The No Problem Parenting Podcast

Streamlining Mom Life: 12 Strategies to Create Habits that Stick! with Stephanie Iraggi of Mama Shark

May 24, 2023 28 min
Streamlining Mom Life: 12 Strategies to Create Habits that Stick! with Stephanie Iraggi of Mama Shark cover art

About this episode

Welcome Back No-Problem Parents!

Being a mom can be a hectic and overwhelming experience, but by implementing these 12 effective strategies for creating habits that stick, you can streamline your mom's life and achieve a more organized and fulfilling daily routine.

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Full transcript

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Thanks for listening. Let's get into today's topic. All right. Welcome back. No problem, parents. I have another fun guest on with me that has some amazing mom hacks for all you moms out there that are just trying to get your poop in a group, as I always say. You know, there's so much that we are managing and juggling and summer is coming and it always seems to upset the apple cart a little bit with our schedules and, you know, juggling the kids and all the activities and the vacations and everything else. So Meet Stephanie Aragi. She is a Jesus-loving, introverted, somewhat crunchy, and highly practical mom of a seven-year-old future CEO and a four-year-old ninja. Oh my gosh, you've got your hands full. Better boy. Yes, right? Stephanie is the founder of Mama Shark,

and Mama Shark's mission is to improve the quality of your mom life by empowering you to live more on less, organize your chaos, and gain the time and energy to be the mom that you want to be. I'm super happy to have you here today, Stephanie. Welcome to the show. Well, thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

So let's just, I know a lot about you, but for my listeners, tell us a little bit on what inspired you to create Mama Shark. Yeah. So before I had kids, I was a business owner and I started my own business at 18. I just always loved that sort of thing. Grew that business for a while and then got married and got pregnant, wanted to have more time to spend with my daughter at home. And so I sold the business, became a mom and then went, what in the world just happened? Because motherhood just, it was just a whole nother world as every parent knows. And what I found was, as I was trying to kind of find my feet again, that motherhood is really, it's got a lot in common with running your own business. Because I mean, you've got finances, delegation, inventory,

management, complaint department. But there's a lot of things that are that, you know, it's got in common, right? And then if you're in a business world, you can call in a like an efficiency expert to come in and say, Hey, like, here's some ideas how to save money and keep morale high. And, you know, ways that you can do this better. Like you can call in somebody like that.

And I was like, moms are basically getting thrown into the role of being CEO of this miniature company and who's going to tell them how to do this stuff better. Yeah. I was going to say CEO and manager and janitor, you know, and health department and, you know, like everything. All of it. Yeah. So that's kind of where Mama Shark came out of was I was like, let's, you know, I want to dive in here and help moms to streamline their mom life.

Because that's something I've always been passionate about that combined with some of my own struggles that required me to really focus on and do things more efficiently, because I just didn't have the energy, didn't have the time. And so I had to come up with a lot of creative ways to like, how am I going to manage my home and still be able to be the person that I want to be in the middle of all of that. So Mama Shark is basically putting all that stuff together and presenting it in hopefully very practical and simple ways so that other moms don't have to go through quite the process I did. They can skip to the, oh, this works piece of it.

Practical, simple, time-saving. Living on less. Less money, less stress, less exhaustion. You're on a number of platforms, and I think I found you through maybe something that you had on Pinterest, or was it Instagram?

Could be. It could be either one. I've got a little bit of both out there, so. Yeah, and so today we're going to talk about habits that stick, and then that's going to lead into some of your time saving sort of mom hacks. And so let's just get started. Tell us about what are habits, you know, I've read the book, Atomic Habits, I, you know, sometimes habits can be a really good thing. And then sometimes habits can be really annoying and depleting and bad, right? Like having that glass of wine every night, or having to go to your, you know, aerobics class every morning. And if you miss it, then you become the crappiest mom on on earth, you know and so sometimes habits have a way of holding us hostage yes and my dear friend Trisha Peridot actually talks about that she has a company called Turning Leaves Recovery and she has a program called Habits That Hold You Hostage so it's sort of like you come in with this well let's make these habits realistic good habits that are sustainable so so tell us about that Yeah. So a habit, just a basic definition is it's a behavior that through repetition has become integrated into your pattern of living. So good, bad or neutral. It's something that you've done enough times that it's now part of your regular day. Right.

and like you said like it can be a good pattern like you know brushing your teeth every night or it can be a bad habit like you know eating chips when you're stressed or something like that right um and a lot of these habits we don't think about because we develop them like even as children like whether it's eating three meals a day or sleeping in a bed or drinking water or getting up at a maybe since we were a kid. And so we don't have to consciously think about those anymore. Right.

And then we've got the stuff that we wish we would do or wish we would stop doing. So part of the key to kind of getting around that, like my brain is going to explode because I'm a mom and I have too many things on my mind at one time is using those habits that you already have, preferably the good ones, but honestly, you could even use some of the bad ones and still make this work to create better habits that are going to make your life less stressful. So what I've got, I'm just going to run through like 12 quick strategies and we'll go through them pretty quick just because we can talk about these all day and we don't want to do that. So we're going to run through them pretty quick. But I've also got, and I think you're going to link in the show notes, like a handout that has the strategies. So if anybody wants to go back and review them and like look into them in a little more depth. I've got a kind of a replay at this top too,

so that they can look at these in more depth as well. That's awesome. I love that because like a lot of my listeners are listening on their way to pick their kids up from school or sports or running errands or doing whatever. And so parents just listen right now. Don't worry about taking notes or jotting anything down because Stephanie's got us covered and we'll link that in the show notes. Exactly. Yes. All right. So first thing you've got to do, if you want to make a good habit, right? First, you've got to know your goals because if you don't know where you want to end up, you're never going to get there, right? So whenever I'm talking to someone who's trying to work on making positive habits, the first thing that I suggest is that they take a minute and make two lists. One of them is their and their family's priorities, kind of whatever season they're in,

what are your priorities in this moment? Because, you know, yes, it would be great if I could do daily yoga. It would be fantastic for my health, but right now that's not necessarily the season that I'm in. So you've got to look at your season and you've got to look at your priorities within that season, right? And then the next list is make a list of the repetitive tasks that you need or want to get done. So whether that's washing the dishes, keeping the house clean, exercising every day, you don't have to like stress out about this list, right? You're just making a list of the things that are in your head. They're bouncing around all the time that you're like, man, I should dot dot dot you're just kind of getting those out you're putting them on a piece of paper because those are the things that you're going to need to decide if you want to or when you want to make those happen right so it's kind of like a brain dump right exactly exactly that's exactly what it is um and then once you've got that list of priorities and tasks you're going to take a minute and you're going to pick one habit that lines up with your priorities that you need to do on a repetitive basis. All right. So don't think about the things that you're like, oh,

I should do that. But it's a one-time thing because that's not something you need to have it for. Don't think about the things that are not in line with your priorities right now, because they may not be for your season of life, or they're certainly, certainly at least not your first thing to think about. Right. And then you're going to take that one thing. We're going to talk through these 12 strategies and you're going to pick one or two of these strategies and use them to make this, to make a habit. All right. So let's use, let's just pick one thing that many of us moms want to do. We're determined to do, we think we're going to do it and then we don't. And for me, that would be meal planning. You know, there's this whole idea that I want to, on Sundays,

I want to plan out my week. How about prepping snacks at the beginning of the week? Oh, there you go. Like what aspect of it? Okay. How do we get in the habit of snack prep? Yes, exactly.

All right. So strategy number one is simply picking one habit at a time. So we just talked about that. But just to reiterate, my suggestion is don't try to decide that your habit is going to be to prep all the snacks for the week and prep all the breakfast for the week and get every dinner meal on the table every time.

Like don't do that to yourself. You're going to drive yourself crazy and you're going to burn out. Pick one. Pick one strategy at a time, one habit at a time.

Strategy number two is pair it with another habit. So one of the easiest ways to form a habit is to put it together with something you're already doing. So let's say you want to do the snack prep on Sundays. Pick something else that you already by default do on Sundays.

Maybe you have a favorite show that you love to binge watch on Sundays. so set up your phone or your ipad or something in the kitchen and watch your show listen to your podcast whatever it is you know i'm sure that's a great idea binge listen to the no problem parenting podcast while you're doing your snack prep using mama shark strategies perfect see what i did yeah i like it um so yeah you know pair those things together and it and you know use the thing that you are already doing to remind yourself to do the other thing because then as you repeat that because remember the repetitive task is part of the key like it's something that repeats naturally you're pairing it with something else so that whenever you repeat thing one you're also repeating thing two all right um it's also gonna help that kind of pairing will help put that connection in your brain that kind of links those two tasks um together it's gonna make it easier to remember. Okay. Strategy number three, finding accountability. So find a buddy who wants to do the same thing with you, or maybe you tell your spouse like, Hey, I'm going to do this so that they can be like, Hey, are you going to do that? Or even better, if you're prepping snacks,

just tell your kids, all you got to do is tell them you're preparing snacks and they're going to be like, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, until you make the snacks. Right. And then for every moment after that for the rest of our lives. Anyways, and then strategy number four is give yourself a reward. So you know how like we do this for our kids, right? We make sticker charts and checklists and all this stuff that have rewards at the end. Well, like we still like this stuff as adults. I don't know if you've noticed that, but I haven't grown up past that. I still like a good, you know, chart or something that gets me to the end and there's a reward at the end. Like that's, that's a human thing, not just a kid thing. So make yourself a checklist, make yourself a sticker chart, make yourself a, like, um, you know, Hey, when I do this for this many weeks,

I'm going to go get a massage or a new piece of equipment that you want, or an uninterrupted hour to read or whatever. And like, make this stuff for yourself so that you're, you're motivated that, that dopamine hit is, is really key to like making you want to do it again. And I love that if you've got a buddy, the two of you can, you know, buddy up, whether it's your spouse or, you know, your bestie. And then the reward at the end can be that when we've both done this, we're going to do this other fun thing together, you know? And if not, we'll do it separately because if you didn't meet your goal and I did, then I'm going by myself, you know?

Exactly. Yeah. And kind of along those lines, strategy number five is replace the dopamine. So this is particularly applicable when you're replacing an old habit that you don't like with a new habit. So like if you're dropping something that feels good and you just stop, your brain is going to go nuts because it's craving that dopamine hit that you got from, let's say you're trying to break the habit of, you know, that glass of wine every night.

you know, that bag of chips when you're stressed or whatever, like it's, it's going to be missing that dopamine hit that you've got from that yummy food or from the wine or whatever. But if you can replace that with something else that you enjoy, you can kind of help stave off those cravings by satisfying your brain in other ways, which means that you're going to be more likely to be able to continue that habit. Make sense? Yes, it does. I'm curious about what some of those dopamine replacements are. Yeah. So it doesn't have to be something huge, like, or complicated, really. Like it can be like a favorite cup of tea. It can be smelling flowers.

It can be watching a funny video. Like it doesn't have to be something big or, you know, like cost a lot of time or money, like figure out something that you like that just makes you happy and do that. Yeah. I love that videos or whatever. Exactly. It can be like watching funny videos or can even be listening to a song that totally distracts you and you get, you know, you're all into that song because that's one of your favorites and it's, and it helps kind of shift your gear.

So you're not thinking about the old, the old habit and it's replacing the dopamine. That's awesome. Love it. So then strategy number six is breaking the habit into chunks. So sometimes when you want to create a new habit, you've got to break it down into different steps. So for example, every mom's favorite thing the laundry oh right but if you think about it the lawn like you can make or you can tell yourself like I want to get in the habit of doing the laundry every day well but the laundry is collecting it stain treating it if you do that I don't anyways washing it drying it sorting it but folding it putting it away like there's a bunch of steps to laundry and so rather than feeling overwhelmed by the big cast of laundry break it down into chunks and make a plan for each one of those maybe you collect all the laundry every morning and bring it into laundry room like you use that habit pairing of like when I go out for breakfast I bring the laundry with me and maybe you start a load every morning after breakfast again like habit pairing and then after lunch you switch it and then you fold it after dinner like if you can create those a plan for those pieces, breaking it down into chunks, then that's going to make it much easier than just some big general, I'm going to do better with laundry. I love that. You could do it all in a day even, and then, and have it folded, but not put it away until the next day or two days later

or three days later. Yeah. I love that. Great. Exactly. Yep. And then strategy number seven is schedule it. So one of the main reasons that habits get dropped is because we run out of time, right? I'm supposed to be doing exercises for physical therapy and I have been so bad about getting them done. And usually it's because my day is so full of other stuff that because it's not already a habit, like trying to cram it in, I just always seem to run out of time. Right.

But the reality is I need to put it on my schedule, just like I do everything else. So if you're going to have, if you're going to create a new habit, you need to put it in your schedule, whether that means putting it on your calendar, setting reminders on your phone, just like you would for like a meeting. But if you can't find time to put it into your schedule somewhere, you've got to drop something else or pick a different habit and wait until a different life season to try to form the habit that's taking too much time. And that's okay. But don't fall into the trap of trying to put things into your day that don't fit, because that's only going to set you up for feeling like you're failing and discouragement does not breed motivation.

Yeah. So if you want to keep it up, either find where it fits or you got to do a different way. No, I love that too. I'm putting it in the calendar. I even do that with certain times when I check my social media times and when I need to make sure that my, you know, podcasts are in order for the week and, you know, round table events, all the different things. I actually have chunks of time. They're 15, sometimes 10 minute appointment reminders. Check this. And I've got that 10 minutes to do that. Same with, you know, laundry and some of the other things you can, you can like literally chunk out your day. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And then the next strategy is committing to 21 days. So in theory, science says that it takes about 21 days to form a habit. So when you're putting something into your schedule or you're making your sticker chart or you're asking your friend to hold you accountable, consider aiming for 21 days because that's just a good solid chunk. Now it might be a little different if you're doing something that's like once a week, you may have to, you know, make that longer or whatever, but you'll figure it out. But that's the idea is that something has to be repeated about that many times or for about that long before it sticks. Right. And I've seen, you know, I learned that years ago when I was doing the in-home counseling gig.

And I would teach parents to do that 21 days in a row, like at bedtime, if your kiddo's not struggling to go to bed, set up your routine, figure that out, stick to it for 21 days, even if after day three, four, five, it doesn't seem to be working or you fell off the wagon at day four, go back on. Don't start, you just keep going. I know that has worked for me and many other parents that I've coached on that 21 days seems to help get you in a rhythm.

Yep, exactly. And kind of bouncing off exactly what you just said, the next strategy is be okay with imperfect. Because you get three days in and you miss the habit or you forget or you, you know, you had the goal of A and instead you ended up doing B or whatever it is. and then the temptation is just to give up right because um or you know let's say you've committed to 15 minutes of going for a walk every day and you only had 10 so like you didn't get your full 15 in um but whatever it is it makes you feel like well i might as well not so before you even start be okay with imperfect you know have your goals set your goals and go for it but realize that life happens, kids get sick, they can't find their shoes and they make you late, like whatever,

like stuff happens and you've got to roll with being imperfect and just keep going. And then the next strategy is making it visual. So, you know, they say seeing is believing, right? So if you put your goals for your habit where you can see them, you're a lot more likely to keep them.

I mean, as simple as that. They say like out of sight, out of mind is the opposite of that, right? Like if you can't see it, if it's out of sight, if I put my physical therapy exercise bands away, I'm that much less likely to actually do my exercises because I don't see the bands and they don't remind me that they're there. But if I leave them beside my chair and I'm seeing them a dozen times a day, I'm actually much more likely to pick them up and do what I need to do. Right. So figure out a way to make it visual. So maybe that's a whiteboard or putting something on the fridge.

Maybe it's like a vision board or a collage or a checklist, kind of whatever your style is, make it something that you can see. Perfect. And then strategy number 11. Actually, this is one of the ones that I pulled kind of from my business world, right?

So when I'm creating a product or service that I'm trying to sell, it does not work if I just come up with something and just hope that other people like it, right? it's not that's not how it works I have to be solving a specific pain in my customer's life and giving them a gain that they want so you're looking at the pains and the gains and you know you're wired the same way when you're trying to like sell yourself on something right you're more likely to stay motivated if you know why you're creating that habit so what pain is it relieving what are you gaining from it maybe going to bed earlier relieves the pain of being tired all day and you gain more energy, right?

Maybe sticking to your budget each week relieves financial strain and helps you to find a little fun money while you're at it. So whatever the pains and gains are from your habit that you're trying to do, like if you can figure that out and ideally write it down, make it visual, put it somewhere, you'll be much more likely to stick to it because you know why you're doing what you're doing. That is perfect. So the pain might be, I have to get the snacks at the grocery store and take the time to do that and figure out what I want, what supplies I need for that for the week. But the gain is that I'm going to save so much time.

And that's like dopamine lifter right there when, you know, it's Wednesday afternoon and you're going to get the kids and you know, you're headed to sports or something right after, and you've got your snacks all ready to go to throw them in the car. It's like, ooh. Yeah. Yep. And then the last strategy is to follow those who inspire you. So let's, you know, go back to the snacks thing, right? Pick people who, you know, if you're, if you're on Instagram or TikTok or whatever, find the people that inspire you to form the habit that you want. So find those people that are making the snack preps or whatever that like make you go, oh yeah, I want to try that. Or whatever, like don't, don't pick the ones that you follow them and you're like, I'm never going to get there, man. I feel like a failure because I'm not ABC,

whatever. Pick people that are going to inspire you to do more of what you want to do. Yeah, I'm not following the ones that are making the snacks into cute little shapes and, you know, color coding everything and doing all that. No, I'm the fun little gadgets for putting the snacks in. That's not me. So that's what you're saying is you got to, it's got to be true to, to what you believe in the moment that you can achieve.

Exactly. It goes back to that, those priorities, right? For some people, the priority is quick and easy feeds them something. Doesn't matter what other people, the priority might be, you need a certain type of calorie, you know, you're trying to get more carbs in your kid or more or less fat or more fruit or whatever, like, you know, depending on maybe you've got a kid that's diabetic and they need certain things, like they need certain pieces. So that might be the priority or maybe your priority is that it really gives you that dopamine hit. You know, we talked about that. Like the dopamine hit is that when you cut your kid's cheese into little stars, it just makes you ridiculously happy. So cut the cheese into stars. Like if that helps you to make that habit,

because that makes you happy to do it. Um, finding what those priorities for your family are. Awesome. That's so cool. So how can we find out all this information and, and how do people learn more about you? Easiest way to find me is just on my website, which is mamashark.blog, which is not .com. It's not .org. It's .blog. And you can also find me on Instagram at mamasharkblogs or mama underscore shark underscore blog. And then on Facebook, if you just search mamasharkblog, you can also email me, stephanie at mamashark.blog. If you go to my website, you'll see something called the Launchpad. I highly recommend checking that out because I have lots and lots of resources there. A lot of them are free, and there are things that can help you with these habits and streamlining your mom life as well, and then also this is one of the things that I talk about in a course that I have called Time Management Strategies for Moms. We talk about these habits, and we kind of go dig a little bit deeper into them, and then also how to put those things into routines and then kind of build on that to build out a day that feels calmer and less stressful. That is super awesome. And I think you're that course is like $47 and you have a special offer for the no problem parenting listeners. I do. So I'm going to I've got a 30% off coupon for you and that'll be the letters J A C I. So Jackie and I'm going to also put that

in a, the freebie that I will give to you to put in the show notes so that you guys can grab that 30% off coupon and check the, check out the time management strategies course. I love it. This is so great. So use coupon code Jackie, J A C I, um, not JC. A lot of people, when we first meet, call me JC. Cause it looks like that, but thanks to my mom, you know, she just, she, uh, she gifted me that, that, uh, um, uh, what do I say? Non-phonetically correct spelling. Um, well, Stephanie, this is so great. I look forward to partnering with you on more, um, events and, and things in the future here. We're just really getting to know each other, but I came across your, your website, your information. I think it was on Instagram and I'm just like,

wow, you have so much good stuff on there. So I think I just messaged you and said, Hey, can we, You want to be on my show? Yeah. Just started stalking you and following your stuff.

So I really appreciate your time, you taking the time to be with me and sharing all this stuff and the offer for my No Problem Parent listeners. Thanks so much for being here today. Oh, you're welcome. Thank you for having me.

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