We Are Created Uniquely: What’s Your Human Design? with Special Guest Kelly Flood

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Thanks for listening. Let's get into today's topic. All right. Welcome back.

No problem, parents. Today, my guest is going to talk with us all things human design and what the heck that even means. I am learning so much from Miss Kelly Flood. Kelly, welcome to the show.

Thank you. I'm excited for our conversation. I am too. I'm excited to share with my audience of parents all things human design.

And just first, I want to let them know that, Kelly, you bring a unique lens in your role as a human design parenting coach with close to 30 years of experience working as a speech language pathologist, supporting families, children, and educators. Kelly is a creative problem solver and will work with you to use empathy and encouragement. She's your biggest fan when you succeed and is on the sidelines cheering you on when life pulls you a little off course. I am fascinated by your work and your human design. You are an author in the second no problem parenting book, resources and stories that create confidence and connection.

That is how we met. You were interested in writing a chapter in the book and you and I are just beginning to know each other. And I am legitimately just intrigued and fascinated by this human design stuff. And the little bit that you've taught me already, I like had to take a deep breath. It just is so insightful and I'm learning so much about myself and maybe why I do some of the things that I do. So I'm excited to have you share with our audience. Let's just start right with that. What is human design? Right, exactly. It's such a, it's an interesting title for a very unique formulation, I suppose. It's a new, I call it a map back to yourself. We come into this world as wonderful, beautiful, unique human beings. And we experienced so many different people and environments and, and life journey paths. And there are times that we're like, what happened?

And we feel almost like a disconnect from things that are internal, like in desires that we have and such. And we're like, why is this working out differently than what I dreamed and hoped for myself? And we're, we realized that we're far off of a course of some sort, right? Because we're live in the shoulds and the musts from somebody else. So ultimately, it's Karen Curry Parker, who I have done my training with, and she has something called quantum human design.

Human design came to us in the late 80s. It was part of a vision quest of this gentleman who understood through this vision quest that we are part of a system, a design system. and Karen trained under this gentleman Ra Uruhu and she's up leveled the language that is being used in human design and calling it now quantum human design which makes a lot of sense to me and resonates well with me quantum meaning I know I've heard it before but yeah so we'll explain that a little bit in the sense that the quantum we know that let me step back so often human design is called the new astrology. It's a little bit of an intersection between science and spirituality in the sense that it's formulated when it takes your birth time, your birthplace,

and your birth location. It's your specific information about your life path, your style of working, your relationship blueprint, how you experience energy in the world, and most importantly, how you create a truly meaningful and authentic life. So Jackie, you are a once in a lifetime cosmic being. These are Karen's words.

You are the most unique person there is. There's never been a Jackie like you, and there will never be another Jackie like you. And therefore, you come uniquely designed to experience this world as a human. And you have a filter through which you experience this world.

and your filter is called the human design. It's how you tell your story. And it's the place that we access the quantum from. So we know about quantum physics. Yes. And that, you know, more people know about quantum physics than I do, but you can't measure time and location at the same place in the quantum. And I think of the quantum, like a river that's always flowing.

If I put my foot in and then I take my foot out of the river and then I put it back in, it's never the same river. It's never the same water. So if I'm always dipping my toe in, what story am I telling as I dip my toe into the river about who am I and how do I access abundance and what kind of relationships do I experience? And why do I always want to be on my own instead of around people? And what is the filter that I live my life through to be able to access all these possible quantum possibilities that are in this river of life that we're in so it's sort of a big story around this it's part of the the human design piece is that we each have our own energetic blueprint an individual style of operating in life and if we live so far outside of this original blueprint print we potentially feel friction and chaos and despair and angst because we we're realizing we're living so far from the essence and trueness of who we are so that's kind of human okay so what i have found so cool about this is that i did your and i'm gonna have a link in the show notes for this, your foundation chart, I think it's called. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Foundation chart. And I, I mean, you know, you take things like the disc assessment or the strengths finder or different things like that. And it's always amazes me how spot on those things are first of all, right? This human design it's different. When we go to the discs and the Myers Briggs and the other personality tools, we are still looking at it through a filter of our mind and who we perceive ourselves to be based on the other, because those questions are the other.

With the human design, the only information that you gave me or anybody gives me is their birth time, date and location. You're not asking any question. You're not asked any questions. You're not responding to anything that you might talk yourself out of or feel angst against.

It's just your birth time, birthplace and location that integrates all of this about who you are. And I think that's why it's mind blowing for a lot of people. Like, how do you know this about me? You know, and so some of it may relate to your Myers-Briggs or your desk or your Enneagram or anything else like that.

Some of it may relate. and for some people human design isn't necessarily the tool for them because we're here living in an experiment and it's an experiment so experiment with it if you learn about it and you think it's fits and you like it go forth with it there's no rightness or wrongness to it there's just isness it's just the energy of who you are well and I think that's why I'm so intrigued by it the fact that you could just take my birth date and plug it in there and I didn't have to answer any questions. Cause sometimes I feel like with the questionnaires, it depends on the day you're having the mood you're in, right. Time you have the pressures on your back, the willingness to do it, the interest in doing it. And you can, even though they say answer really quick, you know,

they just want you to answer really quick so that you don't overthink it. I get that. And I still, sometimes it would be like, Oh, cause I, somebody said, well, once you take a Myers-Briggs, It'll never change. And that was not true. I had taken a Myers-Briggs when I was, you know, a counselor and in a role as counselor five or six years into becoming a coordinator and an admin. I took it again with a team that I was coordinating. And when I used to be an ENFP, P I turned into an ENFJ and I know it's because I couldn't process. My role was not to just process. I was turning into more of that higher fire delegate or, you know, direct teach show, like hold people accountable, all that. So I had to be a J and actually it served me better to be a J. So I did switch. So when people say it doesn't change, maybe authentically, it doesn't change. It changed because the role I was in. Right. Which, which if we bring it back to human design, we talk about conditioning, we talk about conditioning events. So it makes sense in your story that part of your perception changed from P to J because of the environment that you were being conditioned in and you were taking on those aspects of it. Right. Whereas human design kind of confirms what you already know about who you are. Right. That's why I call it a map back to yourself.

It also, in many cases, it kind of gives you full permission to step into the truth and be confident in the truth of who you are. Because you're like, well, this is who I am. And this is who I've always been. And wow.

And I don't have to prove anything to anybody because this is just who I am. I don't have to be different. It also, in some cases, shows themes that you've been experiencing in your life. You know, we talked about yours in the sense that you have this, this number three, a third line profile of I'm going to trial and error things.

I'm going to learn about it. I'm going to kind of jump in and then I'm going to tell you about why it worked and why it didn't. Right. For you as a third line.

Right. And that's a theme that probably consistently comes up in your life. This trial and error thing. I'm going to try it out and see what it's like.

So I'm the queen of that, man. I'm trying everything all the time and I'm a visionary and you know, yeah, I love it. Yeah. It also helps you not take things personally because we realize that we're, I like what Ram Dass says, we're all walking each other home.

I just think that there's so much for me breathing space in that, in the sense that we're all walking each other home. I'm not asking you to be any different than who you are. Please show up as your most authentic self. I honor that.

I think that truth and integrity and honesty and vulnerability make us more beautiful people and keep us connected. And human design to me is a tool that helps people like honor who they are, like honor their own true essence. And at the same time, honor someone else's. Is that who you are?

Is that how you're meant to show up in the world? Wow, that's awesome. I'm going to honor you for that. I don't need you to be different than who you are because I'm already struggling with being different than who I am.

I don't want to take on yours too. You know, and again, the compassion and patience and love for self and others. I feel that this is an incredible tool for that. Okay. Let's, let's use mine. For example, one of the things that, um, parts of me is perfectionism.

So, uh, years ago I went to a, a workshop and there were breakout sessions and we could pick, we could, uh, summit and we could pick our breakout sessions. And so some, some of us were sitting at a table and they said, Jackie, which breakouts are you going to? And I listed my three and they said, Oh, like, I don't know, there were four or five women that kind of knew me some better than others, but didn't, they weren't like close family and friends.

And they said, you're not going to the one on perfectionism. And I was like, why would I do that? I'm not a perfectionist. I'm a procrastinator. Well, darn, if I didn't go end up switching my thing and go into the perfectionism one and went, Oh my gosh, I'm a perfectionist. How did that happen. And I was really not in tune to that at all. And then I did this foundation chart and got my human design and it's on there. So feel free to share a little bit about when you are a thing, you know, or a, what would you say? It's a, it's not that you are a thing. It's a, what is it? It's a theme of your energetic profile. That's showing. Okay. So when you have a theme, like one of my, one of my themes is perfectionism. So then help the audience or listeners understand what you do with that or how you either embrace it or just know it. And it's not like, Oh, that's just who I am. So, well, it is a little bit of, that's just who I am sense of not brushing it off and not taking ownership of it as opposed to embracing that aspect of who you are, because maybe we've been shamed for it. And we don't know how to access it and use it as our most authentic self.

So human design is an integration. It's a synthesis of ancient wisdom and modern science. It's the Eastern astrology, Western astrology, the chakra system, the Kabbalah tree of life, the Chinese I Ching, and the hexagrams, and then the quantum physics. So it's all these integrated pieces. And we have, if you look at a chart, you'll see there's like black symbols and red lines and planet symbols. And that's just the physical representation of all of that.

About three months or so before we're born, there's wisdom that is put into our body as our body is being built. And then when we are born, the minute we're born and our soul integrates with our physical body, we then create the full human design chart and map of who we are. So when your colleagues said to you, why aren't you going to the perfectionism piece, that aspect in your chart is in the unconscious, it's in their body design.

So we don't necessarily have access to that wisdom until we're older. And or other people can see those things in us more than we can see them in our own selves because they're unconscious aspects of who we are as we grow through our lovely life journey as a human some of that unconscious wisdom that we carry in our bodies becomes more available to us the pieces in the chart that are black they're part of our personality we have a little more awareness about them they're not necessarily things we can change you can try to change them again back to it's an experiment you can try to change them you may butt up against a lot of resistance to go well guess I'm not meant to change this about who I am yes I'm meant to really honor and embrace these aspects of who I am right because if you want to know who you are and you want to live a very authentic life, the human design map tool helps you really enjoy and embrace all of who you are.

So cool. Like one of the things I can't remember which one it was, but you and I were meeting and one of the lines that I had wasn't completely connected, but with you being you and I in aura together, we were in aura. In other words, like we were aligned, we were connected and we kind of completed that. Can you describe that?

Sure. So that's getting into the nitty gritty of doing a design. But ultimately, there are aspects of us that are kind of like an electric cable. It's been cut and it's like looking for a partner.

And that's our electromagnetic attachments. And we're looking to attach to somebody else who may have those aspects in their chart. not always to our benefit in the sense that, you know, oh, I can't wait to attach to somebody and my life's going to be amazing. Sometimes it's, I can't wait to attach to somebody because I actually have to go through this process of learning and carrying through some of the wisdom that I'm gaining with these people. So it's, that's why sometimes like human design is really interesting because some business teams can use it and you can learn about why some people are the leaders and the go-getters. And some people are the, I'm just going to sit back and watch what goes on and kind of guide and direct. And you're like, I don't need your guidance and direction.

Why are you doing that? You need to be up and doing, because I'm a doer, you should be a doer. And they're like, nope, I need to be the guide or director over here. And that's correct for them.

But if their team, the business team doesn't know this, you could probably end up with a lot of friction, right? And so that's one of the reasons that I really believe this is an incredible tool for parenting because when your child is born, they come with this lovely blueprint called the human design. And if you can understand who they are meant to be and how they're meant to show up authentically in the world, wouldn't you as a parent want to give them every opportunity to shine and be who they are? Well, guess what? Regardless of who you are, you're going to butt up against a lot of conditioned forces when your child who's, for example, a manifester who gets to initiate and just tell people what they do. And they're like, okay, mom, I'm going to the store. And they're three years old and they get on their bike and they go. And you're like,

okay. And every other parent in the world is like, what are you letting your three-year-old go on the bike for? And they're like, because they said they can, because they said they want to, because they've got a third line profile and they're going to try it all out. And everybody around you is like, what do you mean? What do you mean? Why are you doing that? And inside you're like, well, maybe I shouldn't. And then, you know, you go and you run and you tell your child, No, no, no, no, no.

And yet that was their natural energy to go do it. And now they're being conditioned to not be their natural self, to go against their natural self. I heard a story about a little girl who jumped up from the restaurant booth when her favorite song came on and started dancing. And someone was like, wow, she's not shy, is she?

Just a comment. And the little girl heard, oh, I'm supposed to be shy? and she took all that wonderful, beautiful dancing energy and squished it all down inside of herself and became a very shy person because of a conditioned force and outside. And so as a parent, we're always butting up against, wow, stories like family stories or society stories or whatever small town stories about who we should be and how we should show up. And, and so with the recognition of this tool when you're in or a relationship with a child and they want to do their thing it's going to challenge a lot of our own sets so recognizing through the human design lens who am I who is my child how can I honor who they are and honor who I am and how cool is that that you can get their human design just with their birth date and where they were born isn't And I think this is so cool.

You have your own human design. And I think this would be so helpful for parents to know their own human design, but then also their child so that we're not, you know, it's not always about behavior. Some of this is just about who you are and are designed to be. Absolutely.

So as an example, generators are meant to live in response. So if something comes across and they don't respond, that's not a correct use of their energy at that time. So I say to my son, who's a generator, it's time for you to clean up your toys because it's on my agenda and he's not responding to it. I start to tell myself a story that I'm a bad parent because my kid doesn't listen to me.

That's the story. There's no truth in that. the truth is clean up your toys from a human design lens of a generator is like, I got no response to that. I'm not doing it. I don't have the energy to do it at this point.

That's it. That's it. That's the end of the story. Yeah. And yet we put this, Oh my God, my kid doesn't listen to me and they're going to get a consequence and they're going to get timed out and they can't. And then all of a sudden their natural energy of, well, I could have cleaned up the toys, maybe 20 minutes. I needed to build the generated energy to go do it.

if I'd have been able to recognize, okay. And that's what I've learned with my son. Who's now 21 is when I say to him, here are all of the tasks that you have in this house, because, you know, we live in community. We have to all be responsible for ourselves and the people around us. Here are the things that are the must do's and they've got to get done by X number of times by this date or by this hour. Here are the things that need to get done. Hopefully by the end of the day, you've done them. Otherwise they're going to lend, I'm going to put a consequence on you. You don't like, right. And when we have the ability to have awareness of how our children respond to life, if you have a generator or a manifesting generator child, how they respond,

then we have a better understanding then to create a new story about who we are as parents and who are they as children, right? So I say to my son, it's time to do this. Please have it done by three o'clock because we have guests coming at 3.30.

And then I walk away and I pray to God he does it by three o'clock. And if he doesn't, what's that? Or naggy mom comes out. We don't like naggy mom, neither one of us.

Because you're not saying then, oh, if he just decides not to do it, oh, well, it's not about that. Or if he decides not to do it, he's poking me and I don't matter. And I don't, he doesn't care about me. Yeah. You can take it. Sometimes we say those stories. Yeah. It's not about that. This doesn't mean there's not going to be like consequences for things, or there's not going to be redirection or structure or boundaries or safety, or, I mean, you were using the example of the three-year-old riding their bike to the store. And I'm like, well, I kind of don't care if that's what my three-year-old's ingrained a bike to the store I'm going with. Right. A hundred percent, because You're going to be recognizing from a developmental lens, from a social safety place, three-year-olds don't get on their bikes and go to the stores typically today.

And so if they did, then the conversation comes back to, and it's really tricky. So my job as your parent is to ensure that you're safe. And this wasn't a safe choice. So next time you get on a bike, you're going to say, Mom, I want to go on the bike to the store.

And you're like, great. At three o'clock, we can go on the bike to the store. Right. So there's going to be, of course, there's going to be parenting guidelines and they're going to be natural consequences. Right. My son didn't take out the recycling the other day. I was like nagging at him. And then I said, do you understand why this is a thing for me? Because it's a whole other week before recycling comes. It's going to sit here and I got to stare at it and it brings out nagging mom. And this is the consequence of you not doing it means I show up this way and you don't like me like this. Right.

So it's always a dance. Yeah. So a kid that maybe gets stressed out or like they're told no, and they've been really anxious about this thing that they wanted to ask permission for. And they've been just hoping, hoping, hoping you say no to it.

And then they take off and they, they run or, you know, they, they climb, they do something dangerous or they just, they, they it's fight or flight. Right. Yeah. So that is, that is, that's intense.

And I've been there. I've been there in the schools. I've had kids putting chairs on top of tables and climbing the top of the rickety structure they made to pull the blinds and walk along the windowsills, right? That is not the time for teaching.

That's not the time for conversation. We are in what's called amygdala hijack, right? We are shut down, fight, flight, freeze, fawn, whatever. When the amygdala shuts down, we lose access to all of our language capacity.

You could have an incredible vocabulary, but you got seven words when you're in fight, flight, or freeze. No, there's no rational. We have no access to rational thought in that point. We are irrational.

So the event happens, might be a lot of yelling and screaming. There has to be time to come back and reconcile what that is and also have the ability to, again, developmentally, where is my child? Developmentally, where am I? Like, was I ever left alone?

Did I ever get to go off and do my own thing? And really, I wanted a parent to chase me and they never did. And now I'm freaking out. We've got conditioned stories and a lot of ancestral pieces with us.

So everyone is going to navigate their own parenting journey, however they're going to navigate it. There is no, I see through the lens of human design, no judgment in this, but more awareness. What kind of awareness, what more awareness can I bring to this situation that says, this is who my child is. This is who I am. You know, I, um, there are three profiles that carry no energy. They're called projector, manifestor, and reflector. And sometimes projectors, well, project, not sometimes they're really not meant to work the nine to five grind. They're really, uh, here they're the guidance and the directors of the things. So if they are people who just absorb too much of this energy, they may need to go and have a nap during the day.

And well, for a lot of us, 70% of the population that are generators and doers, well, we're looking at this going, why are you napping? You gotta be doing. And again, right? Conditioned story.

And meanwhile, the projector's like, I just got to escape. I just got to drain this fullness in me because I don't feel like myself anymore. So imagine as a parent, you're a projector and you've got three generator children and you're meant to be on all the time. Oh, that's exhausting.

Yeah. It's exhausting for a parent. Right? So you want to go nap as a parent so that you can show up as your most authentic self and you've got three busy, busy children.

That creates a different conversation through the lens of human design to say, wow, I really need breaks during the day or during the week. Who can offer me time for breaks? Is it my spouse? Is it my in-laws? Is it a babysitter? Is it a daycare center? How can I honor me so I can show up to be the best and authentic parent for my children when I am with them?

This is so, and there is so much more to all of it. It is. I mean, I just think that families should have human design charts. um, step one and no problem parents and seek first to understand it is about just understanding.

And this is like a good, a good way to go. Oh, I see. And without having to answer a bunch of questions or anything, just put your birth date and the place into this. And you could have a human design map for your entire family and then work with you. So Kelly, before we wrap up, you have, I'm going to have the link in the show notes for this free 30 minute discovery call.

they can get their human design chart, right? They can get that completed and then they can do a free 30 minute discovery call with you. Is that how it works? Yeah, absolutely. And just to find out if this is something that somebody would like to do. Now I'm right now doing foundational charts. It's one-on-one about who you are. I know that there are some wonderful, beautiful people out there who do family dynamic charts, all other type of reading. And I certainly, if anybody calls and asks me if they want the whole family one, I can connect them to the people who do that correctly. For me at this point, I look at this and think, if I know more about who I am, and the energy I bring as a parent, then I can show up best for my children. And then if I can see the chart of my child and understand a little bit about who they are, it's always a journey. It's always a process. How do we, how do we do that? How do we learn with each other? So absolutely.

I am intrigued. I'm definitely going to be learning more, more about this and looking more into my human design chart because we've just kind of touched the surface of it. I'm going to put your contact information in the show notes so people can get that 30 minute discovery call, the human design chart. Well, this has been so great. Thank you so much for being on the show today. I really appreciate you, Kelly. And I look forward to everybody reading your chapter in the next volume of the No Problem Parenting book. Oh, Jackie, it's been so much fun. I really appreciate her calls and I'm excited for the book to come out too, actually. Read about anybody else's chapters. We've been waiting for a while, haven't we? Because it's one of those things where Miss Jackie likes to just go, go, go and do, do, do. And it's like, wait, pause, hold it.

step back a minute it'll happen yeah that's right i can't tell you how excited i am for you all to read kelly's chapter in the book and yes we do have a launch date of august 22nd 2023 stay tuned be sure to follow us at no problem parents to get the updates on book launch interviews with the authors and much more thanks for listening today guys as always hugs and high fives Thank you.