Stop ”Spending” Time with Your Family; with special guest and Father of Eight Glenn Lundy

Digital Audio Health by Cymotrax. Hey there, parents. In today's episode, we're going to talk about why you should stop spending more time with your family and what you can do instead. My guest today, Mr. Glenn Lundy, I actually met him when I was a judge on the Great American Speak-Off.

This was a contest for speakers. and Glenn was in the top four and ended up winning the competition with his speech on Who Am I? And so we start with that topic and then we're going to get into a little bit more about how words matter and why we should be spending less time with our family and what we can do instead. Before we get into today's episode, I want to thank our sponsor, Dr. J.J. Kelly of Unorthodox Inc. You can go to drjjkelly.com to learn more. If you have a teen or young adult that is experiencing ongoing conflicts in relationships.

They're having intense or rapid mood changes. Maybe they just can't relax or they're having trouble recognizing choice. Maybe they're holding in their anger and then blowing up at others or making reactive or impulsive decisions that they later regret. Maybe they're self-medicating with substances like food, sugar, alcohol, or even busyness.

Maybe they're spending too much and they just really don't know how to budget or they're feeling overwhelmed. they're avoiding responsibilities, people or events, and they're just sort of numbing out, Dr. JJ's Get Real program will help. It's going to help them build awareness of their emotional experiences and build a life worth living. To learn more about the Get Real program, go to drjjkelly.com. Thank you, Dr. JJ, for being a sponsor of the No Problem Parenting Podcast.

Hey guys, I'm Jackie Finneman. I'm a parenting strategist and coach. And after 30 years and with more than 50,000 hours of experience working with kids and families, I promise you there is a solution for your parenting challenges. The key to this parenting gig is to guide and lead your kids with less fear and more confidence. You don't have to know everything to be the expert of your child. So let's get to the root of what is going on in your home with you and your kiddos. And then we're going to prepare for the worst and change the conversation. Kick fear, worry, and guilt to the curb. You are exactly the parent your child needs and wants, and you are more capable than you sometimes give yourself credit for. Head on over to atnoproblemparents.com. Let's get into today's topic and meet our next guest. Hey, welcome back. No problem parents today. I have a super fun dad on the show. My special guest is Mr. Glenn Lundy. He is a highly accomplished individual with a diverse range of skills and experiences. He is a devoted husband and a proud father of eight children. He's dedicated the past 25 years of his life to the automotive industry and has built a reputation as a respected professional in the field. As an author,

Glenn has written several books sharing his knowledge and expertise in helping people unlock their full potential. He's a sought-after motivational speaker using his experiences to inspire and encourage others to achieve their goals. In addition to his successful career, Glenn is also the founder of the 800% Elite Automotive Club, a membership-based organization for people in the automotive space. And he hosts a daily morning show called Hashtag Rise and Grind, where he shares his insights and knowledge to help people all around the world unlock their full potential.

I saw you as a virtual judge on the Grant Cardone 10X stage and voted for you. Loved your speech on Who Am I? Welcome to the show. Well, thank you very much. I appreciate that. Honored to be here. I appreciate your vote. And I also appreciate ChatGPT's version of my bio right there. That sounded good. That's my team using ChatGPT right there. I'm like, okay, I like that.

I am just getting into that and just learning about that and, you know, going back and forth with the like, oh, that turned out really good. That's exactly what I meant to say. And then the other part, like, that's not at all what I meant, you know, so. Yeah. All about training, training the tool.

You got to show you. I taught my team. So we dove into the AI stuff probably, I guess we're in August now. So about six, seven months ago. And I told everyone on the team, I said, minimum requirement of the job, 18 minutes a day in AI tools.

Just spend 18 minutes a day. Go explore, go into Google, whatever. And really what that comes from is if you do something consistently 18 minutes a day, over the period of a year, you will have logged X amount of hours. And that amount of hours will actually put you 95% more efficient than anyone else in that task, field, sport, whatever it is. So you're now in the top 5% in that world if you just spend 18 minutes a day doing it, because most people won't do that, right? And so I've challenged my team to do 18 minutes a day on the AI world. And then on Thursdays, we have little meetings and they bring to the table like, hey, I found this tool. Hey, check this out. Oh, this is super cool. And it's been, it's just completely enhanced our ability to reach and impact more people. I mean, I had,

I had a team member over here. He's, he's edited 17 reels. You know, it's 1130 this morning. He's edited 17 reels for us today, just using AI tools. So that's a great tip for me as well. So who am I? Tangent already. I'm, oh, we're going to go together. Yeah. That's just the way I roll a lot of times. So this speech, who am I? I mean, I was glued. It was a three minute speech. You know, sometimes you feel like you have to prepare a 45 minute presentation or whatever. The impact you made in three minutes with your who am I speech was just profound to me. And I would like to talk about that a little bit, how you came up with that, that message and that speech and a question that everyone, 7.8 billion people that exist on this planet have asked themselves,

can ask themselves, and should ask themselves. So in the great American speak-off, it is incredibly important to be able to speak to something that everyone could identify with, right? This is a competition for those that don't know what it is. It's like American Idol or America's Got Talent, but for speakers. And you have a very short amount of time to engage the audience and give them something that they can take away that's impactful. And so your initial deal is you kind of want to share your story. We typically want to share lessons from our story.

But when you're looking at a three minute timeline, you really have to get the audience involved right away, give them a couple pieces of the story so that you can solidify the message, but really you got to make it about them the entire time. And so we started the speech with who am I, right, right out the gate, because I knew the audience would be able to connect with that. Then very short into, you know, I'm a husband to one, I'm a father to eight.

battled things like depression and so on and so forth right now just a short story and then we brought this idea of identity through through my child Meredith so my my daughter Meredith she's seven years old I'm half black my dad's black my mom is white and my wife is white and most of our kids are some sort of blend of that. So it's very interesting about Meredith is blonde hair, blue eyes, which her mom doesn't have blonde hair. I don't have blonde hair. Neither one of us have blue eyes. And she came out and shocked us all. And really for me, I've always, I was a non-believer in God till I was in my early thirties. I've walked this journey with God for the last 15 years.

But Meredith was like just such proof to me that we're far beyond just the physical. Right. Because if you take my wife and you take me and you put us together, you don't get blonde hair and blue eyes. Yeah, that's what we got anyway. Right. So she's almost like a proof of God in the flesh for me.

But we went into that story to help the audience realize that our identity has nothing to do with the flesh, has nothing to do with what we look like, has nothing to do with our economic status, has nothing to do with anything like that. Our identity is something that comes from within and comes from above, right? And so in three minutes, it's like, who am I? Bring them in.

Connect real quick with the story that makes sense. And then turn it right back around. And through the speech, there was three different times where we said those words. Who am I?

And at one point, we actually had you, the judges, and the audience say those words. I said, close your eyes and just say those words, right? who am I? It's a profound question. And then we just brought it home. You know, we had to bring the passion, bring the energy and close the deal. But the entire speech was designed with the intention of let's impact everyone in the audience. And what was crazy, Jackie, is afterwards, like I thought it was a story of kind of black and white, you know, for my story, It was a black and white type thing. But I had so many people come up to me after and say, hey, I was rich and grew up around poor people.

I was poor and grew up around rich people. I was I had a New Zealand accent, but I grew up in Australia or Austria. Right. Like it was it was crazy how everyone at some point had a story where they felt they didn't belong in their identity.

they were trying to attach to something on the outside. And it really comes down to understanding that that identity is an inside job, not an outside job. It is just, it was absolutely incredible for me when I heard it. I was thinking about, you know, growing up, I really admired my mom.

I wanted to be like her. I followed her around. I was very much like her. Everybody told me how much I was like her.

And I found, I think, some worth in those messages from people about, oh, you're just like your mom. And I knew my mom was a really good person, kind, helpful, giving, you know, sometimes to a fault and putting others first and all that. And then as I started getting older and coming into my own kind of independence, there was almost this like, well, now, yeah, I'm like my mom, but I'm myself. So there's this like pushback of I can't be too much like my mom.

And I pulled away from her and started making my own path. And then after she passed, it was like, well, wait, I still need her. I'm still like her. I was doing more things like her and people started saying things to me like, stop being like mom. You're not mom. You're not mom. And I was like, well, who am I? Right. Who am I? And then at work, I was getting into leadership roles and I was taking on more responsibilities at work. And my peers were now, you know, I was I was coordinating for them or managing things for them.

And so they would say things like, you're not my boss. You know, you're not the director. You're not like, let, and stop micromanaging us and do it. And here I'm thinking, I've always been a helper and a doer.

And I'm like, but who am I now? And I, it was like a two by four that hit me across the head just a couple of years after my mom passed. And, and I did have to search and go, well, who am I? You know, I'm not my mom.

I'm not my director. But it's hard sometimes when you get caught in those trenches of just doing. And your speech, I closed my eyes that day listening and I was like, who am I? And I thought about it.

I am. I'm a daughter, a wife, a mother, a visionary, a supporter of all things parenting and leadership. And, you know, like stuff just kind of started rolling off my tongue. And that felt very empowering.

and I think for anybody listening today if you're feeling like you don't belong and you're trying to fit into this that or the other group and be who others think you should be take a minute close your eyes and say who am I it's really fascinating because typically in today's society if you ask somebody you know who are you they'll usually go to a role a title a job like who are you oh I'm a doctor who are you oh i'm a i'm a stockbroker who are you like it's all these things attached to work and if you really go back and look historically at how humanity um you know has evolved over time it's very interesting this whole concept of working for money or working for someone didn't really come into play until the late 1800s early 1900s like this is a new concept so for thousands of years, people's identity was associated with the things that they felt passionate about and the things that they did on the daily, right? And you saw that the family dynamic was strong and powerful in previous centuries, right? Fast forward, industrial revolution and technology and so on and so forth. You have the have and the have nots, wealth gap that's expanded. You have the wealthy versus the worker, you know, and they over time have convinced us all that we are a job, we are a role, we are a peg, you know, in a big wheel. And the reality is that was never God's intention for us. We are far more than that. We are spiritual beings. We are

capable of of new innovative ideas we're capable of creating legacies that last far beyond our lifetimes like we're so capable but that's not necessarily the message that the media or big government or those in power or whatever would want you to hear because capable people, spiritual people don't fall in line, right? And we need people to fall in line. So it's just really interesting that in today's day and age, if you ask someone who they are, they'll immediately go to a role, a job, a title.

And that's part of what we are trying to do through Rising Run, through my automotive endeavors, through the stages I speak on is to ignite what you just shared right there, where you close your eyes and get rid of all the outside. and say, who am I in here? And that empowers you to become the best version of you that you can possibly be. And again, in just three minutes, you said all of this stuff, which is just like, you know, just summarize.

That was the hardest part, by the way, by far. I'm used to like 45 minutes. Give me 45. Yeah, exactly.

Three minutes was tough. I'm a Mrs. Overdo-It. I'm a talker.

And I just admire people who can like condense. And I'm working on that. You and me both. This is not easy, especially when you have a big clock up on a wall in front of 10,000 people.

And they told us when we walked out on stage, like when that clock hits zero, a big loud buzzer is going to go off. And if you are still talking, you will be disqualified. Like it was intense. Yeah, it was intense.

And you did it with it look like with ease. I got to tell you that we're going to have a link in the show notes of that of that speech. I was able to find it on YouTube later and I've watched it several times. But yeah, just to be able to say you are not your politics, you are not your, you know, skin color, you are not your job, you are not, you know, like all the things.

And just to really take a look at that and be like, oh, yeah, then who am I? You wouldn't think that'd be such a hard thing to figure out. Right. But you just get caught up in, you know, like you said, all the messages from media and government and in our work in our schools you know all those things so you are the father of eight children i am and trust me i'm just as shocked as other people sometimes oh my gosh it's amazing well i i before we started recording i said i'm a little jealous say i hope to have a big family and god gave us one and we are very thankful for him but i am one of 100 first cousins My mom was one of 15, my dad, one of nine.

So I'm used to being around a big family and I really wanted that. I really wanted that, but not everything is in our control, right? God was like, you know, let's see what you can do with one. We know you can handle 10 kids when you're babysitting, you know, as a teenager or whatever, but what can you do with one?

Tell us a little bit about, you know, how you navigate fatherhood and a speaking career and a host of a show and work and all the things and still keep that identity. There's really two aspects to that. The first, and I think is probably the most powerful and important in my experience, is at some point along the line, I remember being in my area that I write in the morning, and I wrote the word spend on a piece of paper, and then I crossed it out, and I changed it to the word invest.

and I started to process that. I'm like, okay, wait a minute. When I'm in a conversation with people, they'll say, I'm going to invest in the stock market. And what is the expectation when you invest in the stock market?

What would you say is the expectation when you invest in the stock market? You want a return on the investment, right? Like you're going to make some money. Otherwise, you're not going to go do it, right?

When you invest in yourself, you expect a return on that investment. When you invest in your business, you expect a return on that investment. I'm going to invest in paid ads on social media. I expect a return on that investment.

So when we use the word invest, intuitively we expect an ROI. That's just natural. Now let's reverse that. Let's think about the word spend.

I spend, if I spend $5 out of my bank account, I have $5 less, right? I don't expect an ROI on that. And here's what I found. People would say, I'll invest in stocks, invest in business, invest in self.

I'm going to spend time with my kids. I'm going to spend time with my family. I'm going to spend time on vacation. I'm going to spend time watching Netflix.

I'm going to spend, right? That's natural language. Guarantee you, you'll hear it all the time. invest versus spend. So I looked at that and I thought, oh my gosh.

Okay. If the expectation is a return, how much time do each of my kids, do I need to invest to get a return? So Willow, she's nine years old. Willow is driven by wonder and invention. She's the kid that asks why about everything and she wants to invent new and anything that was shouldn't be and she questions it all which at times can make her through the drywall but at the same time i know she's going to change the world right um willow requires about a 15 second investment of time to get a return so i'm on the phone or i'm on a zoom or i'm on whatever and willow now has a question. Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm on a call. Hold on. Hold on.

I'm on a Zoom. Hold on. Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad. Whereas if I invest 15 seconds, I say, hey, Jackie, hold on. Hey, Willow, what do you need? What is it? She asks her question. I respond.

She feels seen, heard, significant. And now she doesn't want anything to do with dad. She's good. She's like, love you, daddy, gives you a hug, and she's out, right?

So I could spend 15 minutes trying to get her to be quiet, or I can invest 15 seconds, and I can get a return. My son, Joel, requires a different investment. With him, he likes fishing, soccer, sports, so on and so forth, and he responds when dad's a part of that, right? so if I'm noticing my son to be a little sulking or not his normal self I can look and say oh I haven't invested enough time doing the things that he loves to do right we might have seen each other we might have been in the same room but I haven't invested into the things that he cares about soccer fishing farming not my things but totally his things right so I invest time in those things and I get a return. My wife requires an investment of about an hour every night watching Big Bang Theory, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, or King of Queens, right? Like these are her four shows,

right? And she loves those shows with commercials, not on on-demand because she likes to close her eyes during the commercials and then it'll come back on. And then that's how she like drifts to sleep, if I invest that hour with her, even if we don't see each other all day or I've been traveling or we're running around with the kids, as long as I invest that hour with her at night, I get a great return from my wife. She feels seen, heard, significant. Our relationship is really powerful.

In my business, I do automotive training with owners of car dealerships to help them scale other dealerships. I used to spend time going to a hotel on Tuesday night, showing up at their dealership Wednesday morning, spend all day with them while they're in the middle of doing all these other things and distractions. Then we'd spend time together having dinner. And then I'd spend however much time it took to come home on Thursday. That's what it used to look like.

What I've built now is I invest one hour on Tuesday from two to three and one hour on Wednesday from two to three where I'm live in front of a Zoom and they come in and ask any questions that they have. We solve their problems. They feel seen, heard and significant and they get back to work. They get a far better ROI on their time and I get a far better ROI on my time.

So instead of spending all this time traveling all over the world, we invest a dedicated hour with no other distractions and we get far further than we ever did when we spent that time. So people say, hey, Glenn, you know, you must be very busy with eight kids and a job and a show and all these things. It's like, no, I'm really not. I invest an hour into myself every morning because I need that hour to get a good ROI and I'm meant to be in a good space mentally, physically.

I invest about an hour into my daily morning show. I get a great return from that. It makes an impact. We grow an audience.

People build trust. It helps support the business, right? I invest the time with each individual kid that they require in order to get an ROI. And some of them need a little more than others.

And that's okay. It doesn't have to be equal time. It's an investment to get a return. That's the key.

How do I get a return? And so I'm able to travel, speak on stages, run my business. I've got 10 employees. All because I think through investing, not spending. I invest time on social media.

I don't spend time on social media. A lot of people spend time. I invest. I'm like, hey, I'm going to invest time. I'm going to see what people are doing. That's working. I'm going to make sure to comment on other people's posts so that they see me and I see them. They know that, Hey, I'm investing a little time and energy into you. I'm going to like stuff. When I, when I watch Netflix, I'm going to invest time in Netflix. I'm not going to spend time watching some show that matters. Nothing. I'm going to invest it and say, how can I get a return out of this? And sometimes that return is I just need mindless for an hour. Like I'll invest an hour into the Mandalorian because it brings me joy. It brings me some peace, right? Like I thoroughly enjoy it. I do not feel any regret or remorse when I invest in time in Mandalorian,

right? So it's not don't do these things. It's just invest in a way that you expect a return from it and you'll find you have time to do it all. So intentional. And I love that, of the investment versus spend. And that is so interesting that we spend time. I want to spend more time with my family. Now I feel like that's gross. Yeah, it's gross, right? Why would you go spend? That's a deficit. It's a negative word. Invest time in your family. Next week, I'm going to invest time with my family. We're going to the lake. We're riding on a boat. We got jet skis.

We're going to invest four days together out on the lake. It's going to be amazing. We're not going to go spend four days on the lake but then you come back tired exhausted you feel like it was more work than it was worth you're behind on your your your work like when you go spend time it's it's it's uh it never returns joy when you invest you get that return of joy i love it it's so it's exciting it's joyful it's it's filled with hope and energy and all the things to invest invest the time with the expectation of a return that is the most important aspect of it is okay how much time do i need to invest to get a return and what you'll find is it's usually a lot less than you think you know i gotta spend four years doing this or i gotta do 10 000 hours there's that 10 000 hour thing right i gotta put in 10 000 hours you know what i put in jackie i used to go golf in the mornings before work. When I worked in a dealership, I would go golf in the morning and I would tee off at like 6.30 a.m. I'd play nine holes by myself. And I did this for years,

playing four or five days a week before work. I did it for years. Guess how good I got at golf? Terrible. I was just as good when I stopped doing it as I was in the beginning. Why? Because I was just spending time on the course. I spent an hour and a half swinging a club every day. No coach, no one to tell me I was doing wrong or what I could be doing better. I didn't invest time in getting better at golf. I just spent time golfing. Completely different, right? So you can go spend 10,000 hours on anything. You're not going to become an expert at it. Invest time. Invest with the expectation of a return. Am I progressing? Am I getting better? Is this working? If it's not, who do I need to ask to help me do this differently? Or what do I need to invest in to make this to where it's actually progressing? I'm actually moving somewhere, right? So if you have that expectation of a return, now when we invest the time, it doesn't take anywhere near as long as we think it does. That is genius. I literally could talk to you all day. You have your daily morning show called hashtag rise and grind. Is this the kind of thing that you're talking about on the morning show? Getting people started off for the day and ideas like this, like that.

Yeah. So rising grind is motivation, education, inspiration. That's what you're going to get. When you come watch the show, you're going to get motivation, education, inspiration, no politics no news no devastation no destruction no no nonsense i looked at the world and i noticed that the morning is filled with bad news and at night if you stay up late enough you can maybe get some laughs with what used to be johnny carson jay leno jimmy kimmel and all these you know conan O'Brien, all of the fun, entertaining shows are on at night when most people are in bed asleep.

And the day is filled from 5 a.m. till about 10 a.m. with news, violence, destruction. And so I realized, my goodness, man, most people in the world are waking up going right into that.

And we wonder why we're in the state that we're in. So we wanted to create a space that is safe from all of that. It's literally motivation, education, inspiration. You might laugh, you might cry, you might be inspired, but I promise there will never ever be death, destruction, devastation, politics, all of that stuff. And that's why we created Rise and Grind. And so motivation, education, inspiration, that's what you get. I wrote a book called The Morning Five, Five Simple Steps to an Extraordinary Life. Anybody can download that book for free. It's an ebook. You can download it for free at themorning5.com. And that is the number five, themorning5.com. And it's five simple steps. First thing in the morning, step one,

never hit the snooze button. Step two, don't touch your phone first thing in the morning. Step three is gratitude and goals. Write down 10 things you're thankful for and then your goals.

step four is to take care of the physical run walk or play golf i don't care just get in motion and then step five is to send out an encouraging message so take that positive energy that you've accumulated through your morning routine and release it out into the universe making impact in somebody else's life you are truly good i'm so thankful that that i was able to be connected with you and see you i appreciate all that you're doing i look forward to following you and staying connected.

Thank you so much, Glenn, for being on the show today. Yeah, thanks for having me. Always an honor. It's a pleasure to be connected, Jackie.

All right, parents, that's it for today. Make sure you head over to the website, noproblemparents.com. Sign up to get our emails.

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