BONUS EP. How did Mothers Day get started?! + Win FREE COACHING! M-DAY Giveaway!

Jackie Finneman is a 30-year family counselor turned parenting coach with more than 40,000 hours of working with children and families. She is thrilled to share behavioral strategies, supportive resources, and parenting stories from her own real-life personal and professional experiences. Parenting is a roller coaster, not a merry-go-round. We can deal with and overcome the behavior challenges within our home and set ourselves and our kids up for a successful ride. Has your roller coaster derailed? No problem. Listen in to get you and your family back on track. Hey, no problem parents. Welcome to today's episode. This is actually a special episode, a bonus episode, if you will, to celebrate Mother's Day. So happy Mother's Day,

mamas. And I'm actually offering a chance for three moms out there listening today to win one of three prizes. In my book, every day could be Mother's Day, but I love the story. I just recently heard the actual story of how Mother's Day was started in the United States. And so I thought I'd share that with you today. And of course you can search online and get a variation of what I'm going to share with you today from a variety of sources, all about how Mother's Day started in the U.S. They all kind of tell a similar story, but I just think it's really, I just thought it was really cool. So I thought I'd share it with you on a bonus episode and also to offer a chance to win one of three prizes. So before I get into all of that and the story of how Mother's Day began, I'm going to share with you how you can win one of those three Mother's Day prizes. And dads, this is an opportunity for you to gift your wife or the mother of your children some extra mama support from No Problem Parenting. So stay tuned, pay attention so that you can enter as well and then you can gift the prize to your favorite mama. All right, so you can enter the Mother's Day giveaway today, Wednesday, May 4th through Sunday, May 8th. And then I'm going to announce the winners on Monday the 9th. So first place is going to receive a one-year membership to the No Problem Parenting community and a 60-minute strategy session with me. So the membership

includes the on-demand online becoming a no problem parent course which is about 96 minutes of video and it comes with a downloadable workbook and it's just kind of a foundational course to get you back on track to becoming the confident leader that your kids crave you to be. So with the course the membership community and the 60-minute strategy session this first place prize is worth $700. It's almost $700 worth of value. Okay. Second place is going to receive a scholarship to the No Problem Parenting membership community, which includes the online course and membership for one year. And that includes any trainings I do throughout the year. You get a coupon code. There's no fee, no charge for any of the upcoming trainings that I provide throughout the year. So that is just about a $400 value. And then third place is going to receive a 30-minute coaching session to problem solve a current behavior problem that's just like frustrating the heck out of you or maybe really causing you some extra stress or worry or anxiety around a specific behavior. And trust me, we can get a lot done in 30 minutes. So that session is just about a $200 value. So those are the three prizes, first, second,

third place prizes, and entering to win is like super easy. All you have to do, step one, go to Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app, leave a written review for the No Problem Parenting podcast. So all you have to do is go to an episode, scroll down to the very bottom where it says leave a review and you'll just, if you feel like this is a five-star podcast, you give me five stars and then you write your review. It doesn't have to be long, just a short and sweet review of the podcast. And then before you click submit, you're going to want to screenshot your review.

Okay, so screenshot your review because once you submit it, it can take a day or two to show up. So I might not know that you've actually completed that step. So make sure you take a screenshot and then click submit. And then step three is go to No Problem Parents on Facebook or at No Problem Parents on Instagram and post your screenshot with the hashtag Mother's Day.

So hashtag Mother's Day. You're going to want to share the screenshot on the No Problem Parents page on Facebook or on Instagram at No Problem Parents. and then share that screenshot with the hashtag Mother's Day. And then that's it.

You're done. Someone's going to win and it might as well be you or your favorite mama. Anybody can enter to win this and gift this to your favorite mother out there for Mother's Day. All right.

Okay, so that's it. So now how did Mother's Day start? I didn't know this, you guys. I think it's actually really cool.

And you might be surprised to learn that it wasn't simply a day to, you know, like celebrate moms and treat them to a day off or give them a special gift or a card. That actually had nothing to do with it. It started as a woman's movement in the mid-1800s. A woman named Ann Reeves Jarvis, who was a young Appalachian homemaker that also taught Sunday school lessons, and she was a lifelong activist and had organized these Mother's Day work clubs, which were to help bring attention to the unsanitary living conditions in the world at that time and to also educate young mothers on how to safely care for their kids.

Now, this was during the Civil War, and so Mother Jarvis had also organized women's brigades, encouraging women to help whether they were working on the front lines caring for the wounded or injured soldiers or they were working as nurses in the hospitals or they were you know supplying food, mending clothing, all these kinds of things. She just really was encouraging women to help without regard for which side their husbands had chosen to be on right. So after the she had proposed a Mother's Friendship Day, which was, she really designed it or set it up to promote peace between former Union and Confederate families, just to bring people together. And she hoped that one day someone would found a Mother's Day to honor mothers. All right, so that story pauses and we learn about Julia Ward Howe, who was the famous poet and reformer who volunteered for the U.S. Sanitary Commission, which was helping provide safe sanitary conditions for the hospitals that were caring for sick and wounded soldiers. And she called for a Mother's Day for Peace, which was dedicated to the celebration of peace and the eradication of the war. You guys remember her? She authored the famous Civil War anthem, the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Julia felt that mothers should gather to prevent the cruelty of war and the waste of life. And her version of Mother's Day was actually held in Boston and a few other locations for about 30 years, but ended up kind of fizzling out in the years preceding World War I. And then in 1905, Ann Reeves Jarvis died. She passed away.

And her daughter, Anna Jarvis, wanted to memorialize her mother's life. And so she started campaigning for a national day to honor all mothers. and in May of 1907 she did just that. She held a memorial service that celebrated her mom's lifelong activism at the church in West Virginia that her mom had taught at, that Ann had taught at. And then the following year on May 10th a Mother's Day service was held at the same church to acknowledge all mothers. You see where this is all going you guys? This is so cool. So that was that created the idea that the second Sunday in May would be set aside to honor every mother, whether they were living or deceased. So, and then long story short in 1914, so we're going to fast forward seven or so years, President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill designating the second Sunday in May as a legal holiday to be called Mother's Day. It was dedicated to, as he said,

the best mother in the world, your mother. All right, the first few years Mother's Day was mostly acknowledged during church services that honored all mothers living or deceased. That was really the only place it was really practiced or acknowledged was in the church. And then Anna had also promoted the wearing of a white carnation as a tribute to your mother. And that custom kind of expanded over the years to wearing a pink or a red carnation to represent a living mother or a white carnation for a mother who was deceased. And I remember growing up, my mom loved carnations. We'd always give her carnations, but I never realized the significance of the color and that the child actually wore the flower. I always thought it was the moms that wore it. Well,

anyway, over time, the day had evolved and to include other women such as grandmothers or aunts or women who were mother figures in another child's life. So what had originally started as a day of honor soon became associated with children sending cards and giving flowers and gifts and things to celebrate their mom. Now, according to many sources, Anna simply just wanted to honor her mother and the work that she had done.

And she claimed that her mom was the originator of the real Mother's Day. And she actually kind of became upset by the fact that Mother's Day had become more commercialized with the sending of cards and gifts and things and used as a way to promote other causes. And so sadly, Anna spent the final years of her life trying to abolish Mother's Day, the very holiday that she had helped to establish. Isn't that so interesting?

well I for one I'm glad that Mother's Day didn't go away not just because I'm a mom but because I really love celebrating and honoring my mom even though like I said Mother's Day could be every day of the year I do love making a special intention of celebrating her at least that one time of year and I love that she loved carnations because like I said until I read this history of Mother's Day I really didn't know the significance of the colors and how they represented living or deceased moms. And so I just knew that in church on Mother's Day, all the moms were given a carnation and often we would buy my mom a carnation corsage. And I just love that memory. But for all the moms listening out there today, happy Mother's Day. I hope you are able to celebrate yourself today, whether that means enjoying your children and doing something fun with them or spending time with your friends or even spending time alone, relaxing and unwinding.

Whatever your plans or lack thereof, I hope you're able to acknowledge yourself and give yourself some grace and understanding. And I'm going to close this episode out by sharing a quick story with you about how Mother's Day doesn't always go as planned, right? I remember my first Mother's Day. My son was just about a month old, brand new, little newborn baby.

And my husband was out of town fishing. We're here in the Midwest, or in Minnesota anyway, opening fishing weekend. used to, it doesn't anymore, but it used to correlate with the same weekend as Mother's Day. And my mom had just been gone for a year and a half when my little guy was born. And I knew that going to church by myself was going to be hard, not only because I had a newborn, but because I was pretty sure I would be emotional thinking about my own mom and all the Mother's Days that we went to church together. But I decided I'm going to do this special thing and I'm going to go to church with my newborn baby. And I was a little nervous about getting emotional, but I thought, I'm going, this is going to fill me up. Well, the good news is that I didn't get emotional in church, but that was because my little baby was fussy. He clearly had a tummy ache or something was going on and he cried about 15 minutes into the service and I just could not settle him.

I tried walking to the back of the church and getting him settled down and then going back in and I just couldn't get him settled. So I ended up leaving mass and getting him in the car. He's crying like crazy and I could not figure out what was wrong. And I was kind of worked up and I was bummed out because I was going to do this special thing with just he and I and celebrate Mother's Day and pray to my mom and all of that. And I think I said some, got in my car and said something like, come on, God, I'm trying to do something good, you know, to honor my mom. And, and my baby picks this moment to be fussy, like really? Well, the picture perfect first Mother's Day didn't happen for me. And I was really bummed out and I was really sad about it. And I kind of started spiraling, you know, into all the negativity and the sadness. But when I got home, I was able to get him settled and he, you know, fell asleep and I decided I was going to nap with him and I snuggled him up and we just took a little nap together. I was able to put things into perspective and just be so grateful for my time with him. So I just want to share that because you know what,

moms, Mother's Day isn't always so perfect. It isn't always what we had hoped for. Sometimes we even need to share with our family what it is that we would like rather than waiting for them to come up with some, you know, great surprise or some kind gesture, a thoughtful gesture that's just going to melt our hearts. If you kind of know your family isn't going to do something super special and, you know, don't get yourself all bummed out about it. Just instead take action and share with them what it is you want to do and or do something by yourself or with your friends that you want to do. Just honor yourself and do something that you enjoy that fills your cup, okay? Share with me, how are you going to spend your Mother's Day? Share it in the comments. Other people see those comments. Maybe you have an idea that is going to help another mama fill her tank on Mother's Day.

We'd all love to hear how you plan to honor yourself and your mother or your mother figures in your life. Okay. So remember to enter the Mother's Day giveaway. The details, I've already been through all of them in the beginning of the episode, but they will also be in the show notes.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you. Hugs and high fives, Jackie. Thank you for tuning in to the No Problem Parenting Podcast. Join Jackie next time for more tips, tools, and resources that will help you become the confident leader your kids crave you to be. Who do you know that we could support on their parenting journey? Like this podcast, subscribe, share, or leave a review of the show. Your support of the No Problem Parenting podcast pays it forward and helps us help more families.

Thank you.