustration and setting the tone in your home to be more fun and joyful. Kids don't want you to yell all the time.

but if seeing you yell is the only excitement or animation they get from you, you might notice that they're pushing your buttons just a little bit more to gain your attention, even if it's negative attention. So if you're ready to become the leader of your home when it comes to all things play, stay tuned. We've got a great episode for you. Welcome to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. From toddler tantrums to teenage eye rolls, this podcast is your go-to for updated and old school tips and tools that are going to help you become the confident leader your kids crave you to be. Do you ever wish there was a specific manual that came with each one of your kids? I mean, what works for one often doesn't work for the other, right? And let's face it,

we don't know what we don't know. And even if there was a manual, it probably wouldn't be able to keep up with all the changes in our world. Well, this podcast is the next best thing. I'm your host, Jackie Finneman, a 30-year counselor turned parenting coach. And I've got a lot to share, including hundreds of resources that you have access to right from your home and strategies that are going to boost your confidence and energize you. So whether you're knee deep in diapers or navigating the tween years, or you're launching your child into adulthood, subscribe and share this podcast with your friends, teachers, and daycare providers. We're going to turn your parenting problems into no problem, one episode at a time. All right, parents, let's talk all things engaging and play with our kids, whether it's peekaboo or building Lego towers, constructing forts, or even pretending to be superheroes. You create a foundation of curiosity, trust,

and connection with your kids through play that truly lasts a lifetime. And hey, check out my conversation with Kurt Jordan from Kong Academy in episode 50. Kurt is one of the authors in our first book, No Problem Parenting, Raising Your Kiddos with More Confidence and Less Fear, and his chapter is titled Let Kids Play Their Way. And I've included a link in the show notes for more ideas on how your family can beat the winter blues. Kong Academy has put together this great landing page full of adventurous ideas and fun that you can access right from your home this winter, whether it's rainy season for you or snowy season for you, Kong Academy has some great ideas to help you out on your playtime parenting journey. And remember that play isn't just for kiddos.

It's a fantastic stress buster for parents too. Even if you just have 15 minutes of imaginative play, it can be like a mini vacation from the hustle and bustle of daily life. And it doesn't have to cost you a thing other than your time and intention. So play is an opportunity to just let your guard down. Be silly with your kids, no matter their age. Even teenagers can't resist a good laugh when mom or dad are being playful and silly. So let's be intentional about playing with our kids.

Remember Mindset and Motivation Monday? We talked about this whole year. We're going to really be intentional and we're going to lead with optimism. So what if you actually looked forward to play time with your kids? Just as much as you look forward to hanging out with your friends or watching your favorite sports on TV. You don't need hours on end. Just 15 minutes of dedicated play time can work wonders. And if play doesn't come natural for you or if you run a tight schedule, I'm going to challenge you to schedule play time in just like you would an important meeting with your boss or a coffee date with your friend. Make playtime a non-negotiable in your schedule.

It can become an anticipated moment of joy in your routine. And even if it's just 15 minutes, set your timer, fully engage with your kids during that time and watch the magic unfold. Have you listened to episode 172 with Glenn Lundy? Glenn was my guest and we talked the whole episode about how to stop spending time with your family and invest the time instead.

And how some kids require just that, you know, five to 15 minutes of interaction on a daily basis, while other kids are perfectly fine waiting for your undivided attention on a fishing trip or some sort of outing, even if it's just once a month. So take a listen to episode 172. Glenn has some great tips. He's the father of eight kiddos.

So he's learned how to make time for each of his children and be really intentional with his time with his kids as a full-time working dad. All right, before I share some ideas for playtime with infants to teens, here's three tips just to keep in mind during play. So first, of course, you want to be present. You want to be fully engaged.

Put away your distractions and go all in. You want to let your child know that you value and enjoy your time together and you don't want to be distracted by your cell phone. Turn the TV off. Just be really fully present.

Tip number two, follow your kiddo's lead. Allow your child to take the lead and play. Follow their interests and their cues, even if it means stepping into their imaginative world. This is going to encourage their creativity and it strengthens your connection between you and your child.

So you might ask open-ended questions to learn more about their ideas. If maybe the play they're creating doesn't make sense to you, make sure you check your ego at the door. Play time is not about knowing more than your child. So do your best to kind of let your kid know more than you do about whatever it is you're playing.

And you can respond with questions like, hmm, I wonder if this tower would go higher if we did this. You know, like instead of telling them something that you know isn't going to work, wonder with them and be like, hmm, I wonder if this would work different or what you think about doing this. Or can we try instead of always having the answer for them when you know that something's not going to work exactly as they're expecting it to?

Let them explore. Use their imagination. Trial and error. It's not about getting it right.

It's just about having fun and creating that curiosity. OK, and the number three is quality over quantity. So again, it's not about the duration of playtime. It's about the quality of your interaction.

So even if you only have limited time, make the time count. Choose activities that your kiddo is interested in and focus on creating positive, memorable experiences during this play. Quality playtime. Even if it's rare, even if it's not a whole afternoon, it's just a short little bit of time, it's going to actually leave a lasting impact on your relationship with your kid.

The more opportunity you have to play with your child, the more you invest in time with your child, the less problems you're going to encounter behaviorally as they grow. We're never not going to have problems with our kids, right? That's my only guarantee and no problem parenting. I guarantee you're going to have problems and challenges raising your kids.

But there are these things we can do to help minimize those negative behaviors and challenges. Let's get into some playtime examples for children of different age groups. Okay, starting with our infants, the 0 to 12 month olds. Tummy time exploration is a super great connecting time with your kiddo.

and it also helps with motor skill development. So lay your baby on their tummy on a soft, clean surface, surround them with colorful toys and soft textures, and then engage in playful conversation. Lay down on your tummy too and be kind of face-to-face and you can make animated funny faces or encourage them to reach for toys. You know, bring a toy close to them and then move it away and then just a little bit out of their reach.

You're gonna help with motor skill development and that eye contact. It's a great time to spend with your little infants And it doesn't have to be for very long because as many of us parents know, tummy time isn't always super fun for babies. They're not necessarily super comfortable doing it. So just even a few minutes of doing that is a great interaction playtime with your infants.

Now, another one you could do for infants is sensory play. Giving your infant a variety of like soft fabrics with different textures. Let them feel, squeeze, explore the fabrics. This tactile experience is actually going to help stimulate sensory development and it helps with their motor skills as well. So playing peekaboo, you know, with the blanket and things like that. Anything engaging with your eye contact and that face-to-face kind of connection, whether you're sitting them on your lap or you're playing with them on the floor.

Babbling, cooing, having a conversation with your infant is super important and it develops relationship, trust, and connection with them. It's so fun. Okay, next let's talk about the toddlers, the one to three year olds. So a fun activity is to build a cushion fort. So use cushions, blankets, and pillows to build a cozy little fort in your living room. Crawl inside with your toddler, maybe bring some of their favorite toys, have a little flashlight. You can share stories, play peekaboo, and enjoy some quality time in your homemade fort. Kids love forts. And then another activity is playing house with baby dolls or stuffed animals. Set up the house, make a designated area, you know, in your living room or playroom. Bring out the baby dolls or the stuffed animals. Introduce them. Encourage your toddler to give each one of them a name or tell who they are.

Are they the mom or the dad or the sister or the brother? And then use soft blankets or towels that create cozy spaces for the dolls or the animals to sit up or to nap. If you have a pretend play kitchen setter, if you don't, just make your own. Grab out the plastic bowls from your kitchen or some small pots and pans. Let your toddler pretend to prepare meals for the baby dolls and for you.

You can talk about bedtime. Is it time for the baby to go to sleep? Ask questions like, oh, what is your baby eating today? Or is it time for the baby to go to sleep? This is going to help create language skills, but it's also encouraging imaginative thinking, which is super important in our little toddlers. And don't hesitate to join in the play. Take on a role. Perhaps you're the family friend or the grandma or the sister or the brother, the waiter, the waitress. Interacting in cooperative play, strengthening your connection with your kiddo and use animation with your face.

They love that. They absolutely love that. If your toddler successfully puts the baby doll to sleep or cooks a really good meal, you know, you can share in that like, oh, you're such a good mommy or you're so nice. If the toddler starts to get crabby and creates two stuffed animals fighting with each other, you can say, oh, let's teach them to be nice and show them and model that.

Remember, the key is to let your toddler take the lead and enjoy their freedom of imaginative play and playing house. It not only entertains them, but it also nurtures their creativity, social skills, and a sense of responsibility in your little one. Okay, moving on to our preschoolers, the three to five-year-olds. One of my favorite things to do is an imaginary tea party.

host an imaginary tea party set up a tea station with empty cups and saucers and pretend tea you can even have real tea if you like i used to do this and my son i'd have my nieces over to play tea time or tea party and my son and my nephew would join right in they'd wear their little fedora hats and act like the gentleman at the tea party encourage your kids to invite their favorite stuffed animals or dolls if you don't have friends that can come over for the tea party This also promotes imaginative play and you can dialogue and have like these conversations between the stuffed animals and your kiddos and yourself.

Maybe you're serving the tea. Maybe you're using a different voice, you know, an accent and you're introducing different tones in your conversation and just being silly and fun. And maybe you're teaching manners during that and you're not going to teach your kid, but you're going to teach the stuffed animal about the manners. Or maybe you're going to have some poor manners and you're going to let your kiddo tell you how to have better tea party manners at the table.

So just get creative with it. And then another idea is to have a storybook theater. So choose your favorite storybook and turn it into a mini theater performance. You can actually create props, little curtains.

You can put two chairs kind of together with a blanket in between them and create their own little performance theater. Encourage your kiddos to act out the characters. maybe even put on some simple costumes that you have with clothes or things lying around the house that you can actually mimic the characters in the storybook again you're creating creativity and language skills but you're also that eye contact and that curiosity from the kiddos when you're joining in the play and you're changing the tone of your voice and you're being all imaginative with them it's really so great for connection and just allow yourself to kind of relax and go with it and pretend you're an actor it can be really super fun and it can certainly help de-stress you and your mood. Let your guard down and just have fun and play. All right, moving on to our elementary age school kids, the 6 to 12 years old. That's really a wide range, but I love a good DIY science experiment. There are a ton that you can search on the internet. You can choose just a really simple and safe kind of science experiment like the good old-fashioned making a volcano with baking soda and vinegar. Figure out together which experiment you want to do. You can look it up together and then work together to get the supplies and follow the steps. Let your kiddo take the lead for the most part on this, but just watch the exciting chemical reaction that happens

when you do this DIY experiment. This really creates curiosity and teamwork and it can be super fun and engaging. They're going to learn something, but more importantly, I want you to be engaging with your kid, be curious, ask them questions, and just really be all in. Now another activity for the 6 to 12 year olds is a DIY board game. Create a personalized board game. Draw the board, design the cards, come up with the rules. Again, you're encouraging creativity, but it's super fun and family-made games. You know how kids want to make up their own rules a lot of time when there is a traditional board game that you're playing? Well, this is an opportunity for them to get creative and to make up their own board game. What will the characters be? You'll be impressed with what kind of games that your kids come up with. You know, grab some cardboard or stock paper. Maybe you're making a board game using toilet paper or paper towels or something random, you know, tinfoil, something random around the house. But just really have fun with this and actually let your kids lead the way because trust me, they'll be almost nine times out of ten,

they're way more creative than we could ever be. So create a DIY board game. All right, moving on who are pre-teens like 12 to 14 ish right these ages are just a range you guys you know your kids best I happen to think this idea can work with kids of all ages but it is to create a collaborative art project so you're going to pick a theme together as a family for an art project maybe everybody will write a theme down that they want to do for the day and you throw it in a hat and you draw one and that's the one you go with and the good news about that is if you have several kids you're going to have several ideas and then you'll have several activities to do you know spread them out over the course of a month or more. I would ask the kids first for their themes,

but if everybody's kind of stumped or stuck, go ahead and look on the internet. There are lots of ideas. Just search, pick a theme for collaborative art project. Some quick ones I love are the family mural. You can designate a large wall or section of your wall in your home or in your garage as the family mural. Grab your art supplies. Each family gets to contribute by adding their own unique drawings or paintings or messages to create just a super fun personalized mural.

You can also do a handprint family tree. So draw a tree trunk and branches on a large piece of paper. And then each family gets to dip their hands in different colors, paint and press them onto branches. You could do this once a year.

It's kind of a fun activity as your kids grow. And then if you want to do something more with materials or fabric, create a family quilt. You can use fabric squares from old t-shirts. And each family member gets to design or decorate their square with fabric markers or fabric paint.

And then once it's finished, you can sew or tie the squares together. Again, these are all things that you can search online, but I think they're super fun. And actually, one of my other favorites is a paper chain of gratitude. We talked about gratitude, optimism, and intention in Mindset Monday.

Cut strips of colored paper, place them in a central location of the house throughout the week or month, encourage family members to write down something they're grateful for, add it to the chain. And by the end of, let's say, the month or the year, you're going to have a super colorful chain of shared gratitude. So that's another super fun one to do. And then another fun idea for 12 and ups is a DIY escape room.

You can actually create a mini escape room challenge in your home. You can set up puzzles, clues and challenges in different rooms and then work as a team to solve the mystery and escape. There's lots of ideas online for this so that you can create your own DIY escape room at home and decide, are you going to create the escape room or are the kids going to create it and have the parents try to complete it? All right.

And then let's finish up with our teens. I love a good cooking challenge. I'm not a baker. Some people do baking challenges, so that works too.

But turn your kitchen into a cooking challenge arena. It's kind of fun. You can videotape this. Give each family member a set of ingredients and see what kind of culinary masterpiece you can come up with.

Give the kids the common ingredients, but they have to come up with what they're actually making. There's some really fun ideas online for this one too. And then you can have this sort of culinary challenge, even have maybe one or two people that are going to be the taste testers to determine if the food is good or not. It can be a super fun kind of family activity. And then the last example I'm going to give is you can adapt this to all ages in your home, but teenagers, I like to add a little bit of extra fun with it and have a little bit of a monetary value on it or some forgiveness of chores tickets. So my favorite overall activity is a scavenger hunt. So you can do a nature scavenger hunt. You can do an indoor scavenger hunt. Create a simple scavenger hunt. If you have toddlers, they're going to love the adventure of finding things. In your older kids, you're going to give cues and clues. And then when they find the thing, it might be you don't have to do dishes on Sunday. Mom or dad takes your chore. Or maybe it's a $5 bill. Or maybe it's a $10 bill. You can have some fun with the scavenger hunt. And then add, like I said, a couple of those bonus kinds of things that when they find it, it's worth their while. So you can be really creative with that. Okay, you guys, as we wrap up today's social Saturday, remember that play isn't just a luxury. It really can create trust and connection and

communication. If you're finding yourself struggling more than having joy, then I really encourage you to take some time and figure out what it is that you can do with your kiddo to connect. Eye contact is key. Engagement is key. And humor is key. We have to have humor. If you've taken the Becoming a No Problem Parent training, you know that one of the first challenges in that training is to add some humor. My dad always says, without a sense of humor, tough is hard to live.

So thanks for joining us. I'm going to share tips next week for kids who say, I'm bored. I've got a cool tip or tool that you can use on demand when your kiddos say, I'm bored. And we're going to talk a little bit about boredom and the benefits of boredom. So if you haven't yet, click that plus button on the app that you're listening to this podcast with so that you are following or subscribe to the show and you get the alerts for when each of our episodes are published. Until next time, keep playing, keep laughing and make every moment count. All right, that's it for today's episode of the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Hey, thanks guys for tuning in. If you found value in today's episode, click the subscribe button and share it with other parents who might need a little boost.

Stay connected on our socials by following at No Problem Parents for more parenting tips and get your free download of the 60 ways to respond to your kids without losing your cool, go to NoProblemParents.com. Until next time, remember, your confidence comes from embracing both successes and setbacks. So take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and remember, you got this.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.